Hello. I have been a married man for almost 13 years. I have always known that my wife from time to time likes to be alone and indulge herself. But I soon found out that he does it a lot more often than I thought, and that pretty much hurt my masculine dignity. (at least once a week). I have always tried to and give pleasure and I knew that she had never had an orgasm with men with whom she had been before. According to her, the problem is not only in me but in herself. Years ago I bought a vibrator to use together for longer experiences and if it can come to an end. We experimented a lot and there was no result. From the beginning, he didn't want us to use the vibrator as often as I wanted. At one point I discovered how she could finally get an orgasm. While we are in the bathroom together, I am with the vibrator in my hand and at the same time she has directed the shower jet between her legs. So he has a really strong orgasm for the first time in his life. The problem for me is that I realized that she already does it at least once a week on her own if I'm at work and I don't have time because I work sometime and late at night. Please help me with advice on what to do. I talked to him and he told me that the reason he did it was that he wanted to get to know his body. I'm not selfish and I'm glad we found a way to please her and not only me, but I'm tormented by the fact that she can't relax in front of me at all and caress and masturbate while I watch her. She tells me she is SHAME to do it in front of me. At the risk of being ridiculed by everyone on the site, I am posting this topic and I hope for your help.
Answers 50
Emmy brother, to tell you the truth, I'm not going to read your story because I'm bored now! : D But I will answer the question in your title. Everyone has the right to be satisfied as he wants and if he wants. The bodies belong to the women and if they want, they will be touched. This is my opinion. : Д
.... Because unmarried people also masturbate ... Yes, I have your problems .... Most women masturbate from the age of 11 and even before that. When you get married, you don't become another person. Learn to accept your wife as she is. You have married such a woman, you will have such a woman! Otherwise ... everyone is different. I personally masturbate when one of us is on a business trip, so to speak, because I'm used to having regular sex with my husband. Not bad. The important thing is not to hide as a criminal for such a natural thing. Let your wife do what she wants - her body is hers!
Big deal. If you can't give her enough time, it makes perfect sense for her to enjoy herself. And experiment, you will always find new ways, and she will relax.
I don't see anything wrong with what he's doing. however, do not cheat on you. and I don't think the problem is with you. I think she's really ashamed of you, even though you're her husband. and I'm ashamed to masturbate in front of my friend, but otherwise sex with him is good. so be calm, you have nothing to worry about.
Oh, safe from your masculine ego and dignity. Sakun, don't let a woman get pleasure that is not related to you. We have a lot of ways to have fun without a man, so accept that. Take grow up. By that logic, I should ask then what family men watch porn, what they yell at other women and so on.
Better that way than being nervous. And usually women are jealous of porn and the like, he thought. It is more important to remember that it is not written "I thought of me", because you did not think of yourself, but "we thought".
With oral GENTLE sex - on the clitoris with the tongue and / or she can put up with you looking for her g-spot, do you try a gentle erotic massage? There are many movies on the subject on the Internet (looking for training, not porn, the Lover's guide series, for example) SOME things work for SOME women ... there are sexologists if nothing helps, and psychologists if the problem is deeper, but I doubt she will wind up to go. Good luck, brother!
ALL WOMEN MASTURBATE! DO NOT WORRY! The problem, however, is that she is ashamed of you. I'm not ashamed to do what I like in front of my boyfriend and tell him what gives me pleasure - this is the key to amazing sex. Talk calmly with her, don't press her, let her slowly share what she likes without being ashamed, you can give her "direction" by sharing some of your fantasies that you want to realize. It's great that you take this seriously, your wife is lucky! Good luck:)
Well, since they are not there, for example, but it is played on, why not play alone? !! is there something inhuman ????
From the Author: The main problem is not that he masturbates, but that I think he does it too often. Thank you for all the comments.
In response to the title, I say right away because they lack sex! In response to the story below, I see nothing that has violated your masculine dignity. Your wife has answered - she wants to know her own body. What is there to dig and analyze ...
As if family men don't make a chika, don't create one where you don't have problems. Rejoice that he is not cheating on you with another man.
Once a week is too often? Are you serious? Your author amazed me, honestly. I do it at least 3 times a week. when alone, when in front of my husband, but I do it. Now on your topic, they do it because we experience a different kind of pleasure in a self-union way. But she doesn't think it's normal for her to be ashamed of you. If you want my honest opinion, do it in front of her, it can make her relax. Otherwise, don't work so hard and don't look for a calf under the ox. Good luck and write what happened. Magicians
We with women masturbate in front of each other and we have fun !!! Then we have sex. It's even better for her because once I'm done, I fuck her for about two hours. She is very happy))) Then I lick her and we masturbate in front of each other again. It is supreme !!! M 47 F40
It's not often, man! And once a day is okay, as a woman I tell you. And yours does it even rarely (you wrote once a week, as far as I understand) which means that everything is fine, it's not scary.
Aren't you masturbating? ))) Oh children, we all do it, men and women, what we do while our hearts beat)))
Congratulations to Magi !!! She told him exactly. HELLO MAGICS DESPITE THE 7 HOUR DIFFERENCE !!!
You are not the sun, to shine everywhere was a man. Leave her alone with her lonely toys. You go to work, you come back rotten, you're out of shape, you've been crushed at work all day, you're depressed. Even our ancestors said: "Worried x ... she can't ...." Under anxious understand - stressed, crushed psyche, physical fatigue and much more. And this includes not only elementary sex but all other spicy things. Look at it from the good side, if it loves the soul - it will smell clean!
From the Author: I made a mistake by not saying that I am one of those men who are ready to have sex with their partners all the time. That's probably why I'm so sick that women do it so often and prefer to have sex with me.
I join the others - there is nothing disturbing or abnormal. To relax in front of you you have to talk openly, share fantasies, watch porn together if you like, try something new - French, G-spot, anal, dirty talk, and why not double penetration with the vibrator - all it will unlock somewhere, even if you are uncomfortable at first - then you will relax. The good news is that once you reach orgasm in some way, your fears drop and then it gets easier and easier. So was my wife. Remember that sex is more in the head than between the legs. And in general, don't make the fly an elephant - sex is common and satisfying enough together - you're just starting to get your sexuality. There are worse cases - mine is OK 3 times a month, for me not, he even wants us to give back? !! For you it is only a matter of practice and development. Success!
The author of the question to think about the question whether there are problems on an emotional and communicative level with his wife? If the answer is no, there is no reason to worry.
Do you do it with a penny or a banknote? : X
Women masturbate quite often without even being ashamed, nor do I mind. She even turns me on just looking at her. She is already 29 and we have a child who has grown up and is six years old and that stops her from doing it more often. I've seen her do it everywhere before. In the bathroom in the kitchen without bothering with the fact that he enjoys it. There are seven vibrators and they are very different. The last one I gave her as a gift for Valentine's Day, and IT IS A LARGE SIZE. It's normal for me to do it in front of her, because she enjoys it too. She did it while driving the car and it's great to watch her touch her writing under the skirt or walk without slings on short skirts and have something given by me between my thighs. Then we break away from sex just by imagining how he takes pleasure with his fingers or the vibrator.
21, with these advice, which you give to the author, if he listens to you and assumes that he calms down, because * he cannot shine everywhere and is worried, crushed, etc. *, he will quickly settle with a pair of horns. Author, have you ever thought that even though you often have sex with her, she may remain dissatisfied? And does she like sex? I had a boyfriend before I got married - and he was constantly having sex, it was quite often, but I felt after that, as if nothing had happened. So talk to her and see if that's the reason.
The author of the question, as I guessed the question is on an emotional level. In particular - the question of responsibility between you or, more precisely, that the author of the question has more responsibility than the other half in this regard, and this is the reason for the topic of this conversation. Unfortunately, my prognosis is not favorable.
Leave the woman alone and stop rummaging and chewing. Stop watching as a detective when she managed to have an orgasm and when she didn't, because you're just taking her away from you and putting psychological barriers in her place instead of relaxing in sex. I'm sure she's already simulating an orgasm just to be happy, and she can't wait to be alone so she can really get it. Now you are not happy about that either. His self-esteem was damaged. Are you Normal? You will really break her when she stops masturbating. Then it will shorten your life from nerves, and you will see quality sex through crooked pasta. See then the neighbor can shine it. M30
In long marriages, this is normal. If your wife is already over 35, hormones also enter the "problem". By 42-45 the desire for sex will increase fivefold, this is normal. It has nothing to do with you. Rejoice that you have the opportunity to do it together and be angry that she was ashamed, you are probably from another generation, then things were different. A person needs solitude, I believe that you sometimes masturbate when you are alone and a 20-year-old has touched you on the street, figuratively speaking. These are normal things, don't think about them.
Those who like to watch them masturbate and caress, as you say, are in porn movies, brother. Leave the woman alone, so you suffocate her. Give me air. Not every woman is an exhibitionist by nature. Many men do not like to masturbate in front of their wives too and what of it?
From the Author: I talked to women on this topic. Although it didn't make much sense, we said almost nothing to each other. But perhaps the best thing we agreed on was that he would try not to be ashamed anymore. After her speech, I went and bought a new vibrator with a bunny. Now I can't wait to go home and play together.
The topic is very important and I would say serious. I want to turn to the author and not to listen to the opinion of readers because with all due respect to them, but here we are talking about feelings and relationships on which the course of a relationship and the future of a family may depend. I myself found that my wife masturbated almost every night. He told me that he has been doing it since puberty and that it has played a bad role in the perception of the other person as well. I am tolerant and it is not about the male ego, but about my concern about the lack of fullness in our intimate relationships as a result!
Who wants to tell me anything, if one of them gets to masturbate alone, something is wrong!
Well, I'm a woman and I also sometimes give myself pleasure. What's wrong with that? And yes, I really want to get to know my body so that I can tell my husband what I like and what I don't. Besides, for me, and maybe for your wife, once a week is not enough, and she doesn't want to rape you in the evening when you are tired and not in the mood. So it's better to masturbate than to catch a lover. And it can even make your relationship even hotter, because it will get to know your body and teach you how to get it to heaven ... I don't know what you're so worried about? You didn't catch her with a lover! What are you jealous of? From the vibrator?
I am a woman, married and also satisfied and the reason is one: I can not reach orgasm with my husband. Not that I'm not good with him, I'm good, of course, in sex between the two there is intimacy, caresses that you can not get them alone, but this orgasm, which relieves me, as if I'm a steam locomotive, which is I let go of the steam, I only achieve it on my own. With you, however, there is a difference that should be in favor of your wife. you buy her vibrators and you want to use them in sex. If I tell my husband I want a vibrator, he will get angry with me and nothing will happen. that's why I do it myself and I reach orgasm.
Why your wife does it, I don't know, but I do it because I'm a "desperate wife"! My husband hasn't wanted me for months, and if I don't, I'll either go crazy or get a lover. However, somehow I don't want to, not that I won't get there one day, for sure, but I still hope that this "asexual" marriage has some chance.
Masturbation and sex have nothing in common. A person who does not masturbate and does not know his body and its desires, can not fully immerse himself in the act, and experience it fully. The smart woman masturbates, gets to know her body, and then imperceptibly (if the partner is complex) or directly (if the partner is a dude) directs the act - what, where and how to happen ... And this once a week ... straight I don't know how to comment on it. There are women who masturbate daily. Normally, full-blooded women who do NOT lack sex, but do not stop studying and enjoying themselves in all known ways. And look for strangers. F, 40
They masturbate because nothing can replace masturbation.
Answered quite comprehensively to the author, so I will allow myself to give a slightly different focus: do you refuse sex to your partner after you have taken care of yourself?
№ I am 36. I do not refuse in any case, sex is sex, even if I do not reach orgasm. To № 38: how to unobtrusively direct my husband (because he is complex) to what I want. I hint to him several times that I want him to satisfy me with his hand, because I get so aroused, I even go crazy when he touches me with his fingers and I know I would finish, but he can't wait, he quickly stops doing it and goes to the real thing. part. I once told him: put your whole hand in, and he yells at me: a-a-a, what if I hurt you and stop. And I long so much for that. That's why I masturbate, but I know that if he satisfies me, it will be much better, because it's one thing to touch yourself, it's another for other fingers to touch you. On the other hand, I think, though, that masturbating still hurts sex between two people because you get used to it,
It's different for me - the woman makes me touch her clitoris. "When the time was right, she masturbated alone ..."
Hello Friend. My wife and I started relaxing (really relaxing) after ten years of marriage and two children. Love the one next to you, and everything else will be OK. Did you hear? Love her and stop complaining about her. Do you understand English? Listen to the words of this song .. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hq2KgzKETBw&feature=kp
My wife also masturbates from time to time. But she didn't do it in front of me, unfortunately, she was ashamed. I regularly masturbate in front of her. She told me she did it with a cucumber or a zucchini, which she put in a condom. If you have regular sex with your wife, what worries you is that she hits herself with a "knife"! Hit yourself too!
I do it because only I know exactly how to touch my intimate places - the force of pressure, movement and other subtleties ... how to indulge my fantasies and make myself feel good. And what now - should I expect to pass it on to my husband to do it to me - right? What's the point of being jealous of my hands? And how can I explain all this to my husband, for whom the love game is just a waste of time. By male logic, it's important to get it inside faster. But no, if he doesn't make you tingle, if he doesn't arouse you enough before and make you die of pleasure and desire, what if he put it in me. All this a man can hardly clearly understand .... Sex with my husband is sex, and the other is a nice addition that is for me at a convenient time and way for me. I don't have to deal with that either.
The question is not about insertion, if a man knows how to predispose a woman, gently kiss her on the neck, then the ear goes down to the nipples, when they are stimulated, women begin to get aroused, gradually move to the abdomen and to go down, first stimulating the area around the clitoris, never directly on it from the very beginning, when the woman is already aroused, the direct stimulation of the clitoris is passed, its stimulation with the tongue brings ecstasy to most women, at the same time it stimulates and the so-called G-spot, with the index finger and the middle finger the point is felt inside, which is like a nipple, which after stimulation swells and leads to the vaginal orgasm so coveted by all women. All this has been tried by me personally and so far there is no woman who has not reached the end,
I haven't read all the comments, but I think that since your wife does it, she likes it, I'm also married and I masturbate, there's nothing wrong with that. To make her reach a real orgasm, I think you should try to look into her and know her weaknesses, once you know these things, do not just have sex with her, but love, violent and passionate and the results. will be on the face, in my opinion
That's right n48. does not rest on insertion. And to master the arousal of a woman. To be a good lover - to love her well, with kisses, touches, etc. But honestly how many men work hard to arouse their wives well - where out of ignorance, where out of reluctance, some out of laziness or haste ... all it's more important for them to get it in and hurry ... And it's so nice to spend more time on everything you've written ... to feel wanted. from n47
However, there are women who brag that their husbands do well in bed, satisfy them and still resort to masturbation, when asked why they do it, they answer - I just do it as a habit.
In a long-term relationship, frequent masturbation speaks of a problem. Getting to know the body - yes, but up to 20-25 years of age maximum. Until this age, it seems to me that every woman is aware of her body. What is this acquaintance of 30 - 40 years! Come on! The key to the shed is elsewhere in two words ... g 45
Preserved habits from the times when they were unmarried
Now I will answer your question, why is she doing it ... Because she is NOT SATISFIED, maybe she is not having an orgasm with you. Work on making her experience a real orgasm while she's with you. This is very important for a complete slide! F 28
Hello. I am a woman of 31. At the age of 26 with my fiancé I experienced the first horrors of sex. first that it was not hard and then terrible pain. no matter how much I told him, he kept telling himself that he was in a hurry and didn't lick or kiss me on the chest, and the caresses down there made me scratch. I endured his rapes for 1 year. Man, understand that in order to arouse a woman, you must act, not her! Watch videos about the female point, the clitoris, kiss her, caress her with a feather, breathe fast. Make her push like she's giving birth. I finish faster that way. I ended up alone once in the bathroom. It all comes from the fact that we are not satisfied. The woman needs to be before the clitoris is finished and then to penetrate. Not to mention that some men are so wooden and rude and think that when they finish their wives are happy. Do you know the consequences of not finishing? Diseases of the pelvis and uterus. If you can't finish, take the vibrator and continue with it or with your hands. like me, she probably doesn't want to bother you and hurt your big ego terribly that you don't satisfy her. because if you got married at the age of 20, for example, and you don't have girlfriends before, how will you learn? Like her, I felt pain after sex, not desire, and I once told him that she would not drive her crazy, I started masturbating, he turned his back on me and looked at me sternly. as if he were my master. I told him that if he couldn't fulfill his obligations, so could I! Nothing happened for 3 months and I broke up. Another issue is that it becomes a habit and some kind of addiction - I have acquaintances who say that they masturbate in front of their children while they sleep and this says that it is nymphomania and it becomes terribly unethical. don't let women get there. I'm right that it's best to do what we know, you don't have to make men angry with us in the least, especially when you don't get up! M 31