Hello, sharers and advisors! A 29-year-old man writes to you. I am writing to you because after searching in the search engine I did not find a case similar to mine. There were couples who, according to them, rarely had sex, such as once a week or once a month. My story is different. My wife and I have been together for 5 years, we have a 2-year-old daughter. We get along great, we hardly fight, from time to time we have an argument, but nothing significant. We work, look after the little one, travel from time to time, an absolutely normal average family. BUT we haven't had sex in 6 months ... At first we're both not very sexual. Even at the beginning of our relationship, the sucker was something like 2-3 to 4 times a week. Then it began to decrease to about 2-3 times a month. But we both didn't complain. Sex was rare, but it was quality, passionate, intimate, even perverted. Anyway, as you noticed, we have a small child, and as you all know, with a baby, sex decreases even more. There was no sex before or after the birth, but that's understandable. Then when we got into a more normal rhythm and when she recovered, the sex was the same as before 2-3 times a month. And so the frequency slowly decreased, until we reached today, when we had not had sex for about half a year. As I told you, everything between us is normal, we live in understanding and harmony, we have fun, we travel, we share, we enjoy the little one, all this, but without intimacy. We only kiss for "Hello" and "Bye", but the way a mother kisses her son or a daughter kisses her father. After so long a lack of sex, and at the same time a good relationship, I feel my wife now as a best friend or as a sister. I've always heard that in most cases, many years of family life lead to this, but I did not expect it to happen so early. 2-3 months ago I raised the topic one night, I told her that I was having sex, that I missed her, that I thought it was not normal to be so young and that there was no intimacy between us. She agreed with me, pointing out as a problem on her part that after the birth she did not feel as beautiful as before. I don't think so, and I try to tell and show it to her. I compliment her from time to time, give her flowers, even at the beginning of this "dry" period I tried to seduce her with kisses and pressure, but without success. I explained to her that in addition to loving her, I really liked her appearance and didn't see any change after the birth, and I also explained to her that when you love a person, appearance, especially during sex, does not matter. Those more mature than you will understand me. One day shortly after that conversation, there was some progress. She was in a cycle, but she told me that she dreamed of having sex and she really wanted to, and she said that when she finished she would do it more often. The next day I had a surprise for me - a whistle, I felt like a virgin on his first trip. And then it gave me a little hope, but 3 months have passed since then, and 6 months since the last real sex, and I already despaired and decided to write here. I'm already bored with porn, despite my principles, I find myself looking at beautiful women on the street, and I feel bad about it, but I lack sex and intimacy. I don't try at home anymore, because she either sleeps a lot, or she's very tired, or something hurts, and it kills a person's desire. I know what I have to do, I need to talk to her again and solve this problem together, but I decided to ask you too. People who have sex every day, or teens who think that having a wife will "fuck" her every day, please do not blame me. I expect advice from people who understand at least a little and get closer to the situation. Thank you in advance! Controversial day!
Answers 5
If I'm on the same bed with my wife ... She doesn't want to, I'll attack her haha, well, so ... While she's sleepy, I'll grab her, I'll slap her, I'll touch her and that's it. Now, however, if he does not want to and pulls, this is another question
Try to go somewhere for one night, if there are grandmothers leave the child for a while. You need a conversation, and does she want you to have a mistress, how much should I leave you like that. We also don't do it often, but 6 m is a long time. If it persists, another woman is likely to appear in the picture. Does she want that?
Go somewhere just the two of you. At least for 1-2 evenings.
And we sleep on the same bed, but for 2 years nothing ... Amy I caught my mistress, sorry. Which, however, makes me feel emotionally alienated from my wife.
I think a lot of people are like that. And my husband and I don't do it often - 1.2 times a month. We have 2 children, he works almost constantly and the work bothers him ..., often tired, angry with the children, and if we quarrel once a month the sex is gone ... We used to do it twice a week and I thought it was small. I had become a little more insistent, and he began to grumble that sex was not everything. I'm finally tired. If I want to do it, if I want to give it to him and so on. In general, we want each other once a month. It took a lot of my nerves, a lot of whining. I no longer want it as before, but I'm happy with it, it satisfies me and I'm not looking for another. The stupid thing is that he is quite passive, if I want we will do it, but I'm tired of being active .. Like nothing in another 2.3 years we will hit rock bottom ... Then I don't know. I would like to believe that we will not cheat, but we will find a solution. For you author, I can offer a solution - tell her directly that you are tormented by this lack, that you are being harassed. Either take action or bear the consequences. It can't be that way. A couple must have intimacy to maintain balance. It has no right to deprive you, provided you have taken it forever. Now, if she doesn't want sex for 5 years, will you stay like that ...? He will find a way to make things right, if not the consequences. I have always been against infidelity, but I do not see how a healthy man, in his prime, or a woman, will lose sex for a long time, in the presence of a partner, without him having health problems ... Success. And say if you fixed things. It has no right to deprive you, provided you have taken it forever. Now, if she doesn't want sex for 5 years, will you stay like that ...? He will find a way to make things right, if not the consequences. I have always been against infidelity, but I do not see how a healthy man, in his prime, or a woman, will lose sex for a long time, in the presence of a partner, without him having health problems ... Success. And say if you fixed things. It has no right to deprive you, provided you have taken it forever. Now, if she doesn't want sex for 5 years, will you stay like that ...? He will find a way to make things right, if not the consequences. I have always been against infidelity, but I do not see how a healthy man, in his prime, or a woman, will lose sex for a long time, in the presence of a partner, without him having health problems ... Success. And say if you fixed things.