Hello, a confused 25-year-old woman writes to you. Years ago I fell in love with a man, we had a short relationship, but I had to end it because he was dating several other women. I loved him so much that there was not a second that I didn't think about him and feel him. I hoped he would look for me, but over time I realized it didn't make sense and he probably never had feelings for me. I went on with my life, dating other men, but those feelings never went away. I also met the right one. I saw it with my mind, not just my heart. We have a relationship and I feel loved, so does he. The truth is, I can't deal with that memory and those feelings for a very, very long time ... and I don't know exactly what to do. I suppress them, I fight them. I repeat to myself that it is not right and that everything will pass. I dream it can be said every day and I feel burning, stabbing pain. Then I feel disgusted because I can't control this, but I've found the person I can be with and I want to be with him, I love him and I have no doubt that this is HIM !!! I want to be happy and enjoy my relationship. Is there still pain and anger in me from the abrupt severance of the relationship with that man and the unspoken things? Still, I tried to forgive him, I mentally wished him happiness and I hoped to be able to let him go from my loved ones, dreams and heart, but ... it's been like this for years. I just can't believe this agony is still going on. People, this has been going on for many years ... How do I do it? PS I don't need insults and attacks, so let only people who have been through something like this, who are currently going through this or who can give some meaningful and reasonable advice write!
Answers 11
"... I was hoping he would look for me, but over time I realized that it didn't make sense and he probably never had feelings for me ..." - this is absolute nonsense. People are silent for various reasons. I have been silent for half a year because of unbearable pain and insult. I will probably never speak to this man again.
Hi, I've been in a similar situation, I know how nasty it is to want to forget someone, but you constantly think about him, you dream about him, you wonder what he is doing, what is happening to him, if he still thinks about you… yes I am very familiar? But as you yourself wrote, this is because your relationship ended unexpectedly, there are many unspoken things left, you may think that it is your fault that you may have said or done something that took him away from you and that's why you constantly think about him. There are probably many questions that torment you, but you better leave things as they are, the more you bother and try to forget it, the harder it is. The person is obviously like that, fickle and even if you ask him what happened , why he stopped looking for you, at most to lie to you and tell you a bunch of stupid excuses. And you want to know the truth, but don't expect such people to hear the truth, they will always lie, they will justify themselves, because they are like that… you don't have to deal with and bother about such things. Be thankful that he has disappeared from your life! And believe me, in time you will be really glad that he is gone and that you have nothing to do with him. Sometimes it's better for a person not to know the truth, and your person probably had a relationship with another and that's why he left without giving you an explanation. If you were a man on the spot, he wouldn't leave you like that, he would at least talk to you and explain what's going on. But everything comes back and sooner or later everyone gets what they deserve, so leave things as they are and I will see that when you least expect you will stop thinking about it :) If you think more about your current relationship, you will very quickly forget the past. Rejoice in the man you are with now, love yourself and don't let any people from the past interfere with your relationship and stop you from being happy! :)
Are you 31 or 25 years old?
Look, it's easy to say - but just follow your feelings .. If a lot of time has passed and you haven't forgotten your previous partner, then you still have feelings for him .. it's not right for you to think of another as having a person to himself, but of course, if one could suppress one's feelings it would be much easier. I think it's really time to make a choice - if you choose your ex you will probably be rejected, due to the fact that he will no longer feel anything for you, and you will lose something extremely valuable (the current man)
You women, when you want something from men, never say "I want this". You start to wonder how to make him ask for it himself. Why don't you look for him and he has to look for you? And I want some cool poop to come and look for me without doing anything.
You know for yourself that it is not abnormal to think of your ex as the person you will have. Most likely he has another relationship, wife and family. He hardly thinks of you in the same way, or he may not even want to remember you. Once you're done, don't look for it, you're just humiliating yourself, and what you achieve - you're hurting your new relationship, you're hurting your mental health and your normal rhythm of life. You say that years have passed, isn't that a sufficient reason to take your life in your hands. You can also ruin your current relationship, because the person next to you will soon feel that you are not mentally with him. Remember what didn't work out in the previous relationship, why you broke up and try not to do it in this one either. You're old enough to know that you just don't live with memories. So you miss other important things in your life. Your ex will no longer be with you, and you do not allow the present to enter your life. Find your man and live happily. What are you so excited about, what is the life of your former friends and why have you had unspoken things. Sometimes a man meets the better woman and then chooses her, there is no need for two people to stand and explain for years why there was a misunderstanding between them. Everyone is looking for the best for themselves. Look for it too.
He has chosen the better woman for him, he is no longer with you, and you have been persecuting him for years, but it is not normal. Look for someone who will be everything to you and try not to be so obsessive that men hate such women very much.
Author, this happens because you women have a habit of "ending" your relationships out of pampering, vanity or because a super strong dude has appeared temporarily, who in time turns out to be not such a big dude. Then you screw yourself up, but an empty heart doesn't lie so easily when it sees a cool person who knows it and can't forget it, lying to yourself is very naughty, as well as wanting everything right away, effortlessly. You understand all this because it is happening to you.
From the Author: Hello, first of all I want to thank everyone who took the time to answer me. The man I'm talking about isn't married, he doesn't have a serious girlfriend at the moment, and I'm not stalking him in any way. In a sense, I don't have a phone number for him, nor do I know where he is at the moment, and he doesn't have a profile on the social network, I don't have information, nor am I looking for one. All I know is that he is alive and well and well, and that from common acquaintances. That's actually enough for me. And I don't want to go back to him, I just don't know how to stop dreaming with him and obsessive thoughts. I found my man, I had written him above. And the previous one didn't leave me, I left it because we were 3 or 4 on the branch. It is! I had just read somewhere about karmic relationships and breaking them, and I wonder if it's something like that. Thank you again though :)
To the Author: find meaningful activities, do not concentrate so much on relationships, fill your time with activities that they enjoy and charge. You will not feel when and how you stopped thinking about this person and true love has come into your life. I know a similar case, from such decent women around him, who hurt, the man now has a creature that crawled on his stomach for years and the whole company knew when and how she gave him blowjobs .... as well as his friends . Such a woman who will relentlessly endure all infidelities, styles and rudeness. You know if you want such a fate for yourself. I think you are sorry and you lack the idea of what it could have been, not the relationship itself; it happens when the relationship has not been experienced and further developed to idealize a person, but set a deadline, after which to make a conscious effort to live in the "here and now". Life is short, do not waste the good moments in memories of the unexperienced.
There are various topics for breaking karmic connections, rummaging through the net, although I do not believe it is