Hello, I am 21, my friend is 28. We have been together for 5 years, our city is small and most people know each other. I wonder why this is always the case when you are with one person 1-2-3 ... 10 years old they start asking you: Abe, when have you been together Won't you get married anymore? I am personally asked every year, this pointless question, most of the time they are the same people. When you say "NO" to them, in most cases it's either why or: Well, yes, life is expensive now, there is no need for unnecessary wedding expenses. Then why should the same thing be asked of God every time? For me, this is a hint that we are old or that they want to invite them to a wedding, to slap each other like pigs, to fuck like last time or ....? Then, after you get married, the question comes: And when will there be children? And if you don't give birth within 1 year after the wedding: AAA, they have a problem if they don't have a child yet, or something is lame here, they can divorce. And the answer may really be that there is a health problem, it may be because of money or you are just in no hurry to have a child. I'm just starting to get nervous from these questions. I'm tired of saying the same thing, that I'm small, that nothing is certain yet, work, housing, and therefore my ears hear once again: You're not small. People of that age have children. and your friend is not small. It's like he's an old uncle, and he's not even 30 years old. I get tired sometimes and I wonder when, this my handsome man will offer me, and I start to get annoyed by these questions. Come answer me now, if you asked such questions why do you do it? Don't you feel annoying people? Aren't you tired of asking these people the same thing? And the answer may really be that there is a health problem, it may be because of money or you are just in no hurry to have a child. I'm just starting to get nervous from these questions. I'm tired of saying the same thing, that I'm small, that nothing is certain yet, work, housing, and therefore my ears hear once again: You're not small. People of that age have children. and your friend is not small. It's like he's an old uncle, and he's not even 30 years old. I get tired sometimes and I wonder when, this my handsome man will offer me, and I start to get annoyed by these questions. Come answer me now, if you asked such questions why do you do it? Don't you feel annoying people? Aren't you tired of asking these people the same thing? And the answer may really be that there is a health problem, it may be because of money or you are just in no hurry to have a child. I'm just starting to get nervous from these questions. I'm tired of saying the same thing, that I'm small, that nothing is certain yet, work, housing, and therefore my ears hear once again: You're not small. People of that age have children. and your friend is not small. It's like he's an old uncle, and he's not even 30 years old. I get tired sometimes and I wonder when, this my handsome man will offer me, and I start to get annoyed by these questions. Come answer me now, if you asked such questions why do you do it? Don't you feel annoying people? Aren't you tired of asking these people the same thing? I'm just starting to get nervous from these questions. I'm tired of saying the same thing, that I'm small, that nothing is certain yet, work, housing, and therefore my ears hear once again: You're not small. People of that age have children. and your friend is not small. It's like he's an old uncle, and he's not even 30 years old. I get tired sometimes and I wonder when, this my handsome man will offer me, and I start to get annoyed by these questions. Come answer me now, if you asked such questions why do you do it? Don't you feel annoying people? Aren't you tired of asking these people the same thing? I'm just starting to get nervous from these questions. I'm tired of saying the same thing, that I'm small, that nothing is certain yet, work, housing, and therefore my ears hear once again: You're not small. People of that age have children. and your friend is not small. It's like he's an old uncle, and he's not even 30 years old. I get tired sometimes and I wonder when, this my handsome man will offer me, and I start to get annoyed by these questions. Come answer me now, if you asked such questions why do you do it? Don't you feel annoying people? Aren't you tired of asking these people the same thing? and he is not even 30 years old. I'm tired sometimes, and I wonder when this bastard of mine will offer me, and I'm starting to get annoyed by these questions. Come answer me now, if you asked such questions why do you do it? Don't you feel annoying people? Aren't you tired of asking these people the same thing? and he is not even 30 years old. I'm tired sometimes, and I wonder when this bastard of mine will offer me, and I'm starting to get annoyed by these questions. Come answer me now, if you asked such questions why do you do it? Don't you feel annoying people? Aren't you tired of asking these people the same thing?
Answers 14
"We have been together for 5 years, our city is small and most people know each other. "That's why they ask you - because nothing is happening in your village. And yes - right, because they want you to invite them to have fun, soak and cram at your expense. But I think you want to get married yourself, and you're angry that your friend is prudent enough not to propose. Your analysis is very correct, but it's time to take the next step together - to pack your bags and go to a big city where you can live in peace. Weddings and children will not escape you. Now is your chance to break, because in 20 years, without noticing, you will have become part of a limited Seljuk society that will ask its limited Seljuk questions, which irritate you so much today. The worst is that these people in their limitations are also terribly cruel to the different - as she herself hinted. God forbid something happens, they will tear you apart. Not to mention the intrigues and gossip. Get out on time!
On the other hand, every year on my birthday they wish me to get married soon. So I started with these wishes as soon as I turned 18, and not from 1-2 people to hear them, so as not to put it to heart. Over time, I began to think that I was obviously super repulsive to men when everyone who drank wished me that instead of "being alive and healthy." My birthday is approaching and I have instructed my colleagues that if they want me to get married, I will soon start forcing them with the candies on my head. Is it so important to get married as soon as you turn 18 and try not to relax in search of a husband that I just turned 30 and got married?
To your last question - no, I have never asked such a question and I do not intend to do it, and not out of tact, but simply because I do not care. Who, when and whether he will marry is his job, I am interested in people as such, not their formal relationships. I am also asked such questions from time to time, but it is mainly a joke, respectively I also answer a joke, and when you stop people 2-3 times and they stop asking. In your case, if it's a small town, they're probably really asking in search of sensation and some news and gossip, if nothing else is happening in the city. Just prepare a few more biting remarks to respond to in such cases and you're done. It is important not to fall into excuses and explanations, or to show that it irritates you, because this increases the interest of gossip and next time they will question you again. Answer calmly, politely,
Oh, I'm a 29-year-old man, but I'm tired too. The whole family only asks this and they don't fail to explain to me how if I don't marry me by next year at the latest, you can already see if it's over. At 30, did I end up without a wife? They were all married. Who are all these? Half of them divorced me, the other half can no longer be watched. Well, if a girl shows up and sees her as a person, I leave the house IMMEDIATELY, but IMMEDIATELY.
In my opinion, this is because most people are older and have touched communism. It was mandatory for people to be married then. This is more or less difficult to eradicate from the minds of the people. It will be decades before he gets used to the idea that marriage is not necessary for young people to be happy. People don't even think about why they ask this question and what they are interested in. It's just that the question is asked so mechanically that I don't even know. I have also never asked this question, firstly because I don't care who will get married and when, and secondly because I am strongly against weddings and marriage in general. So, in my opinion, one option is to come up with an answer on duty, something of the sort soon or when the time comes or there as you feel it. Don't report to them. so you only give occasions for talking and gossiping.
Hello, author! I'm 21 too, and they keep asking me. And even worse - my family teases him! I had a relationship, but they didn't stop harassing us for a wedding - finally the boy dumped me ... Now they don't stop hinting at how I was going to stay an old girl ... And I'm still learning! I can't stand them anymore, this family is poisoning my life! But I don't have money for rent, otherwise I would have moved out ...
Because that's all they can think of, confusing their gag everywhere. If they got married and gave birth at the age of 20, why shouldn't the "young" get married too. His oligophrenic work, I also have a serious relationship and I'm fed up with being asked, handled, etc. and I'm not from a small town. What if the purpose of my life is NOT to get married and give him 21 children? Fuck people ...
Because in their time it was done that way, and at an age well below yours.
I'm 22 and I'm tired of these stories, I hate my relatives. I'm from a big city. I am constantly pressured for children to do. Neither am I able to watch, nor do I have a friend, nor do I have the means, nor the desire, I want to live, and they impose this mental harassment on me. At the moment I will go abroad (I run away from them). I think they have disgusted me to such an extent that I will not hear about a man or children because of them. After 27 years age will reflect.
Why? Because they're congested, that's why. I got married at 26 and no one has ever argued with me about it, on the contrary - I was always brought up that I should first finish my education, then think about family. Honestly, when I was 19 I was one step away from this step, even my father joked that we could do a ball and a wedding at once :)) I advise you to show clearly and categorically that you do not want such interference in your personal life. Believe me, it works. Shortly after the wedding of a family reunion, Etvarva opened her mouth for me - when we were going to make her child (our nephew) uncle and I cut her with the big ax. I told everyone briefly, accurately and clearly that I did not want anyone to rummage in my sheets and ask so many personal things and that this topic was forbidden and very annoying. No one has raised the issue again. Yes, I'm like a human being - I'm damn direct, in someone's eyes I may look rude, but this is my life, my family. Before you have a child, you must have a place to live INDEPENDENTLY with your partner and have something to offer this child. Don't feel obligated to give an explanation to anyone.
Number 11, and I'm almost 26 women. Do you think it's time for my family, or can I wait a little longer?
I completely sympathize with you. I am 28 and my girlfriend is 25 and we have been together for 8 years. We have been living together for 6 years and we have been independent for 4 years and we live as a family. We have no children and we are not married and I am constantly asked this question. I either just smile and don't give them an answer if I care about the questioner, or I ask them a counter question like "And when will you start looking at your work?". Do not care.
That's why I don't go to weddings, only to funerals. Only there they don't ask me "Come on, won't you be the next one".
I just haven't paid attention to them for years. People are generally well-meaning, but they do not feel that they are interfering in a very personal sphere and the constant questioning, insinuation, attempts at matchmaking does not really help anyone. I know people who have married under such pressure without love and their marriage has been neither happy nor lasting. It is said to itself: beauty cannot be forced.