Hello. I am a 17-year-old girl from a small village. (The story may seem a bit childish and silly, but I just don't have anyone to turn to anymore and I'll be very happy if you help me with some advice or your opinion). Ever since I was a child, I have always been a super closed, anxious child. In all the years that have passed, I have always been isolated in an "congested" area. When I was 3, our divorced, my mother went abroad for work to support us, and I did not see any help from my father. I live with my grandparents and my uncle's family. In kindergarten, as far as I remember, I did not communicate with anyone, I was constantly roaring, it was difficult and lonely. When I went to school for the first 3 years, I did not have contact with my classmates in the same way. My self-esteem was at level 0, because I was much bigger than the others and subsequently I was isolated. In fourth grade, I entered puberty, I befriended a girl (let's call it "C") from my class, who I didn't like, but I had no other choice, because otherwise I would have hung out for 7 hours a day alone. After 1/2 year I became more sociable and found another friend "E", with whom we were super close.
My classmates began to pay more attention to me, but apparently at that time I did not think much about my friends, and it was important not to be alone. So at the end of 8th grade we organized an excursion for the last time, where my whole class agreed to gather in a room to have fun, but of course I was not invited. I started high school in a nearby town. In the 9th I was friends only with my friend "C", who turned out to be a big user and at the beginning of the 10th I decided to just dump her. It was one of my hardest years, in which I began to despair and depression. Despite all my efforts to make friends with everyone, they avoided me, I tried to share with my cousins, but they just didn't pay attention to me, and although we lived under one roof, they got together with friends and went to discos without inviting me. tonal ruined me. I decided to turn to my mother, but this turned out to be an even bigger mistake. Despite her support, one day she was fed up with the constant roar and shouting on the phone, she had nothing to do and advised me to give up my education and stay at home. I got sick, I was in the hospital, no one visited me except my cousins, who were forced. Loneliness was slowly killing me, I was already thinking about the worst. I shared it with a former classmate from the village who saw me crying several times at school ("A") with whom we were in the same class again. I managed to make friends with her, we formed a group, in general, she pulled me out of despair. But after a while, I started to notice that I was used again and perceived as a reserve. I wrote my summer vacation constantly with "A" and we became even closer.
11th-grade things got worse when she started moving constantly with another girl from our group and they started to separate from us, she only talked to me when she wanted to ask me something, she left me alone during the breaks. Now I am closer to another friend from the group, who told me today while we were talking "you are here so that I don't move and hang alone in the corridors in the breaks". Once again I am in this situation where despite all my efforts to be a good friend I always remain used. So my question is will I ever be able to find real friends at all. Do you think it will be better at university? Thank you all in advance for your time and understanding!
Answers 4
Friends do not depend on where you meet them, that is, even if you go to university there is no guarantee that they will be more literate people. Finding a true friend is a very difficult thing, but it is never impossible. It depends on how you behave with the other person and what kind of friend you expect to have. Sometimes they are in places you didn't expect, so don't despair and give up. Good luck. F 22
I think it is very difficult to find real friends, but it is not impossible. You will find the right people, though not immediately. I also hope so because I'm surrounded by fake friends who don't really care about me. They behave hypocritically and consider themselves something more. It's very difficult for me to dump them, because we've known each other for many years and we have good moments, after all. But this does not mean that they are my friends, because quite often they have isolated me, replaced me, used me, etc. and continue to do so, and at least I can't call that a friend. I am very much hoping to move to another city, where I can make new friends and change my life, because I have experienced a lot in the small town where I live, there is simply no realization, no decent people. I may also be disappointed with the new environment, but it will be quite different. I want to have lunch with my family, but I guess it wouldn't happen. I just feel mega dumb every day, I cry very often and I constantly have anxious thoughts about friends or something ... I regret explaining myself so much instead of giving advice, but I also want to show my situation. I don't know if she would listen to the advice of a girl younger than you, but I'm trying to help because this topic is important to me right now. From what I've said, I understand that you've been through a lot and I'll just wish you to find new people who are more real and feel really good around them, just don't give up. :) ж I regret explaining myself so much instead of giving advice, but I also want to show my situation. I don't know if she would listen to the advice of a girl younger than you, but I'm trying to help because this topic is important to me right now. From what I've said, I understand that you've been through a lot and I'll just wish you to find new people who are more real and feel really good around them, just don't give up. :) ж I regret explaining myself so much instead of giving advice, but I want to show my situation as well. I don't know if she would listen to the advice of a girl younger than you, but I'm trying to help because this topic is important to me right now. From what I've said, I understand that you've been through a lot and I'll just wish you to find new people who are more real and feel really good around them, just don't give up. :) ж
You will surely find the right people at the university! They are already more mature there, they have similar views, you will still be in one specialty. Believe strongly and it will work! My sister had a very difficult school year, she was very shy and anxious, she had a hard time getting along with her classmates, but once she entered the university things changed. She is currently happily married with a child :) I give you her story as an example to see that things work out with more patience. I should also praise you here, you reflected these friends who took advantage of you, instead of accepting the situation. Better alone, but true to your beliefs! That's how the right friend will come, who will appreciate your character! Success! ~ d.
Hello :) According to what is written, it sounds like a very sad story, the most important thing is that your health is good, I hope everything is fine now. We all have a more or less crazy family with your family and cousins, so don't blame them. I mean, do I doubt that this low self-esteem, isolation, introspection are the characteristics of some psychological problem? Why don't you try to visit a psychologist, even a school psychologist? It's bad that you don't have anyone by your side, I understand you somewhat. Sometimes everyday life can ruin me, and you've been like this all my life :( Try to find out what your classmates and other peers don't like. They may just be jerks and like to attack the weaker ones, but they can also I advise you to write your negative qualities on one sheet and the positive ones on one sheet, if the negatives prevail it is your opinion of yourself and people see your thoughts in reality! For me, your main problem is self-esteem, to be honest, so you don't make friends with a lot of people. Rediscover yourself! Find a hobby, start playing sports and you will gradually be happier and more confident. I recommend you buy John Kehoe's book - The Subconscious Can Do Anything and there is a movie based on the book called The Secret. Watch it and I hope you will soon feel much better and be surrounded by friends! Otherwise, I am more or less sociable and to tell you there is no real friend, even I am not, there is no perfect person, but the idea is above all to show people how we feel about them. For me, your main problem is self-esteem, to be honest, so you don't make friends with a lot of people. Rediscover yourself! Find a hobby, start playing sports and you will gradually be happier and more confident. I recommend you buy John Kehoe's book - The Subconscious Can Do Anything and there is a movie based on the book called The Secret. Watch it and I hope you will soon feel much better and be surrounded by friends! Otherwise, I'm more or less sociable and to tell you there is no real friend, even I am not, there is no perfect person, but the idea is above all to show people how we feel about them. For me, your main problem is self-esteem, to be honest, so you don't make friends with a lot of people. Rediscover yourself! Find a hobby, start playing sports and you will gradually be happier and more confident. I recommend you buy John Kehoe's book - The Subconscious Can Do Anything and there is a movie based on the book called The Secret. Watch it and I hope you will soon feel much better and be surrounded by friends! Otherwise, I am more or less sociable and to tell you there is no real friend, even I am not, there is no perfect person, but the idea is above all to show people how we feel about them. I recommend you buy John Kehoe's book - The Subconscious Can Do Anything, and there's a movie based on the book called The Secret. Watch it and I hope you will soon feel much better and be surrounded by friends! Otherwise, I am more or less sociable and to tell you there is no real friend, even I am not, there is no perfect person, but the idea is above all to show people how we feel about them. I recommend you buy John Kehoe's book - The Subconscious Can Do Anything and there is a movie based on the book called The Secret. Watch it and I hope you will soon feel much better and be surrounded by friends! Otherwise, I am more or less sociable and to tell you there is no real friend, even I am not, there is no perfect person, but the idea is above all to show people how we feel about them.