And can it be a reason for divorce? These questions have been on my mind for a year now. I will try to gather my thoughts and present my problem with a request for advice. We have been together for 12 years. There has always been sex and I've always liked it. In the last year, however, I have realized that I am slowly becoming less and less satisfied. I thought a lot about it and looked for the reasons in myself first. What I found is that really most of the "guilt" is in me. I have always been more active. I was younger, I was aroused even by his arousal, I didn't need any caresses. It happened that I ended up with the penetration itself. I wanted crazy sex, I loved to do mui French and in short, the fact that he writhed with pleasure was enough for me to experience many and strong orgasms. In order not to make him an absolute tree, I want to note that he, at least until a year ago, always wanted to excite me further, ie, with his fingers, with French and in any other way that may come to mind.
Except that I didn't always want to, or, to be more precise, I very rarely agreed. I'm a hell of a shy person by nature, and my quiet horror (even to this day) has always been not to push him away in any way. Although I maintain excellent hygiene, whenever he wanted to make me French, I shivered at the thought that he might smell it, or that he might not like the taste of the secretion and whatnot. Not that it ever happened, did it. It is clear to me that these worries are in the realm of my imagination, but I cannot overcome them. Anyway, these things didn't really matter because, as I wrote, his arousal was the strongest aphrodisiac, and I didn't need anything else. To date, I am 35. In the last year, my sex life has been, to put it mildly, disgusting. I don't know if it's due to age, but I already want a lot more caresses and attention, but I don't get them. In my opinion, this is happening because I "taught" my husband that way. I have tried to talk to him many times, but he is furious and asks me what is the reason for this change. And how come I liked it that way until now, and now I don't like it. I try to explain to him, but he doesn't understand me, or he doesn't want to understand me. I do not know. It's very hard for me because I adore my husband and I always thought that sex is not in the first place in a relationship. I still think so, but that doesn't mean it's the last. But I can't take it anymore. My body wants its own. Ok, the dildo is good too, but it's not human, and a cold silicone. I can't even think about infidelity, I can't lie and hypocrisy, and infidelity leads to just that. On the other hand, however, I can't imagine living without sex - more precisely, living with such sex. Last night was the top! All the time I was thinking about other things, I felt absolutely nothing and I prayed for an hour to end soon. I don't know what to do, dear readers, and I ask for advice. I know there is no recipe for these things, but there may be others who have experienced a similar problem and their experience has been helpful to me. I take all kinds of advice (within reason, of course) because I don't want to ruin my family because of sex. And I only have a problem with him. Thank you in advance! Hermione M.
On the other hand, however, I can't imagine living without sex - more precisely, living with such sex. Last night was the top! All the time I was thinking about other things, I felt absolutely nothing and I prayed for an hour to end soon. I don't know what to do, dear readers, and I ask for advice. I know that there is no recipe for these things, but there may be others who have experienced a similar problem and their experience is useful to me. I take all kinds of advice (within reason, of course) because I don't want to ruin my family because of sex. And I only have a problem with him. Thank you in advance! Hermione M. On the other hand, however, I can't imagine living without sex - more precisely, living with such sex. Last night was the top! All the time I was thinking about other things, I felt absolutely nothing and I prayed for an hour to end soon. I don't know what to do, dear readers, and I ask for advice. I know that there is no recipe for these things, but there may be others who have experienced a similar problem and their experience is useful to me. I take all kinds of advice (within reason, of course) because I don't want to ruin my family because of sex. And I only have a problem with him. Thank you in advance! Hermione M. and please advice. I know there is no recipe for these things, but there may be others who have experienced a similar problem and their experience has been helpful to me. I take all kinds of advice (within reason, of course) because I don't want to ruin my family because of sex. And I only have a problem with him. Thank you in advance! Hermione M. and please advice. I know that there is no recipe for these things, but there may be others who have experienced a similar problem and their experience is useful to me. I take all kinds of advice (within reason, of course) because I don't want to ruin my family because of sex. And I only have a problem with him. Thank you in advance! Hermione M.
Answers 15
Find a young man just for sex we do not refuse cute poop and do not want to have a bond or deepen the relationship. It happened to you early at 35, but the families of about 45 suffocate and stop having sex. Of course, they do not divorce and love each other, but they just get bored sexually.
As it turned out, it will get worse, because your husband will still think that he can no longer satisfy you and this may affect his erection. Men are very sensitive when it comes to their sexual skills. Instead of showing him your dissatisfaction, you better predispose him, and then direct him to the things you want him to do. Don't wait for him to think, because you have to wait ....
When a woman is sexually dissatisfied she falls into very strange states. Sometimes she cries, sometimes she laughs, she is irritable. I had the same problem as you, with a few exceptions, but generally a little sex. My decision was an extramarital affair. Not that I wanted exactly that, but it happened. Why not try to get pleasure from sex yourself using aids. Without your husband knowing naturally.
The mistake is in you. You did not give yourself completely to him. The man loves and wants to wrap his face between the woman's legs, to smell, lick and taste there. This excites the man. As a man, I missed that. Women like you have prejudices about smell and taste. I found another who likes it. And yours did that. Let this freedom be allowed, because you will lose it forever, if it is not already so.
And I, like your husband, can't understand your explanations. He shakes you, and you show indifference, while at the same time claiming more sex. Try to explain again what exactly you want and what is the current sex that does not satisfy you.
Hello and thanks for the comments. Number 1 - we are NOT bored. I'm tired of ME. My husband wants me every day, several times a day precisely because he gets satisfaction without any effort on his part. He just stands there while I play for hours, as they say, with his penis, I run my tongue every millimeter of his body, I determine the poses myself, I string myself, and he literally trembles with pleasure. Until recently, that was enough for me. But it's not anymore. I'm not aroused just by the sight of his arousal and his heavily erect penis. But he's already used to doing nothing and just having fun. The problem is that I don't know how to wean him. Number 2, and I was worried about stressing him, but, believe me - there is no problem with the erection, and muttering on my part is already everyday. Number 3, extramarital affairs may be the solution for me too, but I don't want to get there. Even if I create such a relationship, it does not cancel the sex with my husband in any way. What to do? To simulate an orgasm? I've never done it, and even if I try, I think he'll understand and the situation will get even worse. As for masturbation, as I already wrote, I have and use a dildo, but it does not replace the man in any way. Number 4, you're right, it's my fault. I am aware of it and I am looking for a way to correct myself. I'm glad you found a solution to your problem, but my husband isn't looking for one. Rather, there is no problem to solve. He is satisfied to the max and his self-confidence is high, because until recently one of his looks was enough to drive me crazy. I'm looking for a way to make it more active. Don't just wait for the finished product. Number 5, you're right, as I wrote it, is not very understandable. Sex as a quantity is enough for me. Quality is the problem. Imagine a man sitting in his chair watching TV. His wife enters, in a long T-shirt, under which she is naked. She rides him and starts arousing him - with her hand, with her tongue, in every way. In the end, she strung herself on his penis - sometimes vaginally, sometimes anal. He changes poses and so on until they both finish. The man's involvement comes down to being comfortable. AND NOTHING MORE. I hope you understand me now. And thank you again! E.M. The man's involvement comes down to being comfortable. AND NOTHING MORE. I hope you understand me now. And thank you again! E.M. The man's involvement comes down to being comfortable. AND NOTHING MORE. I hope you understand me now. And thank you again! E.M.
I think number 4 has given you the best explanation in your case, but that doesn't end the problems. Otherwise, it made me think about my relationship. Our sex life is similar to yours. True, there is always an erection, maybe literally every day, even more often, but I'm active, which takes me to get bored. I'm not worried, I would give myself 100% to him, but he can't do French - I don't feel anything practical, he can do it with his hands (already), but only when he's happy, he has a pose (similar to the one described by the author) and that's it. I do all the "work" and that's the end of gymnastics. I used to love giving him blowjobs, but now just if it depended on him we would only drive him. It makes me feel almost guilty if I want sex, while his daily blowjob is a must. He is a terrible traditionalist and does not like to experiment. I do not know, what can I change when we drive it like that for years, and before me I don't believe it was different. I don't want a lover to live masturbation!
From 5. Isn't he tired and therefore prefers those lazy ways you taught him? I don't know how old you are, but if you squeeze it every day, it is likely to prevent you from gaining more sexual energy and appetite. It's like eating barbecue or chocolate every day. As delicious as they are, on the 3rd day it will take you to get up from them. Give him more rest and tell yourself directly that you want to be passive while watching the series. :)
I'll listen to you, number 5. I'll leave it dry for at least a week and see if there's any change. Thank you! E.M.
My husband is conservative and doesn't change, much less about sex. It's always the same since I was 16, but I used to love it and I didn't think how dissatisfied I was. The solution is a lover. You can't last years without a normal orgasm with a man who wants to make you happy. So I finally decided and I'm not sorry, once you live, and although late I realized what sex is.
One week "dry" and again the same! I'm tired of ****** already! In my old age I will have to learn to lie, since it is obvious that the decision is really a lover. E.M.
Any change, author?
... in my opinion, you want to convince yourself that the solution to this so '' big problem '' is a lover ... and that your husband is almost pushing you towards him .... and in fact you are just looking for an excuse in front of yourself for wanting to be with someone else .... you are old enough not to give explanations for what you want or don't want to do ... ZARA
Hello :) I am painfully familiar with these things you are talking about. My ex-husband was very sexually active and we experienced the same emotions you were talking about at the beginning of our relationship. After a while cohabitation began to feel very comfortable in his skin, everything began to repeat itself. He goes home, turns on the TV, has dinner and sex in that order ... And the situation dulls. There were no such emotions and tension that drove me crazy. Basically, I didn't do anything different than before, I tried to give him pleasure in all sorts of ways, but the emotion went away when it became his daily routine, as if he was drinking another glass of beer - he likes it, but it's just beer, something which he deserves ... Men from time to time have a mentality of hunters, that's how I explain it. If you catch them, it's a given. Mechanical sex-like eating, just satisfying a physical need. It didn't work out for me, I'm 32 years old and such a lack of emotion ruined our relationship. There is always a chance, if you hold each other enough, try to go somewhere just the two of you, tell him about your fantasies, allow him things he did not do, you may like it :) Good luck! Eli.
I'm in the same situation, only I'm a man, and that doesn't bother me much. I prefer to be the initiator, but I also want SHE to be a little active in the beginning. I don't complain at all after I start the game, then things settle down, there's reciprocity, but she almost never starts first. As I read the comments, I wonder if it's God's work to have a balance. Let couples boast that they are both active, because I doubt there are those in which neither is. M40