I am a girl and I am 15 years old. I am from a small town and this year I will be in 9th grade. Last year I met a girl from my new (8) class with whom we became very close (I want to add that I have never had such a close friend before). The girl in question was not doing well with the study material, so as her friend I was constantly helping her. And so time passed and I became imperceptibly attached to her. We were together all day and had a good time, but since the summer vacation started, everything has changed, including herself ... In the beginning it was good (we went out, I paid some expenses, because she doesn't have many opportunities, and she isn't from my city, we had fun), but all that changed from a party where she was with some of her friends and got drunk. It has changed since then. She started seeing only her friends who were from her city and drinking with them almost every day while she was shaking. But not only that, they let her smoke cigarettes and even weed. My opinion of all this is completely negative and she knows it, but she still fails. I don't know if it's all because of her bad environment or something else, but these "friends" of hers just pull her down and make her walk this thorny and vicious path. We withdrew from each other and she became indifferent to our friendship. I don't know if it's my fault, but I'm worried about it. I have always strived to feel good and protected in my company. I indulged her, I was always by her side, I kept her secrets and I tried to solve her problems when someone created them for her, but her behavior offended me. I feel terrible since this happened, but I don't believe that crying and shutting myself in will help me solve the problem. Why does he treat me like that? Why did I suddenly become so indifferent to her? Is it my fault and am I a terrible friend? So many questions I can't find answers to ... I hope to find them here. Thank you in advance!
Answers 2
Girl, I'm 13, I'm from the capital, now I'm going to be in 7th grade, my school is not one of the bad ones, God forbid I enter the high school for ancient languages next year. I have not encountered such a problem and God forbid I do not encounter. My worst friend, the only drawback is that she is a couple. My advice: Save her from those hooligans!
Don't worry, you are not guilty of anything, except that you are too decent a person and a good friend! You yourself said that this girl had problems that you helped her with - in studies, money, etc., but now it is summer, she does not need help and she has other friends who do not influence her well. I'm not happy to tell you, but it turns out that she used you more or less ... If I'm in your place, I'll talk to her, explain to her that I care about her and that I'm uncomfortable being only as a "last resort". Tell her that you don't like watching her degrade and get together with bad company, also explain that you feel bad about the fact that you did so much for her and she left you because of a group of hooligans! If she's human, she'll listen to you, break away from those "friends" and be grateful that you always give her a hand at a bad time, if not, don't deal with it at all! You can't pour a brain into her head if she wants to move with the "cool" ones and get drunk and drugged, okay, but that's not your problem! If she has other friends, move with them, but don't help her anymore, show her that you don't need users and that if she doesn't appreciate everything you've done for her, then she doesn't deserve your friendship! If she turns out to be like that, I know she's naughty, but you better leave her and don't deal with her, even if she asks you for help, show her that you have personal self-esteem and are not an ATM or a "service bank". , a person with a mind and heart and you will not help people who do not deserve and gather with such garbage! And if she pushes you away, don't grieve for her! You will find new friends, more worthy, who will be loyal to you and will also help you, and not only you to them! ~ sad-baby ~