I am a young man and I feel very lonely. I want to find a serious girlfriend, but for as long as I can remember I've been hitting a rock. I have a job, I study higher education with a promising specialty, I play sports and I support myself. I'm not a bastard, I get along well with people who treat me well, I'm not small, I'm decent in bed, and other reasons that may be to blame. My last failure was with a girl, to whom I became attached quite quickly. This is a big disadvantage for me - fast attachment. I gave her an expensive (at least for my ability) gift for her birthday, and she didn't even say "Thank you!" On the contrary, she scolded me for exposing her to her colleagues, for which I apologized. Then he scolded me for leaving her alone and treated me like I was some kind of garbage. He told me he didn't want a relationship, and he made me a manic freak, who did not know what care and love were. It was as if he spat in my face. When I'm direct with girls, they tell me that they didn't know me well enough yet and didn't want to get engaged. When I am patient, I am told that they value me as a friend and do not want to lose their friendship with me. There was a girl from the university who had isolated herself from everyone in our group. Only I paid attention to her, and when it was cold outside, I gave her my jacket so she wouldn't freeze. I got along well with her, I was interested in her, and in the end she cut me off quite rudely and abruptly, when she got into a fight with a rich man for a few weeks (and she wrote to me for months). And when he didn't need me, he would just joke with me. I also had a case where a girl spoke to me and she and I became quite close. At one point, she started complaining to her ex-boyfriend about how he treated her badly and so on. At one point, I realized that she was starting to behave like that, and later I realized that her old friend had just offered to reconcile. In all these cases, the girls cut me, and before that they were with various uncles, skinheads, tattooed heroes or rich people who treated them badly. And all the time, my good attitude towards them seemed to be indifferent to them, just telling me about their exes, how badly they treated them. And in the end, they cut me, and in a way, as if throwing garbage in the bucket, again messing with someone similar to their old boyfriends. The last case hurt me a lot, because I decided to make a simple gesture to show her that I appreciate her. I didn't do it because I expected to go together or something, but simply as a simple gesture to a person I consider close. I explained this to her, told her I was sorry if I made her uncomfortable. She reacts normally. But after two or three days he just kicked me in the ass and even blocked me on Facebook. I was blown away. And she wasn't even my type. I'm weak, she was fuller. I train and eat healthy, and she is stuffed with garbage and so on. The most important thing in life for me is to find a valuable person next to me, and for her were the parties and girlfriends. Without any general culture and with limited thinking on many issues. And there was nothing special about his face. Nevertheless, I was ready to accept her as she is, because I am not mercantile. And she took out such unrealistic self-confidence that I was left speechless ... Like a complete fool, I put myself on the white dot, and she would take my penalty directly. :) It turned out, that it's not just me. When we gather in the company of men, the singles compete to tell similar stories in which they have been humiliated by girls. And those who are engaged do not stop complaining about their girlfriends. Here we are talking about people who have been in a relationship for only a few months and sound like retirees. There are very few people who have a relationship and feel happy about it. Most of them stay with the person next to them because they are afraid that someone else will not look at them. I'm not a player, I'm not a fuckboy, I don't like this style because I'm looking for something valuable. And I don't want to find him when I'm 30, 40, 50, etc. I'm 22 and I can't believe that there isn't a girl about my age or with some small difference who can't help me accept me as I am. I'm not a monster .. I'm looking for a connection, in which to put the other person in the first place. To accept him as he is and to support him in difficult times. Of course, I expect the same. Not a relationship based solely on sex or entertainment, but on something meaningful and valuable. I have the feeling that women are overwhelmed by some total hedonism and selfishness. Just give them parties and fun. The feelings of others are useless. They turn decent men into garbage, after which they subsequently run. However, I feel terribly lonely and hurt at the same time. My biggest dream in life is to find someone to love and support, and to create something worthwhile to fight for - family, lifestyle, experiences, travel, love, trust, respect etc. I am not interested in cars, money, exams, diplomas, successes and so on. If I don't have anyone to share them with, I don't care at all. However, no one even gives me a chance to prove myself. They play me directly or put me in the friendly zone. Am I mistaken somewhere? What to do?
Answers 22
The ones you come across are whores ... If they don't want a relationship, what else do they want? And let me ask, why did you apologize to the first one after you gave her a present and she spat at you for it? I think you're the problem, man under the slipper. Hopefully, when you find a woman to dump you and leave you with nothing, then you will come to your senses ...
For a start, you are very, very, very verbose. Such crickets do not like women. Learn to talk less, listen more and ... your parachute may open. And yes - and as you describe yourself more like a man-glue. These are also not well received by the fairer sex. However, I do not know how to change this.
Haha, friend, take your time. You say I don't want to find a wife at 30, 40 ... And do you think that exactly around your age the girls are as you describe them, they live! Now you gain experience with women, and when you graduate and work you will find her, the one you are looking for, do not rush your little one
My impression of what you wrote and of other men with similar complaints. Very servile, flattering behavior, it is obvious that you are desperate and in serious need of female attention and approval. You try to "buy" women with gestures and gifts, instead of impressing them with character. And you resent that you don't succeed, as if someone owes you. Such behavior is unattractive.
You actually answered yourself without realizing it. You get attached too quickly and too much, and that's something that repulses. Attachment and falling in love are two different things, almost opposite. Obviously you are missing something, some warmth and closeness in life and you are desperately trying to find someone who will fill it. And this is felt. Accordingly, the women withdraw. Focus on something else in your life. Stop making gestures to prove something. Just get to know people. Judge. Hang out with those you like. Don't look for a connection at any cost. Think about how you can keep the sand in your hand. If you squeeze it, it will leak. You need to loosen your grip. So it is in life. Relax and things will sort themselves out. G30
I sympathize with you .. :) if you could leave any contacts
It's not your fault, it's just that people are different and you have to find a person with similar priorities, but at this age it will be quite difficult. Most of your peers now want adventure, emotion, big companies and round-the-clock parties. They choose the types of men (you described) because they give them all that. You will become a walker among these girls when they approach their 30s, because then the woman is looking for a quiet life, ie a good man like you, with whom to start a family and have security, both financially and emotionally.
Do not despair, be patient.
Author: I just feel very lonely. I do different things, but my feeling stays and intensifies with each passing day. I am ready to give everything I have to find a person who loves me. I'm not talkative or talkative, I just wanted to describe the situation as accurately as possible. Am I sticky? It is possible, but only after I become attached.
I'm a girl and I'm just like you. I always try to behave well and they always put it on me in the most brazen way. Is there any option to contact me because it is long to write
You can try on dating site eg elmaz. com There you will meet at least girls with whom if it doesn't work out you won't meet at least at the university after that. I don't think there's a problem with you, it's just a matter of time. When you finish and start working, it will be much easier for you. Many of the girls live in dreams and illusions of a wealthy man who will take them for my beauty. Over time, you will appreciate and appreciate this type of behavior on your part. And something else no one wants to be suffocated, when you have a partner you have to leave her freedom.
You will find it when you least expect it is always so Don't expect at all costs drive it a little more with character self-confidence be funny but not a clown it always attracts women not to explain to them that you almost can't live without her
That's right - there are dumb bitches who don't appreciate good treatment and then complain when they are treated like garbage, but ... there is a saying that says: "A dog (bitch) that bites the hand that feeds it, licks the boot that tramples him, "it's the same with these women.
Yes, it is in you. He who desperately drags for something, only repulses it! And since you didn't want something from the ugly fat woman, why are you giving her presents? An expensive gift is not just a "gesture of humanity"! If you are lonely now, what will happen when you are 82 !? You whine terribly about a man!
Brother, the problem is in you and it's called annoying, grumbling and petty, I'm sorry to tell you but what do you expect when you gave her the jacket and gave her something to sleep with you right away? I am a boy of 24 and I have given my jacket to other boys and I have given them various things for a birthday or an exam, should I expect sex from them, are you okay? Nobody owes you anything, the fact that you behaved ok is great, but what do you claim? So you're doing good in order, everyone will beat your clown, I generally like to read such nonsense as what you wrote, I'm very smart, I'm in great shape, and she's fat and "trampled" and had "unrealistic self-esteem "... why did you take it off then? As you speak behind your back and I imagine what a hypocrite you are! I'm one of those, as you call them, "tattooed heroes," the fact that I have tattoos doesn't make me inferior to You-the Great Misunderstood, I'm natural with girls and that's why they like me, I don't make accounts of who I gave what to, who answered me and I don't judge them, and I was played, it's normal, but I didn't go to spit on them and complain on the sites, so they decided, I'm not their type ok, but I'm friends with a lot of girls and some who were my boyfriends, I'm not angry, I'm not looking bills, I don't intrude at all costs and now I'm with a girl of 31 and I'm super happy with her, if she decides to dump me I'll understand her, but I'll never say anything against her anywhere! Do you understand what I'm talking about and why you're not successful? and I was played, it's normal, but I didn't go to spit on them and complain on the sites, so they decided, I'm not their type ok, but I'm friends with a lot of girls and with some who were my boyfriends, I don't I'm angry, I'm not looking for bills, I'm not intrusive at any cost and now I'm with a girl of 31 and I'm super happy with her, if she decides to dump me I'll understand her, but I'll never say anything against her anywhere! Do you understand what I'm talking about and why you're not successful? and I was played, it's normal, but I didn't go to spit on them and complain on the sites, so they decided, I'm not their type ok, but I'm friends with a lot of girls and with some who were my boyfriends, I don't I'm angry, I'm not looking for bills, I'm not intrusive at any cost and now I'm with a girl of 31 and I'm super happy with her, if she decides to dump me I'll understand her, but I'll never say anything against her anywhere! Do you understand what I'm talking about and why you're not successful?
Aren't sex and fun meaningful things? What exactly do you mean when you say you want something meaningful? General business projects? Common mortgage and children? I can't understand something ...
I'm very annoyed by people who try someone, and then when things don't work out, they start explaining "she wasn't even my type, she had a big nose, and I like small ones, blah blah." A triad begins of how he, you see, was ready to swallow his ego and preferences to be with her, but she cut him and now let's spit on her as she is both useless and does not want to be with me. Well, it can't be that way. When you don't like someone completely, it's humiliating for both you and them to "accept them as they are." Because you don't really accept it, you seemingly swallow what you don't like, but you are internally dissatisfied and you project your dissatisfaction on the person. It's as if you're almost doing the girl a favor by liking her, and she should be grateful to you and catch up with you, because no one else will want her. Where are you wrong: 1. In desperation you deal with people you don't really like 2. You allow women to use you and call it "kindness" 3. You expect that once you've allowed them to behave the way they want you to, they owe you something and everyone times you get disappointed 4. You are looking for a relationship in which to put the other in the first place, which in itself is not a bad thing, but starting with this attitude, you are ready to ignore yourself in the initial stages of getting to know each other. During your first few meetings with a girl, you judge her and she judges you. During these meetings, if she doesn't see that you're holding on to yourself, and you're ready to follow her like a puppy, it's perfectly normal for her to lose interest. In her eyes, you look desperate, as if you're just waiting for someone to come and dedicate yourself to her. There has to be some balance between yours and hers, of course, but that comes at a later stage. While you are getting to know each other, you have to be firm and defend your positions, otherwise you automatically go to the friendly zone. I'm a woman a little older than you and I've cut such "good boys." Some of them were really nice and kind, but the moment I felt like they were waiting for a woman to come and fix their self-esteem and life, I stopped seeing them as potential partners. Then they tell how fat, ugly or something-you-were. One had even called me "Do you know what kind of women I've been with" and used his phone to show me pictures of him with a pretty girl in an attempt to complicate me. I don't understand why people deal with people who don't attract them. If he doesn't like me, go and download someone he likes. Not to try and not to tie, to explain to me how I was not to his taste. Complex work. Fix your attitude and stop hating. Nobody owes you. It sucks to be cut off, but you keep going and that's it.
You are not beautiful. The priority of the young woman is a confident and handsome man, everything else is in second place. You probably have shoddy genes, and that lowers your level a lot. Often the problem is not in the behavior, but in the appearance. Beautiful people for a unit of effort receive much more from life, including love. Wait until about 35, and catch an ugly woman.
You are a classic "nice guy". Your problem is not your appearance, but your character. Even if you look like Brad Pitt, if you don't change your thinking and behavior, you won't find a woman who wants to be with you. Women, by themselves, are not to blame for liking a certain type of masculine behavior ... it is in their nature and nothing can be done about it. Either you accept it and correct your character, or you become gay or a monk. Now a little about the change you need - your problem is quite serious and with a few lines here I will not be able to explain it to you so that you understand me correctly. So I will approach a little more cardinally. You open Google and enter "john alexander how to become an alpha male pdf" (I hope you read English), download your book and start reading carefully. I can guarantee you that this is one of the most important books, which you will read in your life. In addition to reading, you will have to make a conscious (huge) effort to change your behavior fundamentally. This does not happen in a day or two, but once you understand the theoretical basis and start practicing what you have learned, I promise that your life will change radically ... and not only in terms of female presence, but in general.
Do not give up. It's like that now and it sucks, I know very well. Think about how young you are, how many people you will meet in the future. Fill your time with hobbies, even though loneliness despairs you so much that nothing is done to you. You don't know who is looking at you with what eyes. The goal is to make the girl want to be a part of your interesting life, not you of hers. Plan several trips to interesting places in Bulgaria, if it is with a friend / s even better. Exercise, eat right, do your job at all. If a girl wants to get closer to you, she has to follow your schedule, not yours. Be firm in this regard, because a responsible, strict and supported man is very desirable. Smile, be kind, but don't share too much about yourself and don't buy anything for God. You'll just show her that, that you are ready for anything for her and will spin you as she pleases. Let her wonder if you have feelings for her or not. Don't explain to her in detail what you're doing, you're just explaining that you have a job and that's it. I hope I helped
I'm 33 with a few serious relationships and a lot of fake chicks. I recently ended a 6 year relationship. I want children, family, etc. My desire for a serious relationship was when I was 21. I have been running my own business since I was 19 years old. I went bankrupt twice at the time of separation from a woman. None of them gave me a hand in a difficult moment. For those women you write ... they don't deserve you! They don't even deserve you to say hello. Just be yourself! I will give you some advice as a bigger and more experienced man. The only person you have to prove yourself to is yourself! Respect and value yourself, so you will teach women to value you
I will be honest. And I would run away with dirty gas from a man like you. It's just that despair and the desire to "stick" to someone at any cost is creepy. At the same time, you are quite hateful, you have not learned to recognize the signs with which a woman shows that she is attracted to you or vice versa - that nothing will happen and if you insist it will get worse. I do not agree with the comment that a typical 'nice guy', on the contrary, I think you are quite vicious and petty and others feel it. You don't try to be an interesting person, you have to be able to have fun, to enjoy life, you're 22 after all.