It all started when my husband changed jobs. His infidelities have no end. I tried not to think about it. I looked after my children. Some seemed to have put on dark glasses. I didn't believe this could happen to me. I hid everything in myself. I don't like quarrels, shouts. This went on for 25 years. At one point, everything exploded in me, six months ago. He did it with a young woman in front of me. (Not in the literal sense). We were on a holiday. He only went with her for two days. I couldn't stand it. Quarrels broke out. I told the children the truth about their father. They were shocked. Believe it hurts a lot. From then on, I started not sleeping at night. My tears do not stop. He does not care. He lives peacefully, sleeps peacefully. Is there anyone to help me, is there anyone to give me a hand, who will give me the strength to continue living. It hurts a lot, I don't want a divorce, he brings the money home. Take care of the children. Children do not want to be divorced children. How to get revenge on him. How to make him suffer. It really hurts me. I have no moment of peace. Who will help me. I want to go out to meet people. I'm asking for help.
Answers 12
25 years is a long time .. but you still took a step forward - you took off your dark glasses, you told your children .. now try to take care of yourself - go out for coffee with friends, enroll in a course that to fill your time and not feel alone .. it is best to look around for a man - there are men and women your age who are alone and who need someone next to them .. success
It must be very difficult for you, but you have chosen to be like that yourself - "he brings the money home" sounds like this to me: it is convenient for my husband to support me, to pay the bills, to go on vacation and not to it requires me to deal with difficulties on my own, to look for a better paid job or to work in two places. I'm sorry, but there are women who "tear and cut" if they find out that they live with a serial breaker - they get divorced, they take their lives in their hands, they manage on their own, some of them find a person they are happy with. It seems that your husband is just very comfortable for you - I mean he provides you financially and that's why you don't want to leave him. As for the children, as far as it goes without saying, they should be at least 20 years old. Ask them if they don't want to be the children of divorced parents, if they want to have an unhappy mother.
I completely agree with number 2. How old are your "children"? And why did you change everything for 25 years? That's why he doesn't care. It's your own fault. And you yourself write that you want to be with him for money. You don't want to divorce the money, not him. You read the sentence yourself. And as long as you hide a desire for revenge and malice in your soul, you will not have peace. You will not be able to sleep.
Let me ask you two questions, the site is anonymous and so I hope for answers. 1. Do you love him? 2. What stops you from divorcing him, the children or the money? At least I haven't met a woman who has suffered infidelity for 25 years. I think you should leave it and pay attention to yourself and your children. But let me hear your answers first.
Nobody said that you should get a divorce and the fact that your husband brings you money does not mean that you can't find a job and support yourself. If I were you, I wouldn't be able to afford it and I would leave it a long time ago. according to it is foolish to live with this man.
It is very easy for people who are not in this situation to judge and give reason. I am in the same situation as the author. Believe me, money is to blame for everything. If this man had no money, where would the women who revolved around him be? Do you know what it is like to lose your own self in order for your husband to be free to develop in the profession? I will not go into details, because you have to go through it to understand. For 25 years a family has been building a common home. How to separate yours from his to take it and continue on your own?
I would like to ask a question to the author and number 6: How can a person who "deprives" himself of his own self, who does not know how to value himself and self-respect, expect something like this from the person next to him? In my opinion, only people with a built personality who respect and care about the needs and interests of the person they love can achieve a harmonious relationship. If we are talking about marriage of 20 years or more - this should grow into respect. When you've lived one way all your life, how do you expect things to change at once? This will continue as long as you allow it. Take your life in your hands and live it fully every moment, because it is not measured by the number of breaths, but by the moments that take our breath away.
I'm number 6: Number 7 is made very smart, at the same time infinitely sensual and romantic. In your complete delusion. How old are you? When they turn 25 we can talk. You will probably sing another song.
I know everyone would be against this advice but if you can cheat on it. Talk to him after you don't want a divorce, but divorce won't fix things. Live your life, it's time for you. Don't care about him at all, or tell him emphatically that you've swallowed so far and there will be no forgiveness. LUCK whatever you do is in your right.
I totally agree with number 6: They don't realize that 25 years of marriage started under totalitarianism - education doesn't recognize it, you don't know perfect English, cuts everywhere - it was hell with small children who can't buy food and if give the husband the opportunity (not to close our eyes to the tolerance of men and the lower pay of women for the same position), what should the wife decide? Stay by my skirt, do not go to study abroad and develop we will not stand in the hole. So behind every successful man is a stable woman - this is a common truth - it's good that Hillary, that moldy Bill became president, and in his head only cigars and interns. Well, this is also in Bulgaria. To experience the complex of the Bulgarian and for the women to be alive and healthy in order to raise their children.
Evalla No. 10.
It will hurt him the most if he feels complete indifference on your part. I think so. Concise communication. Find a job. Go out with friends. Do not specify when you will return.