Hello. Thanks in advance for your attention. I am a 32 year old woman. During these years, a lot of things went through my head. None of my close relatives I can count on are alive anymore. A ten-year relationship with a man who left me with a bunch of responsibilities and a bunch of abortions and low self-esteem. There was always some reason why right now was not the time for children .... And maybe there is a God that I did not give birth to this man, only I know how much harassment and how many infidelities I endured. With thousands of efforts, police, quarrels I managed to get rid of this man. I even had to quit my job. I had many difficult moments alone, but I managed to get back on my feet. I met a man I never even dreamed of, I'm happy, I'm insanely happy. I've never been in such a hurry to go home to see the most smiling person in the world ... and BEAM-HE CANNOT HAVE CHILDREN ... We have been together for about a year and a half, we have been trying for about six months, it didn't work. It was a terribly difficult conversation for me, but we discussed it and examined ourselves, and in the end the result showed that there could be no children ... When I understood, my stomach became like a matchbox. You have no idea with what flame in his eyes he spoke of how he wanted children from me ... his child his family to give final meaning to his life. I also don't have children of my own. Many of you will say that there is a solution - in vitro, adoption, of course - this is also a solution. But you have no idea how hard it is to watch the best man in the world so sad ... and in the end the result showed that there could be no children ... When I understood, my stomach became like a matchbox. You have no idea with what flame in his eyes he spoke of how he wanted children from me ... his child his family to give final meaning to his life. I also don't have children of my own. Many of you will say that there is a solution - in vitro, adoption, of course - this is also a solution. But you have no idea how hard it is to watch the best man in the world so sad ... and in the end the result showed that there could be no children ... When I understood, my stomach became like a matchbox. You have no idea with what flame in his eyes he spoke of how he wanted children from me ... his child his family to give final meaning to his life. I also don't have children of my own. Many of you will say that there is a solution - in vitro, adoption, of course - this is also a solution. But you have no idea how hard it is to watch the best man in the world so sad ...
Answers 11
Always ... by law it will happen to a good person :) You know I don't believe what you say ... God knows his job and there is probably a reason for it to happen .. I have a familiar married couple who were married 11 years without a child ... finally people reconciled, adopted a child .. and were the happiest parents in the world .. there is not a year and the woman gets pregnant .. There is no such family .. from wherever they go they infect others with smiles. maybe the case is the same ... and maybe God wants to give a chance to live first to a child whose parents do not want him and then to reward you for charity :) I send you many hugs ... live and enjoy life. don't burden your everyday life unnecessarily :) Petya
A difficult situation, but what I would advise you is for your friend to do all possible research and if he has the financial ability to consult a good specialist in the field, medicine does not stand still and it is possible at some point to get pregnancy - but he must be aware of exactly what his problem is. If there is no result, you yourself mention the option of adoption or artificial insemination - this will again be your child, because you will raise and educate him.
I know it's hard, but you have to be strong. If you really think this is the MAN for you, then be united and think soberly about what can be done. There are a lot of options as you said. A friend of mine with the same problem unfortunately resigned herself and left things like this. Good luck !!!
I've always wondered how women like you allow a bunch of abortions, how after the first one you don't avoid it, or did you hope that this gentleman would want children? I'm unlikely to get an answer, but either way you're getting your punishment now. One thinks with one's head before doing anything.
Do not give up! My cousin had been told the same thing. 2 years after they adopted a boy, his wife became pregnant and gave birth to a boy, and after another year - another. Now they are the happiest parents in the world of 3 boys. Ah, his two sons have "skinned" him. Surely the Lord did so so that he would not doubt that they were not his. Who knows! :) :))))
there is nothing to say, such women are rare today. Congratulations to the author and I hope you women realize that because you have endured for years some balaclavas killing their complexes on you and only then you overestimate that it is most important that your husband loves you and not whether there is a jeep. (as most women do)
№ 5 is right. How is it possible to allow a bunch of abortions ... not that I judge you, but God knows his job and punishes ... abortion is a very bad thing and is never without consequences in one form or another. Everything comes back sooner or later, remember that well. I will say again that I am not judging you, but I have the feeling that you are trying to pretend to be a "victim", given that you are to blame for the abortions. And what against adoption, don't these abandoned children deserve a family? It is easy to love our own children, but others are not to our liking, our own is different ... open your heart to the invisible, God forbid that one day you become pregnant by a wonderful man and your dream comes true.
Hello, Author, sometimes I think that women are great masochists and we tolerate everything, and when we realize ... it's too late .... Whether a child is yours or not is biological - know: one grows in the womb, and the other in the heart. So the children are ours! So people take a dog and become attached to it - do you? Whatever happens, whatever you decide - your love will grow stronger because you look in one direction!
Hello! I was faced with your dilemma for several months until the problem of my pregnancy was established - then my husband and I talked calmly and decided that whoever's "fault" we would drive forward - in vitro or adoption. I am convinced that I would love a child I did not give birth to. As long as the person next to you is kind and smiling, you should not give up the joy of fatherhood, even of a non-biological child. My advice is to talk openly - maybe he is sad and because he is not sure how you will react further, whether the problem will not affect your relationship.
Don't despair. I guess how hard it is for you, but in this case you have to be stronger and give him back his self-confidence. Inspire him, show him that you are ready to fight to regain his faith. Try options with medication, in vitro ... Not everything in this life becomes easy, unfortunately. Glad that you met him and you are together .. And if you truly love each other you will overcome obstacles .. Good luck !!!
Number 8 is not trying to explain to her we will not get an answer