Hi, my problem is this. I am a child, most of my relatives and cousins are abroad or live in another city. As a child, I was very attached to friendship. I did my best for my friends, helped them in difficult times, gave them advice and accepted their pain and suffering as my own. But whenever I get close to a girl and build a stable friendship, a third person appears in our relationship and ruins everything. This is what happened to one of my best friends three years ago. We were like sisters, sharing joy and sorrow, but a third girl appeared and we gradually moved away. In the end, we just stopped all contact with her without any words or explanations, we ended our friendship and we still don't talk. Naturally, I experienced it very hard. Then I started dating my best childhood friend, we renewed our relationship with her and became very close as before. This continued until this year, until a third person reappeared, namely one of her cousins, who is 3 years younger than us. We started calling her to go out with us and she permanently interfered in our relationship. We didn't go out much this summer, but they were always together or watching a movie or going out without calling me. Sometimes all three of us went out, but I felt like we were moving away and we couldn't share as before because my cousin was with us all the time. I became very irritated and jealous because she imposed her opinion on her and influenced her in this way. I have the feeling that he wants to separate her from me so that they can be both, so I feel superfluous. I understand they are second cousins, but still she is smaller than us and why not just find friends her age? She imposes her opinion not only on my best friend, but also on me. It has often happened that he takes advantage of me when he has a benefit, and when he doesn't, he doesn't think of me at all. Please give me some advice. I don't want to break up with my girlfriend like I did the previous one. Does friendship really not exist and is there for a while? Or are people together as long as they benefit from it and then separate for no reason? I used to believe in friendship, but now that word means almost nothing to me. I'm tired of people leaving my life and a third person to blame. This weighs a lot on me because I don't have brothers and sisters, and my cousins are far away and I'm alone.
Answers 6
I am one to one with you. I am also an only child. And to me, all my friendships so far have ended in the same way as yours - a third person appears, who obviously seems "more interesting" to those who called me friends, and our relationship ends slowly. , no quarrels and no explanations. Obviously I can't give you adequate advice, because I'm on the same page, I just wanted you to know that you're not the only one. Maybe most people prefer big and noisy companies (friendships for fun), and I like a more closed type of friendships - I can only have one close person, but to be able to do all sorts of things together, to share, to support each other in difficult moments. Probably that's where the contradiction comes from.
Friendship is up to time only for women. I have at least 5 people with whom we have been brothers for over 30 years. One of us even lives together and shares a bite. However, you have an interest and you are constantly competing and comparing with each other. Very often even two girls are friends just because they are ashamed to "move" with others uglier or more stupid than them. They are jealous, envious, judging, reproaching ... all primitive human qualities. The more complexes, the more vanity and superficiality. Find your friends guys.
Yeah, they're like that. Don't expect anything from anyone so that you don't suffer. Although, with this advice of mine, you become soulless, insensitive ... at least to some extent. You know, there is nothing wrong with suffering, it makes us truly feeling and living.
Friendships are not exactly like relationships. Everyone has an "n" number of acquaintances and has different feelings for each person, but is friends with more than one. A third person cannot separate you, because your girlfriend can be friends with you, her cousin and 10 other people at the same time. I don't have a best friend. I have several people whom I trust unreservedly and I share a lot with them, as they share with me. They are all close to me, I do not divide them into the best. They are not jealous of each other, because each of them also has other friends and they understand me. Sometimes we go out a lot of people together, other times I see someone in private, a third time I go out with a friend and his company. In general, friendship is not thought of as love. Don't put all of yourself into one person with the idea that another can't be that close to you. Don't make your friends choose between you and other people. Behave normally, call them when you go out with them, but understand that you do not need to have a close friend and see him every day. Your girlfriend doesn't have to call you every time she decides to watch a movie with her cousin or go to coffee with her. These things are normal, don't look at them as a kind of betrayal. You will only stop communicating if you take her into account and put her in a situation where she feels she has to choose between you and another person. These things are normal, don't look at them as a kind of betrayal. You will only stop communicating if you take her into account and put her in a situation where she feels she has to choose between you and another person. These things are normal, don't look at them as a kind of betrayal. You will only stop communicating if you take her into account and put her in a situation where she feels she has to choose between you and another person.
And I always preferred to go out alone with my two best friends from elementary school and high school. Before them, I had a best friend from my childhood, with whom what you describe happened - other people interfered in our relationship and separated us. My other two friends and I now live in different countries, so we can't communicate so often and see each other about once a year. When you start a family, friends more or less stay in the background, no matter how close you are. And it often happens that others interfere in the relationship. I understand how you feel, but you have to look ahead and you will certainly meet quality people to make friends with.
There is no eternal friendship, man. There are eternal geeks. And I've had cases with "friends", I don't list them all. In short: - we knew each other from primary school, I contacted him again. But she has a boyfriend - a blonde, dumb, with owl eyebrows, a villain. She managed to insult many people in one night, but the idiot likes her. Then he hangs out with another jerk who hated me without knowing me. With such a "man" is not built a friendship, I went to die. - We were friends, me and these brother and sister. However, he has a boyfriend again, this was the excuse to never (literally never) call (even when she beat him up and left for Germany). His sister called when she needed a penny (for 20 cents she even spread her legs, I'm not fucking). It didn't just work out. The others are no longer here or have simply disappeared without a trace. I have 2-3 avers, let's call them "friends". I have learned that there is no point in putting human emotions into something that is a potential monster. You live your life, whatever happens.