Hello! I'm starting to think seriously that I have a bug in the system and I'm going to die alone because of it. I am an 18-year-old girl. I've never had a friend before. I have a feeling that on a subconscious level I'm deliberately screwing up my relationship with the boys, but I don't know why. I almost always like guys that I'm sure they won't like me. And I like them for several years. I gave the penultimate boy I liked three years and four months of my life. And when I like them, I don't see any other boy around me. And at the same time I run away from them. With the boy in question, whom I had liked for over three years, at one point things had started to work out. He talked to me, smiled at me, revolved around me. Do you know what I was doing? I ignored him. And when he spoke to me, I cut him. Once I was completely sure that he thought of me as an inflated muffin, I started doing the things listed above. I talked to him and hung out with him, and a little less he started paying attention to me again. Then I ran again. Then again. And again. And again. In general, this was our relationship with him. I used to deal with each other, boy. This was my shortest liking - about two months. We talked to him a lot more and we wrote to each other almost every day.
Until one Friday he asked me what I was going to do on Saturday. After reading the notice, I turned off the Internet and did not go online for several hours.
Then I went in and wrote to him that I would travel and I went out again. After that question, I cooled sharply to him without understanding why, and that was the end of our relationship with this boy. Now I have sympathy for another boy again, but I think the only reason for that is, that he is from another city and comes to mine rarely. Actually, I like someone, but with the excuse that he is 200 km from here and there is no way to get it. I never like guys who admit to me that they like me. And I think that's exactly the reason
- if they like me and I like them, then something has to happen between us, and I seem to avoid that in every way. I recently started watching a series. I loved it - I could do just that all day. I really liked the main actor and actress. In yesterday's episode, they finally admitted that they are in love with each other and became boyfriends. Today I dreamed of them as I was both myself and the actress, you know this strange feeling while you sleep and you are yourself and in the same, you look at yourself from the side and you are a different person.
The dream was not "those dreams" just a scene from yesterday's episode repeated in my head and we became boyfriends. Well, I don't want to watch this show anymore. It's just that the main character, who used to be so sexy, is now somehow ... repulsive to me. The topic of sex is extremely unpleasant and disgusting to me - if someone starts telling me something like that, I change it or directly tell him to stop. I just can't imagine someone (a boy) who really doesn't belong to me messing with my holes. I hate it. I never imagined myself as a mother. Even as a child, instead of playing with a baby and a stroller, I cooked or played with something else. What's wrong with me?
Will, I really die alone and why doesn't that scare me? Isn't the "meaning of life" to start a family and leave offspring? And how damaged do I have to be to not want that? Well, I don't want to watch this show anymore. It's just that the main character, who used to be so sexy, is now somehow ... repulsive to me. The topic of sex is extremely unpleasant and disgusting to me - if someone starts telling me something like that, I change it or tell him directly to stop. I just can't imagine someone (a boy) who really doesn't belong to me messing with my holes. I hate it. I never imagined myself as a mother. Even as a child, instead of playing with a baby and a stroller, I cooked or played with something else.
What's wrong with me? Will, I really die alone and why doesn't that scare me? Isn't the "meaning of life" to start a family and leave offspring? And how damaged do I have to be to not want that? Well, I don't want to watch this show anymore. It's just that the main character, who used to be so sexy, is now somehow ... repulsive to me. The topic of sex is extremely unpleasant and disgusting to me - if someone starts telling me something like that, I change it or directly tell him to stop. I just can't imagine someone (a boy) who really doesn't belong to me messing with my holes. I hate it. I never imagined myself as a mother.
Even as a child, instead of playing with a baby and a stroller, I cooked or played with something else. What's wrong with me? Will I really die alone and why doesn't that scare me? Isn't the "meaning of life" to start a family and leave offspring? And how damaged do I have to be to not want that? repulsive. The topic of sex is extremely unpleasant and disgusting to me - if someone starts telling me something like that, I change it or directly tell him to stop. I just can't imagine someone (a boy) who really doesn't belong to me messing with my holes. I hate it. I never imagined myself as a mother. Even as a child, instead of playing with a baby and a stroller, I cooked or played with something else. What's wrong with me?
Will, I really die alone and why doesn't that scare me? Isn't the "meaning of life" to start a family and leave offspring? And how damaged do I have to be to not want that? repulsive. The topic of sex is extremely unpleasant and disgusting to me - if someone starts telling me something like that, I change it or tell him directly to stop. I just can't imagine someone (a boy) who really doesn't belong to me messing with my holes. I hate it. I never imagined myself as a mother. Even as a child, instead of playing with a baby and a stroller, I cooked or played with something else. What's wrong with me?
Will, I really die alone and why doesn't that scare me? Isn't the "meaning of life" to start a family and leave offspring? And how damaged do I have to be to not want that? to confuse my holes. I hate it. I never imagined myself as a mother. As a child, instead of playing with a baby and a stroller, I cooked or played with something else. What's wrong with me?
Answers 5
I think you're scared and you watch a lot of movies. Aren't you a Pisces zodiac sign: D? Try to be a little bolder with the boys, go out on a date, talk. Give yourself a chance to like yourself. A relationship is not just sex, plus everyone develops their sexuality at different times, and it may be normal to feel that way because you haven't tried it. So I drove it more calmly. Nowadays, people get married at 30, so there is a lot of time until the desire for marriage and children.
You definitely have something. Go to a psychologist, you sound like a 12-year-old and you're an adult, and this fear of intimacy and even meeting a boy is not normal at all.
I'm the same as you. It's just that I'm 16 years old. I just want to give you some advice. I can't wait to be 18 years old. Then I will be an adult, life will be in my hands and I will go to another big city, where I will start all over again. I'm trying to tell you you're very cool right now, you need to tighten up a bit. You'll always find a boyfriend someday - if you're not ready now, don't. Nobody is chasing you. Absurd to die alone. 7 billion population, there will be one man for you too. No, never go out with someone you don't like. In a sense, carefully choose the people around you, trust is most important. Imagine that your first boyfriend turns out to be your future husband or the greatest love in your life. Do not rush. There are people who find boyfriends only after 20. Know that you are not alone and just tighten up a bit.
Hello, author :) I think that a large part of adolescents go through this stage of their lives - some earlier, others later, and others still can not overcome this barrier to grow up. I think you are very anxious, sensitive, cowardly and this is a bad joke. The fact that you have never been with anyone has impressed me personally, few girls have stayed true to themselves, be proud of that! I, too, if I liked someone (as a child) lasted for years. I can't call it love, because I didn't know the boys, but I had a strong desire to be with them, to get their attention, to make me special. I called them Imaginary Boyfriends because they were just like that - I didn't reveal my feelings to them, I was afraid to take the first step and that's how I like someone, enough to find something to be sad about and to deviate from my personal development ... obviously. It doesn't really make sense, but maybe with these "loves" two main questions formed in my mind - why do I like such guys and why when I like them I don't do anything about it. The answer to the first question (at least in my opinion) is that we girls like boys who remind us of our father - not just visually, but in character. From the family we have models for behavior, for behavior in society, in the family, etc. This model, which we have built for a Man, is rooted in our ideas about our father or in other words subconsciously we want to restore the family situation in the future with our partner. The answer to the other question is that I was (and still am) inexperienced. I guess you're running, because you are afraid of the unknown. I also ran away from you like everyone else, hurting valuable boys, which was very difficult for me. But maybe we should all just go through this. Ask yourself what is the worst that can happen? To come across the wrong one? Well, in order to appreciate something, you have to have experience, to know what was bad, to enjoy the good now :) Work on yourself. Be a little bolder and go out with a boy you like. See what happens. Ask yourself questions - do I like it; how is his company; do i want to try. I was also very worried, but since I had a long-term relationship, I have relaxed. Although now I am free and there is a man in my life and my behavior is just like yours! I just made rules to follow so that I don't give in to fear completely. I hope I have been helpful and successful! Do not give up on yourself, get to know each other, everything is inside us and we create chaos of thoughts, feelings and emotions, get to know each other, it is always worth it.
I'm like you too, only I'm 19. I've never had a boyfriend and sex topics disgust me. I cut off all the guys who liked me, but I still wonder why I'm not committed: D P. with What is the name of the series you watched? I am romantic by nature and I love such series :)