Hi, I wanted to share my problem too. I am 23 and I have a friend at 25, we have been together for 5 years. Our love was at first sight, we started going out and everything turned out very easily. He was by my side in my most difficult days, he supported me for everything, he was my first self. She bought me expensive and nice gifts, surprises, she never left me alone. I also tried to do my best. But we got lost somewhere here. I know that we cannot be the same as 5 years ago as our feelings. Lately we have been arguing all the same, at times we can't stand each other. I even prefer to stay at home in front of the laptop than to be with it. He was an athlete, he stopped playing sports and gained a lot of weight, anyway, I love him but I can't figure out how. I shiver when he touches me, we don't have sex I don't want to, for almost a year maybe once a month it happens and quickly, because I can't always refuse. I don't understand why I no longer want him, what is this love without wanting to be touched. And we don't go out the same way as before when we see each other we do the same thing and when I offer him to go somewhere a grumbling starts, for him the most pleasant thing is to sit down and eat on Saturday night, but yes I am keep the pounds! And I'm young, I want to go out and tell him, and some mean ones start, what did I want from him, to have found someone to take me out and that we were going to go ... yes, but I haven't been to a disco since last Christmas ... I hold on to him and I am grateful to him for everything he has done for me, I never want to hurt him because he said that without me he will die, he makes plans for the future and I blunt, I can't imagine life with him. .. nz ... The biggest problem is that I don't want it, and from there come many other problems. I will be grateful if someone gives me advice what to do I know that the problem is in me, how to fix things how to wish it again? Will things get better or are we postponing the end? I have never cheated on him, and I know that I will never find a person who loves me so unreservedly .... I am very confused ...
Answers 9
Exactly the same situation here with the difference that I am 21 and he is 26 and we have only been together for 2 years. I will follow the topic, unfortunately I have nothing to advise you.
The man is set on a family wave, and you are doing more youthful performances. At least from what you've written, it seems to me that you're at different stages of your life, which ... I don't know, it's hard to reconcile the two. Personally, I am also a homemaker and going out to discos and other nonsense is unpleasant and pointless, a waste of time. It's better for me, as you say, to cook and eat in front of the TV on Saturday night than to go to clubs. Don't blame him, he just doesn't like the things you obviously like. It's not anyone's fault or mistake, but I don't see how you can compromise once everyone is firm. If you don't want him to touch you, you seem to be answering the question of where things are going ... Maybe the habit and the feeling of duty keep you with him, but there seems to be no point in torturing yourself and wasting the boy's time. He will still be able to find a chick to eat with on Saturday night and that will be enough to make them happy. And you will party and no one will bother you. If you like this idea, obviously there is really no point in maintaining the relationship artificially.
Judging by the description, I think your relationship is just exhausted. Whoever has received from her to be grateful for what she has learned and to move forward, is my opinion.
I think things can be fixed, but only if you both make an effort. Your feelings are no longer the same, but there is nothing wrong with that. It is normal for feelings to change - no one loves in the same way during the different stages of a relationship. Sex is a problem. Contrary to popular belief, sex is very important in a relationship. All problems are solved in bed. If you don't want to be touched, even things won't end well. And the biggest problem is that you don't see him in the future. If you really feel that way, you better leave now. If you stay with him out of pity, a guilty conscience or gratitude, you will not be happy, nor will he be happy. I went through this ... 7 years, a lot of dreams and a lot of pain. In the end, I had no desire for sex, I had no idea how I would live with him for the rest of my life and have children with him. After a long ordeal, hundreds of conversations between the two, and no effort on his part, I packed my bags and left. The pain is tearing. There are times when you want to die. But in most moments I feel free and confident in myself, in my decision, calm, balanced, even happy. And it helps me because it shows me that I did the right thing. Why don't you run away for a while? I mean go on vacation for a week - ALONE. There are many cheap bungalows and chalets - find something that is close to you and in your pocket. Don't tell your friend where you are. Ask him not to call you - you look for him if you need to hear him. Give yourself some time, read, think, write, cry - whatever you want. Cleanse your brain of everything and everyone. This will make it easier for you to understand what is happening to you. I wish you success with the decision dear.
I think number 4 is very right and gives you a great idea with the holiday .. stay a little alone and clear your mind ... if you want to have fun find your girlfriends and go out at least once a week to discos .. hem you will take your emotions .. you will both feel your freedom and you will have your relationship .. and if he can't sit at home .. the important thing is not to spoil your relationship ..
The dude has started to pamper you a lot, to play your whistle a lot, he seems to have lost his manhood. A man should control things, not give you expensive gifts. Plus, he should have no problem letting you go anywhere if he's confident. You also say that he stopped exercising, which further reduced testosterone in his body. There's just no chemistry because the dude has turned into a pussy. BUT .... so was I, so I know! After 2 years of relationship, I was so obsessed with the girl that I just made plans for how we are going to live together and have children and so on. And at that moment, she served me that she wanted us to break up. And I came to the conclusion that relationships with women should be relationships with WOMEN, not with WOMEN "at least not until the time comes for family and children. Because when you get obsessed with a woman and you become a pussy!
You better split up. You both want radically different things and you are different as characters. Not in every case 'opposites attract' leads to a good end. Your case is a total example of how some people came together but deviated from the path they thought they were both following, simply because the goals are different. Your man is obviously a homemaker while you're dating and flirting, just tell him you want to break up because you have no feelings and you want your daily life and evenings to be different from now and that's it. than to bother both.
thank you all for the opinions, nom 4-I will try to follow your advice, because it is very difficult to tell a person you have been with for 5 years that you are parting ...
Give yourself some time to part for a week, it will show where things are going! We did so and realized that we are fighting over everyday life and we are together again! One does not realize what one has until one is about to lose it!