Hello. I face the following problem. We are about to come together to live together as a young family. We talk for a long time to move out, to live in a dormitory, but I keep hitting a rock. My future husband wants us to stay with his parents so that he can help them and look after his sister (a 23-year-old woman who just gave birth.) I can't accept it as normal to live in one room, to comply with 6 other people. The house is old, there is no bathroom and toilet, it needs repair, but no one cares. We talk, we talk and they have to go there, I hear stories if I loved him I would have been there in the village. To give up my job in the city. THERE IS NO MANAGEMENT WITH THESE PEOPLE. PLEASE ADVISE ME HOW TO ACT!
Answers 13
"Forthcoming", "Fixes", something not very literate citizen ...
Lion love yourself, then the others. If you go there, a bad life awaits you, and the inevitable separation is just a matter of time. And he, if he loved you, would not offer you such an absurd thing. Look at yourself, put yourself first. One has to compromise sometimes, but it is a robbery of your life.
Well, not at all, you live in the city until it matures or until you meet someone else. How hard are you, are you pregnant?
He has to separate once and then he will like it. He may be worried about the financial part of a separation. And I in your place would not go to live with them, not because of the living conditions, but because other people will interfere in my relationship and can spoil it. If he does not want so much and is not ready for such a step, there is nothing to waste your time.
Drop it. If he loves you, he will care that you are well, not "his sister." Run away from such toxic families. What kind of motherfucker wants everyone to return to one house? Run, otherwise you will be sorry. No woman deserves it. Such a life is not normal.
Disagrees. Don't give up your job, especially if you're happy with it. Is there anything to work in the countryside? In addition, you say that the house is old, needs major repairs and improvements. They will invest money, you will blunt deprivations and a lot of inconveniences, for them you will always be in someone else's house "ready". Your problems are now guaranteed. I don't wish it on you. I speak from bitter personal experience.
Run, different generations in one place is impossible. Your opinion and your wishes will never be his priority
You grab your bag and goodbye. You throw it away and live your life, it seems that with this government there is none.
Drop and run, if he loves you, he will run after you!
He is not ready to start a new family of his own, are you the initiator of his separation? If so, this proves once again that he is not ready, you speed things up and you will not get happiness and satisfaction from it, even if you get together, it will not be on his initiative, you will always know that he did it because you want him, not because he has experienced that need. However, he would not mind living with him in the house, which means that he wants you in his life as something more than a boyfriend for dates. Your reluctance to go to this house seems to be more related not to the inconveniences of everyday life, but to the people who live there. They are strangers to you, but they are his family at the moment and he is very attached to them. If you live there with him, forget about independence between you. You will see in 1-2 years a baby that you will not look after, but your mother-in-law, and zulva (or etrva, I don't know what the little sister will be like there), will give you a sense of what to do. Think about whether you really want to be a family with this person and these people. He even retells to you what his people said about you, ie they discussed with them that if you loved him, what are you? I can tell you that when a man loves a woman, he doesn't say a word about her in front of him, let alone discuss, and then tell her, "Mom said that if she loved me, she would you come to us ... "This only happens to a puppet man, and yours seems to be. If you think that by living together in the city, you will separate from them, you did not know. Even from a distance, they will run it, he will travel to the village for good and bad, they will talk every day on the phone, he will tell them about your life, how you settled, what you cooked, Saturday and Sunday will be a tragedy if you are not in the village and they will sulk if you do not come, they will come to visit you, etc., you will never be just the two of you, even if you are alone in the apartment. It will always be you, him and YOU.
There is nothing to do. If you don't like his family, you better realize it in time and don't commit to it.
And why did you have to shout at us at the end of your confession?
His sister stands up and tells me a few days ago that I am whole to separate their close-knit family. Zeta lives and he has not worked there for about 3, 4 months, they have a 2-month-old baby. What a family this is. Apparently he doesn't want his brother to be happy because he gives money.