I want to know where I'm wrong in my relationship with the girls. To clarify and get an accurate idea, I will say that I am a little over 20. I do not have much experience with girls, let alone almost none. Maybe in the last year I started to meet more actively with members of the fair sex and try to forge some more serious relationships. Unfortunately, so far only disappointments have occurred, and every time everything starts very well. So I've already started not to put so much emotion. The truth is that I notice a radical change in the girl's attitude when I reveal my intentions or, to be more precise, that I really like the girl. It's as if at that moment, when they realize that I've already sunk in and they lose interest instantly and things only go bad there, no matter how hard I try to fix them and it comes to the point when once again I hear an explanation like: "You're very cool and it's great to spend time with you, but only as friends": D If I hear it again and I don't know how I will react anymore. I'm going out with the girl on the 1st date. We both like it and so 2nd, 3rd. It reaches a maximum of 5 and I'm shaken by this for Just Friends. I only explain it to myself when I tell the girl that I really like her and things go out. What conclusions should I draw? I am who I am and when I feel something inside I don't want to keep it. Someone will tell me to wait to meet the girl to whom when I say this thing she will respond in the same way and things will work out. But given that I missed 2 amazing girls because of that moment: X I wonder if I should try to suppress my feelings until things are sure. Please advice, if anyone has had similar experiences, I will be happy to read some answer.
Answers 13
I think you should meet a little longer to like yourself, not another 4-5 meeting.
I will try to tell you from a woman's point of view how I see things. I give 1 or 2 meetings to the boy to show up. If he doesn't have a plan for where to go, he doesn't behave like a gentleman and talks only about himself and some topics that are completely foreign to me - he is directly on the list - a friend. To try to hold a girl's attention, research what she needs and how to impress her. Get reading tips for boys on the Internet, what to do and not to do on a first date. Also, do not annoy or pressure the girl. Behave like a mature man in whom a girl can see support, protection and security. Success!
I am the same. We went out with a girl for two weeks. Billiards, cafes, pastry shops and finally I asked her directly, and she told me that she only accepts me as a friend :(
Brother, you make a mistake that 90% of boys make. When you want to meet a girl for something more and you are looking for more than friendship, make it clear before you start getting close to her, it's very simple :)
I'm very interested in how on the 3rd date you already have "feelings" that you can't keep? !! To sink - okay, but even feelings? I think there is a moment of filming. Don't rush out in front of the girls, it's normal not to be taken seriously after being so in love.
Dear boy, try to clarify your goal - girlfriend or sex partner, many women withdraw from men who go to sex very quickly, you can just ask them - and after the 10th meeting, how does he find you? you can hear interesting things Also in the style of don Juan, they say that the seducer never states that he takes down a woman, they are just friends women like to be courted try to extend the time of these meetings before you clarify one attention to her has the same value as a small gift if she is not impressed by it - you decide if you need this type of girl
Generally wrong approach if you want to * point. You have to tell them in plain text, they are not small to know it. No feelings, hollows ala-bala. "I really want you tonight" is enough. Get them, buy them things, be rude, throw them in the middle and they are yours to the grave. That's the way it is
Author: To number 2: I don't date any girls. I have some claims from musical preferences, culture and worldview. If it doesn't fit in with them, I won't go out with her at all :) That's why when I find such a girl who suits my taste from these points of view, I try very hard and try to make everything go as it should. This includes cavalier behavior, listening and giving the word to the girl constantly. I have read similar articles and tips that you mention. I don't bother, I don't press and I'm always super careful. To number 4: I make it clear and they understand it and even the first meetings pass with similar thoughts from both sides I am almost convinced and then I screw things up when they are already on the edge. That's why I released this topic "WHERE I'M WRONG": D To number 5: You touched me: D As I mentioned above, I go out with such girls who have already made a very good impression on me by communicating with them in advance. And I'm somewhat in love too, but after a few disappointments, as everyone knows, that moment is starting to disappear. To everyone else: Sex at such a stage, gram does not interest me. I'm not gay or asexual. I just don't think about these things in the initial stage of getting to know them. Rather, I think of things like, "How wonderful she is and listening to my music and being super intelligent and energetic, and how great it will be for me as a couple." And now, if we go further, sex will be like the culmination of our commitment: D I hope it doesn't sound a little strange, but I'm like that. I just wanted to point out that I have no problems thinking about sex during these first dates. Thanks to the respondents! I will be happy if there are more answers. And obviously I'm just going to have to try again and again until I get along with one of these great girls, and I'm just angry that I rarely find them, and imagine how you rewind everything to go perfectly and how things fail, how I feel, and knowing that I will hardly have another chance with such a girl. And I just don't care about others ... I don't have such a need for sex that I go to have one just because of that.
Number 7, there's something perverted in your logic, but it's actually very correct. I, and many of my friends, have had the opportunity to choose between boys who always agree with us, who run almost after us, tolerate all our whims and those who keep us in the dark, create doubts about whether there is no other , if they have not cooled down to us, at times they may behave indifferently, and in the next moment they are very kind. and guess which type we chose. Author, I don't know what to tell you ... maybe by admitting your feelings to them, you scare them or they decide that you are tied in a towel. I would rather not take you seriously if, after 2-3 meetings, for example, you explain yourself to me in love.
Author: Thanks to number 9! The conclusion I made was what I already understood, I just had to make sure. Other times I block all feelings, no matter how much I like her, until things are sure :)
I don't think you should be too insistent. Show interest at first, then step back slightly. Look busy. Let her look for you. We like women a little more ... how to say it, mysterious, interesting guys. Don't immediately flood her with text messages, harass her on Facebook or Skype. Put yourself on the other side. If a girl is too insistent on you, just calls you and looks for you, she immediately agrees to see you. As soon as you call her, she runs to you ... Well, won't you be uninterested.
"Because of that moment: X I'm thinking about trying to suppress my feelings until things are safe." - I tell you yes - that's right! Success F35
You are not wrong anywhere! A girl your age tells you that. It's just that some girls get scared when they have feelings at the beginning of their relationship. But there are many others for whom this means a lot. Do not hide your feelings about anything in the world. You are like that and it should be clear to them, they should accept you like that. Success! :)