Help me understand if the problem is in me or is it the case with every relationship? I have been in a relationship with the man next to me for many years. In the beginning we had very frequent contacts, but over time they decreased. Probably normal. Lately, I've completely lost the desire to be with him. Every time he approaches me I don't feel anything. I'm just praying he passes me by and doesn't tease me. Even if I grit my teeth and try, he just "cuts" me. By that I mean rude, clumsy, fast. He mixes me under my underwear and immediately presses me with his hand and rubs, but I don't like how hard he presses and even pulls my skin on the clitoris up, exposes it and hurts me. It's just a struggle not to touch me like I don't like. I tried to tell him, but he made a scandal that I criticized him and he never corrected himself. I've said it a few times, but it keeps touching me so clumsily. I explained to him that I would like it much more if he only touched me lightly with his finger and stroked it, he didn't have to crush, rub, be rough. Separately, no matter how much I wash, the bottom always smells to me (it is not cut). I notice that when he bathes, he only lets the water flow on top, or if he washes it at all, he has a shower gel from the sponge, with which he washes the rest of his body and gently pulls the skin back. Along with all this comes aggression, a restriction on his part. Just to do something he doesn't like, say cooked or if I drop something on the ground, etc., he aggressively squeezes my jaw, makes a rude remark and controls me. If I pick up the phone and retire and do something like read something or other, he makes him talk to me about some trivial things in order to get his attention, and if I dig into the phone at the same time, he starts blaming me, that I have "my phone". I don't know why that happened. Did I look around and I don't like him anymore or did he make me dislike him over the years. I started looking at pictures of other men, but not real ones, but different actors and I think sometimes, this one is beautiful and I like it, but why don't I feel this towards the man next to me !? This is the first time this has happened to me. When I think of him, things like poor intimate hygiene, constant drinking every night and bad breath, grumbling about everything, nagging and clenching my jaw in moments of anger, constantly spitting at people and discussing, come to mind. he never smiles and is not positive, and when it comes to intimate contacts he is rude and clumsy and I don't like him, he wanted us to finish faster. Even if I was in love and with some super handsome man, would we have the same romance and attraction in 10 years, for example? Is it normal for the years to fade away and for respect and love to remain only ...
Answers 12
Hello. I don't know how old you are, but no, it's not normal. I will personally whip you very quickly in your place. It is possible that in years to come there will be respect and understanding ... but I do not see it here. He yells at your man for the slightest thing, otherwise he expects you to give him a blowjob when you see that he hasn't washed like people, right? He did it to him as he likes "no", who knows how he will react. A person who doesn't take notes or yells at you for missing something ... is not for you. It's a big deal that you missed something, but it happens. Eating is the same, fouls happen. There are no ideal people. I don't know, but I think you deserve a normal partner and I don't think you feel good about it anymore. And I think once you think about how it would be with someone else, it's time to change things. I hope you find the best solution for yourself, just think about what you want and what you don't and you will reach the solution :) You deserve more. And the world does not end with one man. I was like that too, but in the beginning I ended the relationship, I just ... I can't be with someone who doesn't think about me and doesn't correct after remarks. I'm just like that. Regards, F32.
Well, what respect and love for such a Neanderthal. I even felt sorry for you when I read it. Why are you standing with him? Do you have children? Does he support you? His behavior is disgusting, leave him until he starts beating you or worse. How will you like it when it doesn't get better and is so rude? And he doesn't understand a word ... run an hour sooner or start with scandals about the things you don't like, otherwise he won't understand.
The way you describe the incident, one would think that he is to blame ...
I just didn't understand why you were dealing with this shepherd? You're probably ugly and you don't think you have much choice.
"I've had a relationship with the man next to me for many years." -If you don't have children, end the relationship, that's how you both struggle!
The thrill is not eternal, especially if it is not taken care of. Every relationship has downsides and every relationship has weak points in intimate terms. BUT, yours doesn't happen in every relationship and it's not normal. It is not normal for your partner to push you away on every paragraph and it is not normal for him to continue to be rude if you are in pain and do not like him.
In principle, this is also the case in my relationship. For 5 years together there are many things in it that irritate me. He's messy, annoys me when he sleeps in the afternoon like a grandmother, how he gets sick when he catches a cold, how he eats his breakfast slowly and prevents me from hearing the news, how everything is waiting for me and never throws the garbage, doesn't lift his plate from the table , leaves circles of sweaty glasses on the table .. Countless things. In the evening it prevents me from sleeping because they come to my half of the bed and actually from a 2 meter bed I sleep 1 cm from the edge because of it .. In sex there is also something to be desired, he wants to respond immediately, mixes in his pajamas and grabs he grabs, twists my nipples as if he wants to hear the radio in Tokyo. Sometimes tactical remarks help. The truth is that no one is perfect, I am petty, touchy, irritable. Everyone has flaws. Look for the positive in him. Try explaining to him what you don't like. And the most skilled lover at home probably does not wash his feet and does not clean the toilet. The grass opposite is always greener, but the reality is different. Of course, if you can't stand him at all, maybe he's not your man. Measure twice and cut once. Success!
I tell my husband directly what I don't like. I never wait for it to accumulate if I have to wash it, walk a few times, if he tells me and I go. So that there are no problems at the moment, I am fighting and defending mine. When he is grumbling or capricious, I remind him, the interesting thing is that he listens. Maybe our friend has always been what he is, but you were in love and blinded.
Apparently this is the case with most. When the thrill disappears, everything starts to irritate. The solution - separation or secret life :(
"Is it normal for respect and love to fade away over the years and remain only ..." - Personally, I do not see any respect or love from him or from you. You do not say how old you are, in general you have not given enough information to get a more accurate picture of the situation. Otherwise, in general, if you don't like your husband, just break up with him! Or do circumstances not allow it? !! Obviously you are not happy, you do not mention marriage and children, obviously you are not for each other and everyone has to go their own way. You do not have to get used to these negative qualities and things that you have listed and live unhappily, because "a man does what he does to himself, no one else can do to him." The Little Donut
Did this log from any village pick it up? It is only natural for me that with such a long-term attitude your desire passes ... no one likes to be unpleasant. On the contrary - over time, people should stick together, study each other, their peculiarities, and at least not get annoyed. If you don't have children - run away from him! It will never get better - it will only get worse over time. And your children will look like him, which will come "a little" more ...
Congratulations! I am sincerely glad for you that you have finally seen the true nature of the man next to you. I highly recommend that you read a book secretly from him - "Manipulators - Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People" by George Simon. It will help you become aware. In short - the problem is not in you, it is not because of the long relationship! The man next to you is selfish and manipulative and probably an emotional abuser. I don't believe he is capable of love. I wish you strength and luck!