Hello! I have written a lot in this forum but for other reasons. I still did not have the courage to write this story of mine. But now I have found. I am a 16 year old boy and I have a health problem in my legs (I will not explain which one) and I am half disabled. I have a very good family that loves me very much and supports me in everything. But when it comes to friends, it becomes ugly and sad. Since I was younger, I haven't had ANY TRUE FRIEND. Everyone is either making fun of me for the problem or using me to get some benefit or making fun of me. I've been through depression a few times so I'm not going to talk about it. I just want advice - how to fix my life? If I were healthy, would I have friends? I will be grateful to anyone who advised me. Thanks in advance!
Answers 10
Do not accept that this is because you are disabled, most people look only at their interest and in general. I am twice and older than you and I have only 4 friends and everything else is familiar.
And I do not have a single friend in Sofia and in Bulgaria in general. I went to work abroad and in just 1 year I made a dozen friendships. Of course, I am 2-3 closest and they still invite me for a beer. I came back because although I had a lot of friends, I attracted a lot of enemies there, it was quite black and white. But I miss going out to a restaurant with someone, and in my native Sofia I can't meet decent people ... Sometimes the problem is not in you, but in the place.
And if you were healthy, you would still face the same problem. Everywhere you will hear the opinion that it is difficult to find the right person to start a family with, but it is just as difficult to find valuable friends in your life. You need thick skin. I tell you this because you may be disabled, but you are equal to everyone else in my eyes. Friends make jokes, sometimes these jokes are inappropriate. The situation with your legs is very delicate, but when someone gets used to you, they will hardly notice your health and will be inclined to joke with you. The more times I found myself in a friendly environment, the more times I heard a number of inappropriate jokes. A big plus is if you yourself can accept the situation slightly with ridicule. I have a friend who recently broke his thumb and has been walking with plaster or whatever for a month now. Everyone is joking with him, he also jokes with himself. I'm below average height, they joke with me that I can't reach the high shelves in the store. If you can't accept such jokes, you better tell yourself that it's not funny at all, that you're almost disabled and you don't like to comment on this topic. If they are normal people, they will understand you and will not tease you. As for pure betrayals, he is not angry. It happens to all of us. There are rotten ones around good apples, that's life. Anger takes away so many other good emotions, try not to absorb only ink in your heart. You will meet various people who, frankly, will be complete bastards, but you do not live for them and you do not have to think about them. Someone betrays you, you learn a lesson, you have one thing in mind for him and you move forward without this person. In fact, it will be much harder than it sounds, but take it as a kind of self-care. If someone uses you, do the same. How to fix your life? Learn to accept yourself, try to look at things as if you are no different from others. Love yourself, like yourself. Take time for nice people and experiences. Indulge in hobbies, learning, entertainment. Don't waste time on people you don't like. Give everything for the others who are good to you. Live, in other words. Try new things, don't shut yourself up at home, don't indulge in depression. Many people have been depressed, I know it's convenient to curl up in a shell and watch others walk out the window, but it's much better to be the one walking in the sun and looking at the branches of the trees. Accept depression as an enemy to fight. Go out in spite of her, communicate in spite of her, defeat her.
1. Just don't care. 2. The golden rule for this country: if you are bad you are ridiculed, if you are good they spit on you. 3. The sooner you realize that there are no friends, the better for you. There are only common interests.
Just because you have a physical problem doesn't make you unfit as a person, it's just that unfortunately you haven't happened to literate people around you so far. I have a friend who is disabled. I know how most people accept him, I see how they look at him, but for me he is a normal person like everyone else. Along with the therapies he attends, he met other people like him and made real friendships. Just don't give up, don't despair, and don't think the problem is with you. The problem is the stupid and limited thinking of the mass of people. Life is wonderful in spite of everything and I believe that you will find real friends. Head up and believe :)
Everything must be 100% accurate and correct. Nowadays, if your phone is an old model - they abandon you and are not your friends, but what is left to be semi-disabled? !! Friends are your friends, if they have any benefit from you or if you are charismatic and with good self-confidence ... And if you have problems or if you feel sorry for yourself - do not look for "friends".
I'm sorry about your health problem. I'm a woman, I don't have such a problem, I look great and yet people still behave like that. Do not expect and do not rush to get closer. Try more general acquaintances. That's how people drive basically.
Up to 6 Thanks for the useless finding ...
G32 I have a girlfriend and a sister, and if my sister wasn't my sister I wouldn't be in contact with her at all. I also have sums and acquaintances, most of them look for me when they want something from me. At school, people kill complexes, I was a strong student and others made fun of me. Every time someone said something to me, I smiled and kept quiet. Do you know why? Because I was thinking about his or her life. I am loved by my family and happy, always completely emotionally and materially satisfied. I was ridiculed that our people drove me to school when it was cold. And many of those who played with me for various nonsense were not asked by anyone, when they returned home how their tribute went, how they felt and whatever else you can think of. If you can just look at their houses for a few minutes and see how they live and you will never care again.
Don't think that you are less human than the others. True friends have always been hard to find. It turned out to me that two of my best friends, and especially one that I considered best and we were almost inseparable, was just a friend of mine because I was good to him. And here I am not talking about a few years of friendship, but about almost 20! You've come across naughty people, which is not as bad as it seems, because that's how you learn to separate the grain from the chaff. Live your life calmly and do not pay much attention to human simplicity.