Hello, the topic of infidelity will be eternal. Whatever we write will not disappear. We will not be able to change the worldview of the adulterers, because everyone else is to blame for them and does not have the courage to go out in front of the world and say: I am a whore or a whore and one partner is not enough for me. "Infidelity will always be relevant because of psychological A phenomenon that hides in itself the eternal clash between the moral and the immoral in man. However, in our modern society there is a category of married couples who deserve respect for their honesty to each other. These are swingers. Here I do not stop commenting on the moral side of swinging as a phenomenon. On the site I was especially moved by the story of a woman who says that she participates in swinger couples, reluctantly, just because she loves her husband madly, who is hyper sexual and prefers to do it together than to hide and go out with other women behind her back. A matter of choice and mutual consent. There are also married couples who have an open marriage and do not bully, but continue to live together and move forward. Here again, everything happens by mutual consent and free will between the partners. It is not a shame for two families to fall in love, but to have the courage to go out in front of the world and say we love each other and we cannot live without each other. No matter how much they hurt their partner, they deserve respect for their honesty with him and their willingness to take on the consequences of this relationship. Finally, we come to our people, the so-called mice. Well, they fuck outside and continue to live with their halves, no matter how much they hate them. However, they are very well aware that that their halves are monogamous and their quality tray suits them very well. If it didn't suit them, they would easily become swingers or connect with a partner in a free marriage.
I divorced seven years ago because of my ex's systematic infidelity. Here I must emphasize that while we were boyfriends I had not noticed this quality. It all started after the birth of the child. In the beginning, whatever you hear, you don't believe, you just don't want it to be that way. You talk to him, he denies it. I'm not his guard to watch him. I count on an honest word. However, the glass overflowed when I realized that he had fucked mother and daughter separately. The mother of 54, the daughter of 30 and both married from a familiar family. This is the icing on the cake. The man simply did not restrain himself and boasted about this feat. I call him how long you will lie to me and I will close my eyes and pretend to believe you. We have a little daughter who grows up, what kind of example do you give? What are you unhappy about? Am I ugly, am I fat, am I frigid? How do I retaliate? The answer was "nothing." I ask him why you are staying with me, it is not for me to clean and cook for you, you can do it yourself. The answer shocked me: "Why aren't you a whore. And, I tell him, thank you for the high grade, and the fact that you systematically humiliate me by sleeping with others means nothing to you, right? My three-year-old and I divorced.
I left him at first, after the divorce he remembered us, but two years later he completely forgot about us. I don't even look for him. Everything is based on conscience. I understand him, the whore consumes time and money and takes energy, especially when you are Life has met me with a unique good being who has walked my path only on the other side, on the man's side. providing everything to his beloved wife and finally catching her quite by accident, returning early from a business trip to their own apartment with his best friend, also married. And all this three years after his marriage. To his question: why? His wife replied: "Sometimes there are moments in a woman's life that cannot be explained." Anyway, he's divorced. They had no children. Have you tried, but it has not worked. Circumstances introduced us. It just so happened. He was not set up for a new relationship at all, his trust in women tended to zero. Nevertheless, he exuded such purity and straightforwardness that it was impossible for me not to fall in love with this man. I did not press him, nor did I force myself. Sam convinced himself that not all women are the same. When we lived together, his ex did everything possible to separate us. Talk to me first if I left him.
He threatened me with magic. I also replied that he is a great man and can make his own decisions. Then intrigues began, stories about me - she is divorced with a child, she will take his money, if she was so decent she will not divorce. Including attempts to seduce him. And all this for his good. She also sent him a love letter at the end. However, he did not bend. I got pregnant expecting a child together. My daughter accepts him as her father and he as her child. I didn't even insist on getting married. However, he held and we made a modest celebration. What can I tell you, is it so difficult for a person to be honest with himself first, and then with others, and not to come to such difficult moments of divisions, from which everyone suffers. I wish all those divorced in one way or another not to despair, but to know that somewhere there awaits them another human being who truly loves them. I just shared a part of my life.
Answers 14
I'm glad for you, but few women are lucky. In Bulgaria, being divorced with a child / children means a stigma and men run away from a serious relationship - so as not to get materially or in any way, with foreign children. Maybe they're right, I don't know. In other countries, people are more broad-minded, at least that's my impression. After all, everyone has the freedom to make choices and there is no "right" and no "right". I mean, you want justice, but it doesn't exist. Everyone is doing as well as they can, some are lucky, others are not and that's it.
Because some, contrary to any logic, believe that they are doing the right thing. They settle with monogamous people to create an image of faithful and responsible and most of all serious. If they are with such a person, they are calm that he will be faithful to them, that he will not run away, that he is tied in a towel. Otherwise, if they are like themselves, they have no security.
I'm not a cheater, but I guess no one marries with the thought, "I'm going to get married now, I'm going to cheat on myself secretly," and that's just what happens next. I'm not saying they're right.
Abe complains well, but do you know yourself or at least most of the young women? In their youth, they were interested in men who were clearly listed among women. If someone is free - then he has something. If he has a girlfriend or has had one until recently and they know everything - oh, it's like for me. Whore? No, he's a great man. You select them according to such criteria and then a howl begins why he cheated. Well, when you are looking for a fucker in your youth, why do you imagine that he will continue to be a fucker for you and forget about others? Impossible Mission. If you want women to envy you for your man, you will have to close your eyes. If you have a lot of pretensions, you catch someone that no one wants and you are calm that it is only yours. Which doesn't mean that he deliberately doesn't want to cheat on you - he just can't and that's why he's only with you.
And do you know how many women forget that they are women after the birth of a child. The man is in the background and things are escalating. You know how many women are the initiators of the child sleeping between the parents and how often the woman sleeps with the child and the man on the sofa in the living room. How to maintain such a marriage. Not at all. In Bulgaria, the relationship between a man and a woman is very distorted. There is still a debate about whether or not a man should attend the birth, whether the family is supported or partially supported by the parents. In general, an absurd relationship. So how can the marriage be stable. Families need to be united and fight for their happiness and survival, to help each other and to cancel each other in different situations. When a man is with his wife, when he gives life to his child, tomorrow he will be much more understanding and responsible. When these same two family builders grew up in an environment where parents live in alienation and often only because of the children, tomorrow how to be happy and together for a long time, when they did not have independence and did not live alone took responsibility for cooking, cleaning, taking care of money. One such sweetheart from my environment broke up. First they can't handle the family budget and the money for a week and they are gone, the mother, the mother-in-law come to clean because they can't handle it, they look after the child because they can't see themselves and they have a child, absurd at all situation. This is the reality. Marriage is maintained, parents should not interfere and share everything. Being with your baby at night is ok, but sleeping with your grown child or children is not right for either the couple or the children and this is the mass model. tomorrow how to be happy and together for a long time, when they did not have independence and did not live alone, took responsibility for cooking, cleaning, taking care of money. One such sweetheart from my environment broke up. First they can't handle the family budget and the money for a week and they are gone, the mother, the mother-in-law come to clean because they can't handle it, they look after the child because they can't see themselves and they have a child, absurd at all situation. This is the reality. Marriage is maintained, parents should not interfere and share everything. Being with your baby at night is ok, but sleeping with your grown child or children is not right for either the couple or the children and this is the mass model. tomorrow how to be happy and together for a long time, when they did not have independence and did not live alone, took responsibility for cooking, cleaning, taking care of money. One such sweetheart from my environment broke up. First they can't handle the family budget and the money for a week and they are gone, the mother, the mother-in-law come to clean because they can't handle it, they look after the child because they can't see themselves and they have a child, absurd at all situation. This is the reality. Marriage is maintained, parents should not interfere and share everything. Being with your baby at night is ok, but sleeping with your grown child or children is not right for either the couple or the children and this is the mass model. when they did not have independence and did not live alone, he took responsibility for cooking, cleaning, taking care of his money. One such sweetheart from my environment broke up. First they can't handle the family budget and the money for a week and they are gone, the mother, the mother-in-law come to clean because they can't handle it, they look after the child because they can't see themselves and they have a child, absurd at all situation. This is the reality. Marriage is maintained, parents should not interfere and share everything. Being with your baby at night is ok, but sleeping with your grown child or children is not right for either the couple or the children and this is the mass model. when they did not have independence and did not live alone, he took responsibility for cooking, cleaning, taking care of his money. One such sweetheart from my environment broke up. First they can't handle the family budget and the money for a week and they are gone, the mother, the mother-in-law come to clean because they can't handle it, they look after the child because they can't see themselves and they have a child, absurd at all situation. This is the reality. Marriage is maintained, parents should not interfere and share everything. Being with your baby at night is ok, but sleeping with your grown child or children is not right for either the couple or the children and this is the mass model. First they can't handle the family budget and the money for a week and they are gone, the mother, the mother-in-law come to clean because they can't handle it, they look after the child because they can't see themselves and they have a child, absurd at all situation. This is the reality. Marriage is maintained, parents should not interfere and share everything. Being with your baby at night is ok, but sleeping with your grown child or children is not right for either the couple or the children and this is the mass model. First they can't handle the family budget and the money for a week and they are gone, the mother, the mother-in-law come to clean because they can't handle it, they look after the child because they can't see themselves and they have a child, absurd at all situation. This is the reality. Marriage is maintained, parents should not interfere and share everything. Being with your baby at night is ok, but sleeping with your grown child or children is not right for either the couple or the children and this is the mass model.
Because they know very well how nasty and vile what they do is, and they don't want it to happen to them.
Here is the problem - you have closed your eyes to its sociopathic manifestations. And there were a lot of them, and you have to admit that they attracted you (I'm not talking about infidelity, but about the character). Quite a typical story of attraction between the two opposites - balak and user. The Internet is full of such stories, but they are more accessible in English. Read, well, people. That is why the younger generations refuse to enter into serious relationships. They observed unacceptable behavior, which in nature at one time, tens of thousands of years ago, was completely normal.
If you had more brains than a chimpanzee, answer the question yourself. They find fools like you because it's convenient.
Author, the topic brings sadness and disappointment. All the examples of broken families make more and more young women not want children, just by thinking about possible betrayal and loneliness ... Infidels do not get together with their peers, because quite logically they would not want someone to do the same to them. to see what it's like to be on the other side. Now I remember my "father", who was not deprived of anything in the family, but broke off to cheat on my mother all his life, and at the same time kept her very short so that she would not bend ... what insolence! So I'm one of those grown-up girls who was upset by her own father's example, and I'm glad you prevented your child from witnessing such a relationship in time.
People are not monogamous, especially men. Monogamy is a fabrication. There are biological needs that if you don't get them from one person ... you'll ask for another. Ah, that with marriage, relationships, love most of the time turns out to be a complete lie. Don't take it too seriously. Psychologically, it sucks to be cheated on or even in some cases to cheat on someone yourself (advice, consequences, problems, stress). Biological and physical need of a person. It would not be necessary and there would be no infidelity if you were not women - such. Blushing, anger, 'the way you come to the conclusion that someone doesn't love you because they tied their left shoe first, not their right. When it comes to 'loving', that is - sex ... my head hurts, but your mother did it today and what not. All this is unnecessary stress and nerves. A, life can be so good if you give up these traits. And there will be shoes and cars and vacations and sex to the fullest. Advice just :) * I haven't even read the topic, but there is no need and everything always depends on a few things ... sex, love, money, power, fame and ... selfishness.
I've been asking myself the same question for a while. Why don't they get together with their peers when they think that infidelity is something normal in a couple? When they both shout, there should be no injuries, and everything will be fine.
If he could write "faithful / unfaithful" on people's foreheads, but there is no way. I stopped thinking about infidels a long time ago and analyzing them. I accept that they are just like that and I don't want to know anything more. Years ago, I thought that most of them were too emotional and exceeded their principles and morals because they thought they were in love. It still sounds logical to me, but it is a kind of dreamy point of view and it cannot be a universal truth. I once came across one of these polygamous types. At least he was honest, a few months later a relationship came up and he told me he wasn't sure how monogamous he could be. I had already sunk and the story unfolded slightly dramatically. I was a little lucky, I admit. And around my friends there are many stories of infidelity, and broken marriages, single parents and whatever you can think of. Unpleasant work. However, in the midst of all this, I can't help but mention that not everyone is like that. There are millions of people in this world who want family, fidelity and pure love, offering the same in return. I'm glad you met your partner. People, I will share with you that all my acquaintances who have experienced such a thing are now attached to people very similar to themselves and are happy. Don't despair. The author is right, love is found, it is not just pain.
Sex maniacs are psychopaths. Psychopathy is a personality disorder and cannot be treated because it is not a disease. This is a person with strongly deformed thought patterns, perceptions and feelings. From an early age, something went wrong with their psycho-emotional development. They do not feel and think like non-human people. They constantly lie, cheat, manipulate, control, simulate, deny. They live in a fictional world of lies. They have no guilt or they simulate it, they do not love but they simulate love, they do not sympathize and do not regret, they only simulate similar ones, they look you in the eye and lie, they want something and they manipulate you to do it if you refuse fight, threat of abandonment, threat of murder, suicide. When you do what they want after the threats, they love you very much and pretend to be sorry. This is endless mental harassment. They never change because there is no way, they just promise you and then the same thing. In my opinion, these people are mentally handicapped and we have to run away from them in time. I have a similar experience, and they also impose on you a constant feeling of guilt, inferiority, stupidity, etc. to make you crazy, but in fact they are. Run away and get away from those that can ruin your psyche forever and become subscribers to the mental hospital with a bag of pills for life. And so you can ruin your own life, that of your children and relatives at the same time, and the psychopath can live his life peacefully as if nothing had happened. I still have the personal experience of a relative. It's horrible. Psychopaths are potential criminals and murderers too. In my opinion, these people are mentally handicapped and we have to run away from them in time. I have a similar experience, and they also impose a constant feeling of guilt, inferiority, stupidity, etc. to make you look abnormal, but in fact they are. Run away and get away from those who can ruin your psyche forever and become subscribers to the mental hospital with a bag of pills for life. And so you can break your own life, that of your children and relatives at the same time, and the psychopath can live his life as if nothing had happened. I still have the personal experience of a relative. It's horrible. Psychopaths are potential criminals and murderers too. In my opinion, these people are mentally handicapped and we have to run away from them in time. I have a similar experience, and they also impose a constant feeling of guilt, inferiority, stupidity, etc. to make you look abnormal, but in fact they are. Run away and get away from those who can ruin your psyche forever and become subscribers to the mental hospital with a bag of pills for life. And so you can break your own life, that of your children and relatives at the same time, and the psychopath can live his life as if nothing had happened. I still have the personal experience of a relative. It's horrible. Psychopaths are potential criminals and murderers too. Run away and get away from those who can ruin your psyche forever and become subscribers to the mental hospital with a bag of pills for life. And so you can break your own life, that of your children and relatives at the same time, and the psychopath can live his life as if nothing had happened. I still have the personal experience of a relative. It's horrible. Psychopaths are potential criminals and murderers too. Run away and get away from those who can ruin your psyche forever and become subscribers to the mental hospital with a bag of pills for life. And so you can break your own life, that of your children and relatives at the same time, and the psychopath can live his life as if nothing had happened. I still have the personal experience of a relative. It's horrible. Psychopaths are potential criminals and murderers too.
People cheat for a variety of reasons. One of them is that they are not happy with their "official" partner. Many people get in touch for reasons other than love - loneliness, money, because it will be prestigious for them to be with the person, etc. However, here comes the key - you live with this person and if you only reunited with him in order not to be alone, or because he is rich and you have nothing in common, a great dissatisfaction appears and it is normal to look for compensation elsewhere. Not that I justify it, but life is colorful and people happen to find themselves in a similar situation. There is another type of people - they love the thrill of the "forbidden fruit". Your ex looks more like this guy to me, so it's good you got rid of it.