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Love and affairs

Where Do I Mess With Men?

By 3034940 September 10, 2020 36 answers Last updated September 10, 2020

Hello! It says a 21-year-old girl. I study, work, go out with friends, have a good family. Everything is fine, except for one thing - my love life. I look like a normal 21-year-old girl. I do not complain about the lack of male attention, but about the attention itself. I want to mention that I have never had a really serious relationship. All this year I went out with exactly two men, both about 30 years old. When I went out, I mean we went out once, I understood where things were going and it didn't happen again. One had decided that we would have sex that evening, and the other obviously wanted to wait for our second meeting. A few months before that I was going through my previous relationship, which lasted only 2 months and was again based solely on my boyfriend's desire for sex (again almost 30 years old). Unfortunately, I was really in love and deluded, and I had a hard time just being used. It was as if this story affected me the most and I lost my trust in people in general. What bothers me is that I don't see any serious intentions in any of the men around me. And by serious I mean - just a relationship - to know that I can count on this person, to be able to talk to him and in general all normal human relationships. I am aware that there is no way you can tell me the reason for this, but I still ask ..... Am I attracted to something like this or is everyone just looking for sex? Where am I wrong, if so? I never have a negative attitude towards anyone from the very beginning, on the contrary. And all the disappointments. I've already learned to recognize these men to some extent - the same phrases in each of them, despite, that as humans they are hellishly different. I even find it funny one moment and feel sorry for myself the next. And yes, this is not the most serious problem in the world - if you intend to tell me that I am only 21 and have time - save it, I know. I will be happy to hear answers from men on the issue, but also from women, of course!

Answers 36

1
lickmypussydaddyin answered · September 10, 2020

   I know women like you - wanting but not finding serious men. Just without realizing it radiate such a type. Namely, that they are looking for a non-committal relationship. In my opinion, pay attention to how you look, how you dress, how you make up, how you behave and resp. what message are you sending to others. If, for example, you make up too provocatively, it is normal to attract prostitutes. I have not seen you, I only guess based on observations and experience. Otherwise, from what I've written, you look like a decent girl.

2
subby1100100 answered · September 10, 2020

   These. the ones you go out with are some cool walking dudes, though, especially once you've caught the phrases they use. That is, you obviously like the type of men that most women like. The men in question know they are liked and take advantage of it. Try a little more ordinary men.

3
camarolove answered · September 10, 2020

   They are hardly looking for only sex, but still sex is important in a relationship, it is part of communication.

4
ashly_rosse answered · September 10, 2020

   Well, I'm sorry, but you're sitting down to complain, and at the same time you're only dating someone in their 30s. At 30, you remember what they think when they go out with you, when in fact you already understand it. You are just on completely different levels of communication, no matter how much you are bothered by your age. It seems small to me and it makes an impression on me that I can't have a normal decent conversation with a girl of about 20-21 and what is left for a man of 30 years. Of course, he will only want sex from you. Why don't you look for a normal relationship with a person your age, huh? Somewhere around 20-25. Or is it not poisoned enough? Not enough money? No car? Which of all things? You will find what you are looking for. Sorry, but I don't feel sorry for you in any way, because you go out 10-15 years older, they fuck you, and you start complaining about how men don't get up, and at the same time you look for and want that. In general, you like to have dramas. You will find a man, but he will be 30-35 again, you will entertain him a little and then again to the next one and we will read topics again why I am not doing well with men. The answer to your question lies in the first sentences. Male at 25

5
clitsrme answered · September 10, 2020

   Really number 1 is right, I watch my girlfriends who are very sexy, dress provocatively, constantly hairstyles, makeup, These girls change 3 4 boyfriends a year, and I just don't know about sex. If you are like them, you will attract the ones you described M33

6
asifali answered · September 10, 2020

   How will sex on the first or second date prevent you from a serious relationship? Grandpa Torbalan

7
curiousandcurvy1 answered · September 11, 2020

   I'm the same as you, with the difference that I'm 23. And the problem is not how old the men are. The point is that today's men find it quite difficult to commit seriously because they are afraid that they will be used in some way and therefore it is easier for them to knock and run. Don't despair, there's still some serious man left for us :)

8
kendraalexandra answered · September 11, 2020

   The author: There is nothing challenging in my clothes and make-up, I forgot to explain this. I try to always look good, it is normal to maintain a person, but I dare say that everything is in moderation for me. My demeanor is also definitely not that of a light girl - I'm even a more closed person in general. Number 4 - Are men 20-25 different? I had a friend a year older - he didn't even know what he wanted. I do not choose what kind of person to meet and who will pay attention to me. To some extent, my environment is like that - I don't have that many contacts with younger people, except at university. You try to call me a materialist and that I categorize all men as missing, but you yourself label 20-year-old girls. Number 5 - Everything is according to the situation and according to the person ... at least for me it happened so that I clearly understand,

9
kiaraleswara answered · September 11, 2020

   What "serious connections", opened a porn site and watch what happens. Nowadays, everything is just sex.

10
tanyacld answered · September 12, 2020

   Up to 4 Not everyone is dispersed, like you ...

11
sudeepkichcha answered · September 12, 2020

   Ooooo, good afternoon, №4, scary complex. And only 25 ... I don't know the girl who wrote this story, but in your damn passive aggression are hidden many of the answers to her questions. Apparently you, the 25-year-old, have absolutely nothing to give to the slightly younger girls than you, which is quite obvious. I'm 22 and for 1 year I went out with 30-year-old men without wanting absolutely any of the things mentioned in your comment :) I guess the situation of the girl is the same - looking for something serious, but only falls for naughty loners (because most men already have one child up to 30). In general, it doesn't matter how old the object is - most of you are the same in your head. And something else you may not know, №4 is, that with EVERY young girl, maybe up to about 25-6 years of age, dealing with older men is a classic, ie everyone goes through it. Our heroine in this case has obviously realized early on that you and your sets (starting from those of her age, up to 29-30) are useless and you are just kids, because you see you are back with the development by nature and has turned to older individuals, but they just fuck her because they are the outcast part of society - they have failed to settle down. Nobody wants your money, nobody wants your cart and your career - they want you to have something in your HEAD, which does not mean to know how to do your job just to sleep, eat and eat, but to be able to THINK . And yet I do not include emotions in the whole activity. The right girls will not pay attention to you with such thinking. So much for that. Now to the author: Yes, one thing may be right №4 is to reduce the age a bit. There should be legible shots and up to 26 for example ... I don't promise, but I'm almost sure there are. Unless they're alcoholics too, aren't they? From so much suffering with me and strict adherence to the famous maxim "When I like someone, he doesn't like me and when they like me and I don't like them", I can only tell you to look at your life and not bother to search. .. Nothing happens with searching and pushing and banging, etc. Watch your life there, you still have a lot to build and grow, believe me you don't know how vast a journey this thing called life is, so ... And I don't know if you know that in order to have a serious relationship you have to take time, attention. These things are hard to find, hard for most to deal with anymore.

12
sweetbabyloveyou answered · September 12, 2020

   Just everyone tries their numbers and where they will go. You just broadcast that you are lonely, or you share it with them and they try to use this information to their advantage Baba Torbalanka

13
graceandsam answered · September 13, 2020

   "to be able to talk to him and in general all normal human relationships." Sex at 21 is the most normal human relationship. In the beginning it is more often, then it will get thinner;) When you turn 41 you will talk more;) Then you will wonder why everyone wants to "just" talk to you;) and you will be angry that you can't return to 21 and flatten the whims in order: P

14
eclipse answered · September 13, 2020

   6, with most thinking "I'll just fuck her and then who's where". And she wants a more serious relationship.

15
almabotxera answered · September 13, 2020

   Who is afraid of bears - do not go to the forest. So do you with relationships. You both want it and you don't feel it. And what's so great about sex? Do you keep it for rainy days? And he's a way to get to know that, if it doesn't work out, what else to think about with that person? It was used ... because you're very precious, right? And don't you use the person, gaining life experience from your relationships, even for 1-2 meetings? Don't you live up to his expectations? It was used ... As long as you are afraid of not passing, you will not have any progress in life. You will always go "disappointed", and others will be bad for you. Even worse - even if someone does something good for you, you will still break it through your prism and declare it unacceptable and aggressive ...

16
0yann0 answered · September 14, 2020

   "What bothers me is that I don't see any serious intentions in any of the men around me." - What is a more serious intention for sex? This is the only goal of men, everything else is a prelude, preparation for achieving it!

17
marthaheredia answered · September 14, 2020

   15, you call first to break 2-3 neighborhoods of cocks, to "get to know" the men around well, and then to judge with whom he wants a serious relationship. Yes, but things don't work that way. After the 20th (for example) number, a person's psyche is distorted and he begins to think whorefully and justify this. Then, even in a serious relationship, when he gets bored, he starts thinking "well, I haven't broken a cock in 2 years, my different one" and then you know the story about the woman and the rust. The people forgave and became consumers. And then you roar on the forums that you are divorcing, but you fell in love with your lover, but the children suffered. And then why the children were killed in aggression, why the nation forgave, why this, why that. From the West, you hung only simplicity, but not good things. You didn't learn to work like in the West, you didn't learn culture and mentality, but look at the whore you learned very well. With that kind of thinking in years to come, you'll wonder even more why society isn't going well. He even left the whore, and the attitude towards your life is consumerist.

18
sofiahil answered · September 14, 2020

   16, is how a girl can distinguish men who just want to have sex a few times and leave, from those who use sex as a "prelude" to serious intentions. Personally, I very much doubt that the second type is just looking for an excuse to have sex and has no serious intentions.

19
jirakitth_c answered · September 15, 2020

   Number 14, a serious relationship has to start somewhere. 99% of relationships start with sexual attraction, we exclude arranged marriages, on account or desperate individuals chasing the last train. In a potential relationship, three checks should be made as early as possible. 1. Not to be psycho. 2. Do we approach each other sexually. 3. Not a drug addict, a gambler, suffering from an incurable disease The sooner they are made, the sooner it will become clear whether the relationship makes sense to start at all. 1. It is obvious why a first meeting is needed. After all, no one wants to be butchered by a Dr. Lecter. If it is difficult to judge at once, a second or third can be made. 2. It is idiotic to date for three months, to waste time, to make plans and to throw resources to the wind to find that his penis is 8 cm in erection and / or 10 cm in circumference. Or that he is impotent. Or that his genitals stink. I don't know, you have an infinite amount of time in this world, are you ready to throw a few months of your life to the wind? 3. Yes, it sounds cruel, but I wouldn't waste time pretending to be a good Samaritan and re-educating people or hoping for a miracle. Sex on the first date, with a person you like, will be the least pleasant physical experience, and if the attraction is strong enough and the beginning of a relationship. Grandpa Torbalan it will be the least pleasant physical experience, and if the attraction is strong enough, the beginning of a relationship. Grandpa Torbalan it will be the least pleasant physical experience, and if the attraction is strong enough, the beginning of a relationship. Grandpa Torbalan

20
tightholeboi20 answered · September 15, 2020

   TO Grandpa Torbalan Yes, your firmans are clear to me. I have read them hundreds of times in the topics. I've told you 100 times - once you think "sex and then we'll see if it gets serious" OK. This is your truth, it is good in your case and has benefited you with your wife blah blah. There how you fucked, and then you fell in love, I don't know what, I've read them 20 times already. But my thought is different. You forget a little detail. Not everyone has your soul and your understandings. The opposite is true for them - sex comes as a consequence of other things, and they do not throw themselves out the door in bed and then think about it. That is why I have a request for you. STOP IMPOSING YOUR STUPID OPINION AND RESPECT THE DIFFERENT UNDERSTANDINGS OF OTHER PEOPLE. That you are already becoming intrusive and banal. Am I clear enough now, limited man? Safe from Bai Ganyovtsi.

21
littlebunnylolo2 answered · September 15, 2020

   Let me just add that recently, about a few months ago, I can't remember exactly, Torbalancho defended the beating of children.

22
vangoghmuseum answered · September 15, 2020

   You are not mistaken in your attitude towards men, but in your attitude towards yourself. Love yourself more, respect yourself and do not compromise with your dignity or choosing a partner. Do not do anything that does not come from within you or with which you do not agree very much, just to please someone or not to offend him - men feel when a woman is confident and loves herself and how much they can or can not afford it. Set clear boundaries - if you do not put yourself first, you can not expect the other person to comply with you and not try to take advantage of your weaknesses.

23
nahomiliu answered · September 16, 2020

   to 20: Why are you tossing from one extreme to the other? They don't have to go out for 3 months to have sex. But they do not need to do it on the first date, unless they know each other before (for example, colleagues at the university, work, general social circle, etc.). I'm talking in case a person is looking for a serious relationship, not just a temporary affair.

24
_dantel answered · September 16, 2020

   Abe, why is hatred towards boys 20-21-22 constantly poured out? Precisely because of this constant insinuation that men of these years are useless, maybe I also misled myself and walked with my head bowed. What the hell do you expect a little man to accomplish in these years? Maybe he's still a student, studying, working or all together. Which comes first, the money, the car, the body, the relationship? How to do it? I can not understand. A 27-year-old man

25
ukraine answered · September 16, 2020

   Number 22, so your polite request was considered and rejected. Number 25, you really don't have to be on the first date, though, why not. However, to build a serious relationship and only then engage in sex is to put the cart in front of the horse. Grandpa Torbalan

26
o.dembele7 answered · September 16, 2020

   I'm the same as you and I've never had a serious relationship. My love life is under full criticism and is a terribly painful topic for me. Not to mention loneliness ... I just have such a radiance, such a look and it's not about the clothes and the look. I don't wear hair, eyelashes, naked clothes, on the contrary I try to hide my body. But unfortunately, until someone looks at me and has already decided that she should sleep with me and that I am the perfect mistress, not a wife. I completely understand how you feel :)

27
hmdude86 answered · September 16, 2020

   Author, tell us what is the relationship between your parents and their attitude towards you? I have the feeling that they were too conservative and controlling ... maybe that's why you approach with established stereotypes and expectations of how exactly things should happen.

28
theedithmassey answered · September 17, 2020

   28, I was interested in what you look like

29
gingerbabeeee answered · September 17, 2020

   What's the problem with men wanting sex from you? That means you are an attractive woman. As they said before me, the relationship has to start somewhere, and the most normal thing is for it to be physical attraction. Find friends to talk to and share with. Men are for sex and material support.

30
isazoei answered · September 17, 2020

   31, did you not yet understand that the problem is when men want ONLY sex and no development?

31
funnysexualx answered · September 17, 2020

   Up to 30,. Appearance does not matter, once you are internally misunderstood and unhappy.Everyone wants to be physically attractive, but in my case at times begins to turn into a complex.No woman would not like to feel used , to be perceived only as a sexual object, without receiving any understanding and support from the man, as well as to listen to conversations only about sex ...

32
funescartagena answered · September 17, 2020

   From number 4 to 11. I appreciate your attempt to express yourself meaningfully, but you do not succeed. When you learn not to contradict yourself, then start expressing opinions. The truth is that you do not know what you want and you will never know. You just think you know. See what a vicious comment you write, then come and explain to me. And on forums like you around 22 years old you are very open live, as you go to have a conversation in the 2nd sentence you do not know what to say. As much as I don't want to, I will put them under a common flag exactly those between 20 and 23/4, because every day I have to communicate with a lot of people and see what it's all about. But once again, I appreciate your pseudo-intelligent attempt to oppose me, and most of all, to make me think. Of those "open" like you, I run with 200. I leave you to those who will put you on the pedestal, and to those who will fuck you without caring. Some will make them laugh, others will do the same to you, and really quality men who are between these two types will go out with women who are worth it. No one will intend to listen to your grumbling and the dramas, the false emotions and the styles you create. At 22 you are my girl, you are not 42, but from your comments I was left with the impression that I am writing to myself with an aging face. It's so fashionable now, isn't it? Call your dad at 30 and don't speak anymore. however, from your comments I was left with the impression that I am writing with an aging face. It's so fashionable now, isn't it? Call your dad at 30 and don't speak anymore. however, from your comments I was left with the impression that I am writing with an aging face. It's so fashionable now, isn't it? Call your dad at 30 and don't speak anymore.

33
hellcatminnie answered · September 18, 2020

   33- "No woman would be happy to feel used, to be perceived only as a sexual object, without receiving any understanding and support from the man, as well as to listen to conversations only about sex ..." And yes I tell you honestly no man is at all ... but he is not at all pleased with the woman to tease him that he wants to be perceived ONLY as a friend, to talk to each other, to share as if he is not her lover, but also a friend -ка. And as long as "the woman is used." You will be used if he makes you take out a loan in your name and spend it, if you cook, wash and clean his house, if you pay his bills, but to make fun of you and complain that he uses you ... but sorry baby . Take it empty the man once or twice, and then if you want talk to him all day about nonsense;)

34
wild_panther2020 answered · September 18, 2020

   To want you sexually is one thing, the trick is to come across a person who wants something more from you, to have a relationship. And that has become hellishly difficult these days. People have become colder and have lower plows, and that's where the problems come from. Everyone wants to be a god in sex, but otherwise they are quite confused and do not know what they want from the opposite sex, or what they can offer. At 30, there are still such confused men. Author, do not give up, the man will always appear for you!

35
zxp999 answered · September 18, 2020

   You probably like good-looking, well-groomed men with perfect behavior, etc. The chance of being players is quite high, because obviously they haven't played this game since yesterday, and they won't finish it tomorrow ... If you want a relationship, hey a tip in two simple steps: 1) start loving yourself normally, with a little makeup and behave naturally 2) look for men who do the same. There is a saying - very good, not good. So lower the criteria a bit for yourself and for the men and you will be surprised by the result ...

36
katherinebisou answered · September 18, 2020

   Forget about men for a while and invest in yourself. Find new hobbies, learn something you have wanted for a long time, go out with friends and also work on your inner world, becoming calmer and wiser. The men will come, the serious ones, when you don't give five bucks for them. Irony, but so in life. You just be happy and calm and look after your things and you will see how at least a few will want to start a serious relationship with you. :)