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Why Is Sex Spoiled?

By watchifuwant88 August 29, 2020 27 answers Last updated August 29, 2020

I will try to tell my story briefly, asking you for advice from personal experience. I really need unbiased opinions! My partner and I have been together for 9 years. The sex in the beginning was amazing until the moment we decided to have a baby on schedule (we went to inseminations). We went through a lot of hardships, rather I had an abortion with triplets in the 6th month after another 6 months. I was pregnant again with my daughter. During this period you guess that all sex was forbidden .. I am almost sure that a man will not stay without sex for so long, but that's not the problem. Is it normal to have sex once a month after birth? I have erotic outfits that I do not repeat! I do absolutely everything - blowjobs, anal .. Many times he refuses me under the pretext that he is tired and does not want blowjobs (I read how to do them) .. I support myself constantly and no one believes that I gave birth at all. I haven't changed my hair, but I don't believe it will help. I forgot, I had an expensive operation to restore the vagina, after the abortion and the birth (I didn't have much need, but I thought that maybe the stretching was the reason) .. now I'm tight again and we had sex 1 time after the operation - absolutely unsatisfactory about me. He is not gay, he is not impotent (hoika with schoolgirls). I'm 28, he's 40 .. Tenderness is also gone, now all the kisses are for our beautiful girl .. What can I do ?? Is everything lost? is this the case with all long-term relationships? not impotent (hoika with schoolgirls). I'm 28, he's 40 .. Tenderness is also gone, now all the kisses are for our beautiful girl .. What can I do ?? Is everything lost? is this the case with all long-term relationships? not impotent (hoika with schoolgirls). I'm 28, he's 40 .. Tenderness is also gone, now all the kisses are for our beautiful girl .. What can I do ?? Is everything lost? is this the case with all long-term relationships?

Answers 27

1
camillerg answered · August 29, 2020

   It seems to me that something has confused their partner. If you go with schoolgirls, what do you do with it ??? Don't listen to him, he justifies that he is 30. Men and 50 have a desire ....

2
kanye answered · August 29, 2020

   If the hoika with schoolgirls has nothing to worry about - it will pass, the whore was up to a time. Winnie the Pooh

3
stoberbruna answered · August 29, 2020

   I didn't see him go with schoolgirls, I don't understand? Author, I think you focused a lot on sexual and physical, even operations - wow! And no, that's not a euphemism for something else, but not everyone has been through this ordeal. I'm sorry, but I think your husband has a mistress or something and he already perceives you more as a mother, wife and friend. Don't take offense, it can happen to anyone. In my opinion, without wanting to get into your problems, you left him quite alone - for a long time everything revolved around you, he was looking to be supportive and tired, most likely he met a lady to charge his batteries ... But don't despair - he still loves you only and you can get it back. First, in the beginning you need to break away from your needs and look at his - and in everyday life. What did you do before more or differently. Stop with a hint of sex, with a grumble about trifles. Maybe the problem is that you have a child - arrange for someone to keep him, say, and go out with friends, as a couple at a restaurant. THEN DON'T PRESS HIM TO HAVE SEX, if he wants to, don't pull. Become a woman-lover again, a friend in that romantic way of the word, break away from the "mom", from the woman with problems, with the eternal "babbling" on the reproductive organs. Maybe it didn't happen any other way, but this whole deal with the "lady" downstairs may have killed his desire, or it could have been the sleepless nights or just another parallel romantic relationship. If it's the last one and if you want your partner back, change your behavior - don't shout, don't chase and don't make scandals, he will dump you. Concentrate on his needs, then he'll start taking care of yours again, he just might need to be at the center of this family again ... I know. I'm sorry if I didn't help you, I myself have a very long and successful sexual relationship and I tried to put myself in your situation and think what it could be - but I don't know you personally, I don't know what kind of person he is, I'm sorry - only you can find a solution P.P. - We greatly overestimate women's external beauty, even the beauty down there and do not notice how ugly women really are with men. Men, of course, like beautiful women physically, but for them things like home comfort, peace of mind are important, they don't like to have quarrels and problems at home, they like to be pampered and strange - many of them feel neglected because of the children before he was the only one for you, now it's not - he can't say it, of course - how it sounds. Not in underwear, etc. - he likes you and without, believe me, he likes you the way you are. He lacks something in your behavior towards him, in your attitude, and the more you grumble (if you do) about sex, the worse. Try to create a romantic atmosphere (make sure the baby doesn't sleep in your room), massage him before bed, for example, without sex or something sexual, find erotic movies if you want and show them to him, give him love and attention - but don't chase him and do not hint. It will be yours again soon, believe me! massage him before going to bed, for example, without sex or anything sexual, find erotic movies if you want and show them to him, give him love and attention - but don't chase him or tease him. It will be yours again soon, believe me! massage him before going to bed, for example, without sex or anything sexual, find erotic movies if you want and show them to him, give him love and attention - but don't chase him or tease him. It will be yours again soon, believe me!

4
boner12345r answered · August 29, 2020

   Don't bother. Now I will tell you what happened to me. I gave birth and after less than two years my husband refused to sleep together, even on separate beds we slept. I experienced it but things didn't stop there. I started working, I stopped paying attention to him, I started going out with the team ha on the occasion of Christmas ha on the occasion of uniting the team and so I found my occasions. I started to miss home, he was looking after the child and I was at parties and so for a year I had not had sex. Once I caught him with a girl-schoolgirl, but to note I did not see the act, but it was spread out on one side, they came from somewhere together. He made up a lie, but fuck, I packed his bags and rotted him. Plaka suffers, prays, and I, as soft as I am, put him back. But I didn't stop going out, I just forgot about him and then I just told you things worked out and I don't know exactly how, but now things have gotten better and I can say that both sex and my family are stable. I say that because I checked it may sound funny and fitting and paranoid, but I paid a girl to take it off at a banquet of their company, which I did not attend clearly why, but he refused. His mother is indifferent in my opinion. Don't suffocate him, give him freedom. HONEY

5
cityofsydney answered · August 29, 2020

   I agree with 4. Exact indifference. Unlike 3, I don't think you pay attention to him, quite the opposite. You do everything for him. I have noticed that the more I do things for myself, and not just try to please, the more they want me. 4, what you did is not paranoid at all and I thought it, thank God for now I do not think there is a reason ....

6
sxsfst2 answered · August 29, 2020

   I support №3.

7
nicko96 answered · August 30, 2020

   For № 4 - I have no words - how is it possible for a person to cause such humiliation to himself. If this is a family for you, normal people call it a parody of a family. For the author - you probably disgust him with something - ask him directly. There is no such animal that a man does not want to have sex with an attractive woman. Maybe he discovered a new fetish and you didn't fit into it.

8
xanderjr2707 answered · August 30, 2020

   Author, you have lost the joy of your relationship, the behavior as if you were boyfriends, even a joke. It lacks teasing, drooling. You wrote "hoika with schoolgirls" that's exactly what he finds in them ha-ha-hi-hi of his jokes. Remember how you behaved before and behave like that. It is not the problem in your body but in the posture. You have changed your thinking, you accept things more strictly between you, you have become a strong woman, you do not need male protection and you show it to him. There is nothing to do surgeries, and if the plastic ones turn you into a schoolgirl, you will not win it again.

9
florencebigsizebb answered · August 30, 2020

   By №7 - you obviously haven't experienced it and that's great. The same thing happened to me. Almost a year after the second child - no sex, then rarely, less and less and finally nothing. My husband doesn't go to schoolgirls, he doesn't go to women, he's just not sexual. We used to do it once a week when we were not married when we were not young, but I was very inexperienced and I didn't realize that this was not normal. We have never repeated the act and I am sensual, passionate, and he has no such needs. Prefers cup, TV, computer, friends. Of course, I don't look like I'm 20 over the years, but I can say without exaggeration that I look good, I support myself and I don't miss fans. Well, with us, other problems and conflicts arose and maybe that also contributed to the cessation of our sex life, but the bed seemed to fix the relationship. Fixes the relationship of those who have a desire for sex, and begging and waiting for sex is humiliating. Yes, you will immediately say - initiative, sexy lingerie. And it's even more insulting to be told that that's all you think about. I don't think it's abnormal to make love to you in a week or even ten days. So as not to despair, but things did not work out for me in the family. Naturally, the other appeared and then you can finish the story yourself.

10
sweet_candy_o_0_ answered · August 31, 2020

   To number 9, I'm Mila number 4. When I stopped deluding myself that I was fine in the family, and it was quite a short time a day after I wrote this above, and I realized that I was unconsciously looking outside the house. It's a pity, but where everything has died a long time ago, the bitterness I drank is stronger than the desire for a good family. I cried not out of anger but out of pity where I came from and what I looked like. Eh life. Was it life to describe it? honey

11
carlbildt answered · August 31, 2020

   Well, let me sit down too. The same thing has happened to me since I became pregnant, sex has become more and more rare, and since I gave birth completely, our baby is 3 months old, and we have had sex twice, I gave birth with surgery, so the problem is not that I have expanded, I use erotic lingerie for pajamas, I recovered almost immediately so that I do not look worse than before I got pregnant, I am 27 and at the risk of sounding not modestly I am a beautiful woman, I can not say that my husband walks , because after work he is at home, but I don't know what he is due to, but it sucks.

12
patriots answered · September 01, 2020

   I have the same problem. We've had sex a few times since I gave birth for 10 months. I dare say that I am a beautiful woman, supported I recovered immediately after birth but alas. If it happens it is once a month and it is super unsatisfactory. Sometimes I pray that there is another so that I can go and fuck another without remorse.

13
theboyboywestcoast answered · September 01, 2020

   From the author: Thanks to everyone for the advice. It's been 4 months since my topic was published. There is no development in family relations ... sex is still unsatisfactory and obligatory for both parties. During this period, however, I managed to achieve peace of mind ... I crossed many moral boundaries that I had set for years after I found out that my husband has 3 lovers of different ages. As a result, for the first time in my life, I realized that there was a multiple orgasm. In short, I have come to terms with the situation and I hope that this will not lead to even more serious problems in the future. To number 11: And mine doesn't come out in the evening and during the day it is often in front of my eyes, but it manages to shine in 3 places.

14
superfuncouple2watch answered · September 01, 2020

   If the sex between you is great, he will not give it up. This will not prevent him from having his 3 lovers, but he will be willing to do it with you. Regarding the comments above: I don't think babies have anything in common. Rather, it is based on a psychologist, or in some way justifying the women in front of them for their husbands' refusals for unclear reasons. They don't have to have lovers, they just get bored about the fuss that comes after giving birth, not obliging. to be so. The role of a woman is not only to be a mother, but also a loving wife. El

15
ahrinsatiable answered · September 02, 2020

   Author: El, how to become great again, when for a long time my stomach does not shrink when he stands next to me, the same is true with double force for him .. and if .... three times a week for me what desire to have ?? If you have ideas go :) How do you think in all couples does time kill everything?

16
luisana64 answered · September 02, 2020

   You don't have to have the same thrill you had years ago to have good sex. Don't think about it, but about the pleasure of sex itself. Have sex with pleasure, with feelings, with passion and desire. If you mean that he has sex with others 3 times a week, then the topic should be "how to get him back to me", and you only ask about sex. In order to separate him from other women, or at least to try - try to engage his free time with yourself, but in a pleasant way, invent surprises - for example. At the weekend go somewhere, after work-cinema, restaurant, exhibitions, concerts (if there is anyone to watch the baby). If the child has to be with you - walks, enroll in a gymnastics course for babies - it's fun and you will enjoy your daughter together. You can also go out with friends, or start by telling him, that you need procedures - massages (after birth you may really need - cross, back ..), and during this time he will be at home to look after the child .. so use the so-called female tricks and gradually, without realizing it, he will become a more responsible and present husband and father. El

17
thevillasomalia answered · September 02, 2020

   I gave birth recently. Before sex was satisfactory. My husband has never been a good lover, he has always been selfish about sex, although he is quite fucking. I got aroused easily and cummed very easily, so it didn't bother me. He was just looking at his own pleasure and never made any attempts to satisfy me. But after the birth, things changed. I GAVE BIRTH NATURALLY. If I gave birth now - I would choose a section. The birth was moderately difficult - as for the firstborn it was good ("only" 9 hours). An episiotomy was required (they cut from the vagina to the anus to get the baby out if it had a large head). As a result, I have internal and external stitches. They healed, but I feel pain during sex. Especially the external ones. There is almost no pose I like now. My favorite poses are now causing me pain and discomfort. I don't get aroused - my libido is below zero. I don't like anything. My husband started taking the initiative to predispose me, but he is somehow rude and it doesn't work at all. Because I am terrified of not getting pregnant again (I do not want and should not have more children for health reasons, and it is contraindicated for me to drink contraceptives), we do it with a condom. More precisely - we try to do it with a condom, but he rubs me (it wasn't like that before) and we stop. So in a few months I probably have 2 times real sex, which brings me pain and dissatisfaction. That is - things are changing. Because I am terrified of not getting pregnant again (I do not want and should not have more children for health reasons, and it is contraindicated for me to drink contraceptives), we do it with a condom. More precisely - we try to do it with a condom, but he rubs me (it wasn't like that before) and we stop. So in a few months I probably get 2 times real sex, which brings me pain and dissatisfaction. That is - things are changing. Because I am terrified of not getting pregnant again (I do not want and should not have more children for health reasons, and it is contraindicated for me to drink contraceptives), we do it with a condom. More precisely - we try to do it with a condom, but he rubs me (it wasn't like that before) and we stop. So in a few months I probably get 2 times real sex, which brings me pain and dissatisfaction. That is - things are changing.

18
matosh123 answered · September 02, 2020

   I also gave birth in the same way, hard 12 hours continued my birth. I was cut too and now it hurts, but we don't have sex. My child will now be 1 year old since I gave birth, we have had sex 10 times and we have done it 3 times during the whole pregnancy. And it's not my fault I wanted it, I say I wanted it because I don't care anymore even now when I think about having sex with him and it's kind of unnatural to me. He has also always been selfish in this regard but I did not realize it but now I see it. I just became a babysitter

19
keltie answered · September 03, 2020

   19, I am horrified to think of such a "relationship" with a man like yours. And this is the father of your child! This is your husband (as far as I understand). I can't say anything, I'm just sorry for you girls, because we do it every day, we've been together for 9 years now. I don't think my pregnancy and birth will one day change things. Ok, there will be no sex along the term, as after the birth, but otherwise? I even wonder how you got pregnant. Why did you get pregnant at all by men you don't want? Well, with the same success you could do in vitro and look after your babies with your dad and brother ... I don't know. For me, having children with someone you don't want, who doesn't want (and love) you is a mistake. Sex is 50% of a relationship and, if it is not OK, then tell me, how will the problems, the quarrels, the everyday life in general be overcome? Sex is a mana, for those who have it and a curse and a sick subject, for those who do not have it. It's only a matter of time before the relationship ... or what's left of it falls apart. The man or woman to find sex and love elsewhere. The children remain. Stupid, especially if the problems existed BEFORE conceiving the child. ...Pity!!!

20
aboutstylebr answered · September 03, 2020

   Here are situations in which infidelity is justified. I mean a woman cheating on her husband. He just deserves it. I advise all women not to deprive themselves of sex, if necessary with lovers. Otherwise, the time will come to regret the missed chances, but it will be too late. You are young and beautiful now, as far as I understand, but things are changing. I say everything from personal experience, the bad thing is that I personally realized it too late ...

21
masmavi3_mutfakta answered · September 03, 2020

   Abe, why do you justify these G ... what do you spare them, whether they want it or not! What's the matter with me, I don't feel like having sex, they don't watch their work, then they shouted that we women wanted more sex, because it didn't suit them. Excuses. Sometimes the reality is so simple, but we humans serve it, talk, talk, in time for everything, sex, dirty secrets, don't lie, just so things fall into place !!!

22
vatanika answered · September 03, 2020

   Sad! This is what marriage and children lead to at any cost, just because the model is like that and if you don't have it - you are not happy. And outside, people see a "healthy" family, but if you break it down a bit - rotten work! The topic is old and the author may like it, but I am 100% sure that at least one serious mistress is present. Another unhappy marriage! Another child who will not grow up in a house where there is love, comfort and tenderness, but because of him this rotten building will not break ... PEOPLE-A-A ..... wake up, for God's sake !!!

23
hischoolscotus answered · September 03, 2020

   Look, the problems weren't so serious before. Then we had sex at least 3 times a week, our child was made with love and desire. We loved each other very much then, things just went in that direction since my belly started to show. He started avoiding me then I gave birth and I thought that everything would be fine but alas and then things remained the same. True, he lost his job then and that crushed us, but I still wanted him. I took steps towards him because I realized where our relationship was going. Now he begs me, now he wants me but I can't anymore. Everything has changed for me. I don't want it I even doubt I love it that's it.

24
adelyn311 answered · September 04, 2020

   From the author: when I learned about my husband's infidelities, I was most hurt by the fact that he no longer tries to cover them up at all costs. I am not jealous and I do not rule out infidelity in marriage, but only when it is never understood .. Something in me breaks and it will never be the same. This love that I felt for him is no more .. my stress forms a knot (goiter) and now I am being treated with large doses of extramarital sex .. I only deal with single men (for those who start judging me :)

25
donboi031 answered · September 04, 2020

   up to 25 Well done just like that, when you realize that what you are striving for doesn't make any sense, I think it's normal to do so. The only thing that stops me is the fact that I haven't caught him yet, but I don't think he has another one, but the moment I find out he's fucking another one, I'll do it too, and I won't be conscientious at all. Although a person asks me why not to do it now, since I gave birth I have had sex for 5 years, there are no more than 5 times, so everything is a lost cause, in my opinion I am number 24 :)

26
samantha_bria answered · September 04, 2020

   It's high time, author, to do it, waste it, What are you doing to this pumpkin man, men of pain!

27
wantorimu answered · September 04, 2020

   What you were talking about was people. If there is no full-fledged sex between two partners, there is no understanding. At the age of 40, I understood what it was like to have a full sexual life. The partner to understand your body and desires and until he gives you pleasure to keep loving you. If he cheats, then he doesn't find what he needs in the woman next to him and the dirty bastard is looking for him outside. It is right for a woman to do everything possible to make him want her again. The question is to realize whether you want it and whether it is worth the effort. If not the decision for everyone to take their own path. The bad thing is that your little children will suffer because of which you are ready to endure everything. Please do not bury yourself. To be a woman in the prime of her life and to be deprived of caresses, love and pleasure is a living burial. You degrade both as a person and as a presence in society. Crushed servants, nurses, this is pure wasted life. Dear girls, do not let the current life you will not have to sacrifice this one for something that is not worth it. Either enter the right path or catch the forest. You don't have to act like them and look for a lover. You stand with your head proudly raised in front of your husband and very clearly explain to him in simple words how things are. You will either change them together or with someone else. BUT THERE SHOULD BE A CHANGE FOR THE BETTER. You stand with your head proudly raised in front of your husband and very clearly explain to him in simple words how things are. You will either change them together or with someone else. BUT THERE SHOULD BE A CHANGE FOR THE BETTER. You stand with your head proudly raised in front of your husband and very clearly explain to him in simple words how things are. You will either change them together or with someone else. BUT THERE SHOULD BE A CHANGE FOR THE BETTER.