Hello! I am a 27 year old woman. I got married almost a year ago. What provokes me to write here is the choice I have to make. I have been training to be a specialist for several months and everything is going more than well, but I want to become a mother. During and after my training I did not stop developing, I had some difficulties on my way. We have a house, we are financially secure, we live in a quiet place and we are ready to be parents. I feel ready to be a mother, but something in me is holding me back, and it's as if my inner voice is whispering to me to give myself some more time. I don't know what to do! I feel confused as if my heart and mind are fighting inside me. My husband and I had an in-depth conversation on this topic, but we did not reach a full clarification of the situation. According to him, I can handle any situation, including this one, and without a sign whether I will choose to try to develop professionally or give up and give myself to motherhood, he will fully support me. So far, everything looks wonderful. I am terribly grateful for everything I have and for the person next to me. What worries me is which choice is right and the right one for both of us, not just for me. Time passes, I will not be forever at the age of 27, I realize this, but knowing how much work and effort I have put in over the years, it is difficult for me to give up. I don't know this feeling to slow down, is it provoked by my ego or do I really feel inside that everything will be as I always wanted? Lately, I have a feeling that something good is going to happen to me, I guess a lot of you have had a tickling or fluttering of butterflies in your stomach, as in falling in love. I would be very happy to receive some assistance from you to make the right decision. There is an option to postpone motherhood for a year and try to realize myself if things don't work out, I won't postpone motherhood anymore. Thanks to everyone who took the time to read my post and please let it be published!
Answers 9
If you don't feel ready, it's not your time. When I got married, I wanted children immediately, we already have one and we are waiting for the second. In general, if I could, I would wait another year to travel a little, because with children it becomes more difficult. Early parenting is better than late parenting, but before 27 the woman was an adult when it came to children. You still have time.
If you think that 1 year is enough to realize yourself - then wait with the birth to feel satisfied. completely. Motherhood is a difficult period in which you can fall into depression and self-pity, because the first 6 months are the same and it is very painful for him to be used to being among people and in working mode. And if you leave halfway through, it will bother you a lot if you make a mistake. But they are delayed for more than a year. With age come many problems - depleted egg reserves, higher abortions, diseases and more. And once you think about it, that thought will not leave you alone. You will only see babies around you and happy radiant parents ...
Have you worked so far? What do you study? If you are not a doctor and do not have experience, it is much better to start working for at least a year and then go into maternity leave. If you go for an interview at 30 without a day of internship, it would be very difficult to take you. The others have 7-8 years of experience until then. If you have the opportunity and you do not work, do not, but do not "dedicate" only to being a mother, because children grow up and at some point you will hinder them more than help. On the other hand, what will you teach them if you haven't worked? I do not mean technical, but rather social skills - relationships with people, the work that is done, injustice, intrigue, envy. Also, male friends have told me that housewives become like "vegetables" - they only talk about everyday life and in the end their husbands fuck their colleagues at work. Rather, for me, this should be your dilemma. Otherwise, no one is 100% ready for children, but when they make them, they wonder why they didn't make them earlier. Good luck and I'm sorry if I offended you - it's just that the story doesn't make all the details clear.
To "give yourself time" to what? On the way to the office and back home, with the only difference that when you come home you watch TV series instead of watching children?
You have to make the decision yourself, because YOU will live with the consequences of it, not us who read and comment on your topic. Whatever you decide, if you are not happy with the decision, none of us will care - I'm not telling you this badly, it's just the reality.
From the author: We have a family business going great and making good money. While I was a student, I was involved in various projects and that made me happy. Now that I've gotten married, it's as if my husband has changed a bit, I feel dependent on him and somehow I don't like that. Don't get me wrong just if I want to grow as if I'm being hinted that this can only happen if it's related to the family business. At the moment I have not been influenced by this and I drive a training related to my specialty, namely social activities, psychology and psychotherapy. For me, these things are very useful and useful for society and I think I have something to contribute to alleviate some problems of the human personality as a whole. My intentions for realization in this direction are fully stimulated by years of hard work with people of all ages, gender or ethnicity. I have experience in caring for young children, I took such care of my nephew when he lived at home. I could handle it, but my heart tells me to try to give myself at least another year, and this feeling of an upcoming good event doesn't leave me for a moment, and if I'm wrong, I'll at least try instead of wondering every time I wake up. it would be my life if I risked following my heart. I have made many mistakes and out of fear of Anne I risk betting for sure I have missed many opportunities and not only those related to work. Each of you is very right and I am very grateful to you for every row of Balkans from you. Believe it or not, you help me at least not to lose heart and keep looking for the answer that is somewhere deep inside me. when he lived at home. I could handle it, but my heart tells me to try to give myself at least another year, and this feeling of an upcoming good event doesn't leave me for a moment, and if I'm wrong, I'll at least try instead of wondering every time I wake up. it would be my life if I risked following my heart. I have made many mistakes and out of fear of Anne I risk betting for sure I have missed many opportunities and not only those related to work. Each of you is very right and I am very grateful to you for every row of Balkans from you. Believe it or not, you help me at least not to lose heart and keep looking for the answer that is somewhere deep inside me. when he lived at home. I could handle it, but my heart tells me to try to give myself at least another year, and this feeling of an upcoming good event doesn't leave me for a moment, and if I'm wrong, I'll at least try instead of wondering every time I wake up. it would be my life if I risked following my heart. I have made many mistakes and out of fear of Anne I risk betting for sure I have missed many opportunities and not only those related to work. Each of you is very right and I am very grateful to you for every row of Balkans from you. Believe it or not, you help me at least not to lose heart and keep looking for the answer that is somewhere deep inside me. I could handle it, but my heart tells me to try to give myself at least another year, and this feeling of an upcoming good event doesn't leave me for a moment, and if I'm wrong, I'll at least try instead of wondering every time I wake up. it would be my life if I risked following my heart. I have made many mistakes and out of fear of Anne I risk betting for sure I have missed many opportunities and not only those related to work. Each of you is very right and I am very grateful to you for every row of Balkans from you. Believe it or not, you help me at least not to lose heart and keep looking for the answer that is somewhere deep inside me. I could handle it, but my heart tells me to try to give myself at least another year, and this feeling of an upcoming good event doesn't leave me for a moment, and if I'm wrong, I'll at least try instead of wondering every time I wake up. it would be my life if I risked following my heart. I have made many mistakes and out of fear of Anne I risk betting for sure I have missed many opportunities and not only those related to work. Each of you is very right and I am very grateful to you for every row of Balkans from you. Believe it or not, you help me at least not to lose heart and keep looking for the answer that is somewhere deep inside me. I have made many mistakes and out of fear of Anne I risk betting for sure I have missed many opportunities and not only those related to work. Each of you is very right and I am very grateful to you for every row of Balkans from you. Believe it or not, you help me at least not to lose heart and keep looking for the answer that is somewhere deep inside me. I have made many mistakes and out of fear of Anne I risk betting for sure I have missed many opportunities and not only those related to work. Each of you is very right and I am very grateful to you for every row of Balkans from you. Believe it or not, you help me at least not to lose heart and keep looking for the answer that is somewhere deep inside me.
You don't know what you want, you have a loved one by your side, money is not everything you know that you will get pregnant immediately, you are already 27, the older you get, the harder it will be for you.
You have to want it. I postponed it until I was 27, then I got pregnant, I gave birth at 28, and now I have a child of almost two years and we are very nice together. But I was sure I was ready and the time had come. For me, the career is not important, but the family, but I still waited for years to fix properties and to have experience in a secure job.
Well, you have already decided! Read the last sentence!