Hello. I started a relationship with my colleague in the middle of the summer, and from the beginning we were both engaged, but things changed for me because I don't want to lie and I was left alone. Few, but valuable and shared, strong moments - from those that you feel that you have not had others, nor will you have others in your life, words, attitude, as she herself says - "and in long-term relationships such things are missing" - everyone trembles as touched her… I am 34 - without marriage and children, (without housing, but with a visible option for such), she is 29 - also without marriage and children, lives with "her" in his apartment (there is also his housing). In short - I want things to become official between us, but she can't take this step, she doesn't want to part with her current boyfriend - she hesitates and rather seems to be apologizing for not doing so even though she clearly feels happy with me. She is very ambiguous and unsettled in her behavior - she is a serious, smart and sensitive girl, she did not have many relationships, nor is she a "buzz", but the doctrine of "both hurts and itches" is very serious. She indulges in something, and then somehow tries to "hold on to the situation" and deny it and feels guilty about it, and this with me, I have clearly shown that it is not just sex and that "she loved and loved." For ogr. I have given all the time we have to "show" her that she will feel in her place with me and will be happy at least in terms of attention, love, intimacy, sex, communication, etc. I want to spend more time with her, but she refuses to say that she is limited by her relationship, at the same time she says that she needs more time to make such a decision.
My reason for having such expectations for us is that she has shown - both through her behavior and the very fact that she is with me, and in words - that she is not getting what she needs in her current relationship, that hers is not communicating properly or at all. with her, he leaves her alone in some careless way and they move by inertia, he feels that he is tired of him ... but still she pushes him. I suspect that habit and home comfort are what keep her there combined with the fact that she is very sensitive and does not want to hurt the person at the cost of her personal happiness. In general, our relations are hesitant with normalization and degradation with a fairly dense amplitude - its uncertainty affects me, respectively, I withdraw, then return, as such things on her part and on my part distance us from each other - unfortunately it happened almost chronic. "Already" she misses me and has feelings for me, but she still doesn't take any steps or give signals to give a chance to something like "us." For my part, I may have become too insistent and confronted her with a choice she's not ready for, but I think there's enough to consider. I don't like her vague approach, the fact that she wonders and seems to hit him in vain, and tells me that maybe she just takes advantage of the comfort of her habits, and at the same time resorts to me for the excitement as she passes the number, as in last time tries to limit it so that it doesn't hurt me anymore (which is too late). I have the feeling that I am left in the grip of some sweet but unjustified compromise, which she almost makes with herself without considering her desire, and which compromise was set for a limited period of validity - despite their words, emotions and weight.
Answers 14
I am answering the author's question: it will not flow from an illegal real to a legal real relationship. Aok you only want sex, this is ok, but if it's for something more, run away from emotionally insecure creatures with unspecified approaches, no matter how good you are ....
Your relationship is new, yours is hardly love, but rather love. On the other hand, I understand. You are alone and honest with her, she sleeps with her boyfriend and you feel sick. If you can, wait to see how the relationship will develop / she is obviously not sure about you, but you are not to blame for that, she is just doing her homework /. If not - break up with her. I do not see the point of such a relationship, which is not equal and has a dose of hypocrisy on one side. I think for her you are something like a freshener for her relationship. And what you think you are and feel - is another beer.
Author, it was a great pleasure to read everything you wrote. There is a lot of power in your words. You are totally captive to this woman. You are probably already injured, as you say. I must tell you that such strong emotions are not to be underestimated and you must double them. If this woman is valuable to you, gives you comfort, self-confidence and the meaning of living well, then you have to fight. Nowadays, it is very rare to find a woman with these qualities. But such women choose a lot and from old wounds sometimes can not open their hearts to strong emotions and long. If she plays in a waiting position, then it's time to attack hard. You know how!
Yes, it will overflow, from empty to empty. You bet on a lame horse.
If I'm in the place of "hers" and find out about you, I don't want to explain to you what will happen to you! Besides, this "shy" saffron will quickly find its place. :-)
I do not want to despair you, but I, as a colleague, am of the opinion that you are betting on a lame horse. Don't you think that in time it will happen to you, that you will be the one who is bored. A woman who cheats never stops :) In a word, the garbage, even in a bag, still remains garbage :)
There is a reason that keeps her from breaking up with her boyfriend. Whether it is his apartment, whether it is money, it is not known. You're just wasting your time. Give her time to leave. And if he doesn't want to, break up with her. And he's looking for a single woman.
The woman is used to her current boyfriend, and she doesn't know you well yet. She just doesn't take any chances. Fear of the unknown.
I think that towards the end of the story he came to the right conclusion. For a woman, security is something very important - she obviously finds it with her boyfriend, and you, so to speak, "use" it for your unsatisfied needs. You are obviously in love, this is more than clear, but it will be better to move on and not waste your time. The chick has apparently already made a plan for her life and has found entertainment while you sit and wait for her.
I'm in your situation. But I'm a woman. We have not had sex with a colleague and I do not intend to do until he shows that he has balls and stops holding on to his girlfriend's skirt and enjoys all the benefits. For your colleague, what can I say mercantile and obviously not so shy when she sleeps with two. They thought. If she procrastinates, then something serious is holding her back. She may love it, but have naughty sex. From him finances and security, and from you sex. :-) if he can, he'll drive it his whole life. IN
maybe she doesn't know you well yet and doesn't feel confident enough at an age in which the decisions she makes are fateful, ie difficult she may not yet be able to judge where you are and your relationships in her value system it is normal to be difficult to decide on your choice depends on whether you choose to deepen your relationship and at some point they take precedence in life and and get together or choose to separate wait and follow the trend it is not equal, goes on and on and on in the direction, but sooner or later it will emerge - - whether you deepen or move away if you move away, there is no point in waiting
From the author - We have already ended an unpleasant conversation with regulations a few days ago. Whatever it was, I endured my emotional damage, which will keep me hydrated for a long time to come. For my part, I really had an attitude that, although not offensive, was perhaps pretentious and intrusive, and I pushed her away, but I am direct and I state my intentions, and in relation to what was shown to me, and not what I invented, it was on her part. the constant unconsciousness and ambiguity in behavior and words - if you don't like something, you don't do it, to do it and to sew is childish and hypocritical. Let's just say that at first I was restrained, but after watching how sweet and sunken she was and after, and we spent the first few intimate nights together, I also sank into feelings for her. It later turned out that I had lied, and this was a pre-limited shelf life of a person with an extremely unbalanced attitude. Then I quote, words like: "only with you it happens like this, it does not exist in long-term relationships, you make me so much yours, I like to share with you, I love you, I melt in your hands, you transfer me to another place" followed " it's not my fault that I can't feel the same as you ”... I called her an infantile unconscious hypocrite and that's what I see. Such people not only break your heart, they kill your faith, but maybe I deserved it myself. you take me somewhere else ”followed“ I am not guilty that I cannot feel the same as you ”... I called her an infantile unconscious hypocrite and that is what I see. Such people not only break your heart, they kill your faith, but maybe I deserved it myself. you take me somewhere else ”followed“ I am not guilty that I cannot feel the same as you ”... I called her an infantile unconscious hypocrite and that is what I see. Such people not only break your heart, they kill your faith, but maybe I deserved it myself.
Welcome to earth. You did well.
Well done, it's always good to show common sense. You give her your heart on a baking sheet, she drools and pretends to be interesting. No need. To stay with the cuckold, you go ahead - with an unattached woman.