Workplace Relationship - Stalemate

   Dude, I made a similar mistake and I can tell there's nothing wrong with that. In general, I have always been against relationships with married women, but then I had a lot of disappointments and I said to myself "that's enough, I'm starting like the others". Well, I started, but I quickly realized that there was nothing good about it. You did well to stop in time. Forget it and watch your life, it's full of single girls outside.

   Don't you think that you are acting as an absolute egoist by insisting on the resumption of this relationship? Well, you're really ruining the family .... I think she's aware of the risk her family is taking and she's decided to stop while it's time. I guess she's holding on to her husband if she doesn't even talk to you. Leave the woman alone .... act like a mature man. In conclusion, I will tell you in two sentences that my husband got involved with an older colleague years ago, and she was more insistent ... just like you. The consequences were not very pleasant. It's a very stupid mistake to make your own bread ... you remember what, don't you?

   See what - always behave correctly with people and share with them what is bothering you. And they should treat you as they can - as much as their mind, conscience and abilities allow.

   "If I don't do anything to clarify the situation, the feeling of something unexplained, of my guilt, will get stuck in me and it will weigh on me." ... "I tried to talk - he doesn't want to". What you have to clarify, the situation is clearer than lunch - and your wife has clarified it from everywhere. The woman is married, what do you have to clarify? Where are you pushing between the slaps? Are you going to ruin her family? Accept that you were just an adventure, that if not the man and she could be a bigger adventurer than you. And another, knowing that your angels are weak, do not deal with bound women! Wonderful

   leave things as they are. don't look for her and don't ask for explanations, by the nature of your relationship such an end is inevitable, even though she could really talk to you. otherwise it is clear what she was looking for: family breakdown, thrill, pleasant experiences, and she obviously found them. I guess she pulled away because she sensed that you were starting to sink into her, or maybe she had started to sink and applied her brakes in time. the woman is obviously experienced in such activities, so do not dig any more, keep your fond memories. F42

   Dude, look what I'm gonna tell you. Take men's things and leave her. You pretend there was nothing. I was in your situation with a married woman - it was not a rumor that he was divorcing because of me, that I was the best, etc., and then he blew a lot of smoke without any explanation. I will tell you one thing - always judge women by their deeds, not by their words, in words they can promise generously, make compliments in order to have someone or something ... and then the opinion changes as if nothing has been said. You don't look for the reasons - the woman can always lie to you, and you can understand what is changing. Find someone free so that you can be calm and without tension. This type of relationship is not for sensitive choir people and the unmarried is always fucked up. For these reasons, family colleagues make hints to me, and I am a complete pass, which irritates them, but I can manipulate them.

   Familiar story, you will achieve nothing, leave it, forget it and watch your life! Most women do this and then we have a strange feeling of guilt and ambiguity. That's their goal, if you haven't figured it out by now. Even if they are guilty (as in your case), they turn things around so much (because you see they were the weaker sex) that we are all guilty and in your case you feel exactly as you should, ie as she wants. Know from now on, don't expect anything good from her. And here I can share my modest experience. I was in a similar situation, but unlike you, I left before we got to the situation of avoiding and not knowing each other. So I advise you not to leave work, because as you say to yourself in a good job and a good position, and in my case I was like that and still decided to leave, but that's another topic. So how can you proceed to survive in this situation. Keep acting like nothing happened (I know it's hard, but believe me it will work) even treat an idea better than before and for a cover start behaving like a gentleman to all the women in the office without you choose pleasant, unpleasant. Believe me you will drive her crazy! Concerning the conversations on the topic of you two, just forget it, get it out of your head, I know you have a million and one questions, but just forget it, you won't get answers for nothing but because there are no meaningful ones. I'm pretty sure she'll look for you again, and then you have to decide for yourself whether to give in or pretend you don't notice her hints. I know that no matter how much I convince you that it's better not to give in, you won't listen to me. so your job, your head is yours and then again you will suffer to break it, but so it is when there are feelings. I wish you success and I will be happy to know how you turned things around in your favor ...

   From the author Thanks to those who responded, you gave valuable advice, I appreciate even the critical comments, I hope there will be more. I am especially happy for №7 and №9. №9 is as if he expressed my thoughts - how many times have I thought that women deliberately want to leave us with a sense of guilt, to look for them later, and eventually if they want to return, to always be available to them and therefore leave with silence. It's hard to pretend there was nothing, but I'll try. I have seen in these situations that negligence and nepotism help very well. There is really no point in leaving work, clenching my teeth and pretending that nothing happened according to the scheme described by №9. From some of the women's comments, I understand that family life is almost an excuse for everything and you can do all sorts of things, go back to your families and then look for no explanation ...

   Because of naive people like you, women think that everything is allowed to them. What kind of attitude did you expect from a married woman? She makes a fool of her husband, and you, and who knows how many other bastards. At 27 you act like a boy, grow up and realize that the least a woman can give you is a hole.

   Relationships of this kind are often even the most common phenomenon. I know from personal experience that they do not bring anything good. Therefore, the author is well that things are over. My advice is not to feel any remorse and not to try to clarify things. They will always remain unclear. Don't leave work for that, if that's the only reason. You should not live in such things.

   From the author: It is clear that I did not expect who knows what attitude from a married woman, I thought it was just sex, and only once, but ... One can not forbid his feelings and know when they will appear, especially after the woman in this case shows a special attitude, pampers you, compliments and makes you feel good, and you missed that at the moment. Yes, it may seem gullible on my part to believe beautiful words, but they were backed up by action then, and things seemed to be more than just sex and there could be more. In my opinion, feelings do not ask who is married, engaged and who is not, they just appear at some point. There are women who grab you with vision, charm and intellect so much that you have to be made of iron to resist. The paradox is that I was not the more active party, I just took the first step, from there she took things, and I was reserved, until the moment when I somehow felt that I had feelings ... That's why I'm surprised by the sudden withdrawal, but as I understand it, I'm not the only one, this is what both women and men do when they separate. In most cases, such connections have a painted end, but it does not matter how complicated this end is to leave fewer marks on both sides. From silence comes the problem of any kind of relationship - people don't talk, they don't say what's bothering them and they don't like it, they break up and then they regret it because it turns out that the misunderstanding was a small thing. All couples need to be more open in their relationships, no matter what they are, to share and talk, and also not to utter words and promises that they cannot keep. And I'm thinking, and I'm pretty sure he'll be looking for me again sooner or later, and it will be a test of my will and whether I have learned my lesson. I don't know what you mean №12 with the fact that a hole is the least that a woman can give - then what is the most that can be obtained from her? In this case, I did not succumb to the temptation just because of sex, but because of the thrill of overall communication (it happened, but I am not a supporter of sex for one night, for one time and I always like the woman as a person, not as an object), which maybe it's the problem, because if I only thought about sex in this case, I wouldn't be experiencing the negative emotions I'm experiencing now. Really, I have to learn to be less sensitive and not live that much. what a woman can give - then what is the most that can be gained from her? In this case, I did not succumb to the temptation just because of sex, but because of the thrill of overall communication (it happened, but I am not a supporter of sex for one night, for one time and I always like the woman as a person, not as an object), which maybe it's the problem, because if I only thought about sex in this case, I wouldn't be experiencing the negative emotions I'm experiencing now. Really, I have to learn to be less sensitive and not live that much. what a woman can give - then what is the most that can be gained from her? In this case, I did not succumb to the temptation just because of sex, but because of the thrill of overall communication (it happened, but I am not a supporter of sex for one night, for one time and I always like the woman as a person, not as an object), which maybe it's the problem, because if I only thought about sex in this case, I wouldn't be experiencing the negative emotions I'm experiencing now. Really, I have to learn to be less sensitive and not live that much. which I am experiencing now. Really, I have to learn to be less sensitive and not live that much. which I am experiencing now. Really, I have to learn to be less sensitive and not live that much.

   I wonder how you can trust such a woman - isn't it clear to you that if she lies to her husband with whom she is connected by a common home, children, and many other things, she will inevitably lie to you too ... Who are you? Some colleague with whom she has decided to have fun in order to escape for a short time from the prose of family life ... Remember - whoever lies and betrays her husband ... or the wife will lie and betray you too. Whoever cheats on you will easily cheat on you too ...

   And what do you want her to tell you and explain to you - that she felt that things were getting worse, and she didn't want to ruin her family ... She just calmed down a bit, had fun, wanted to feel wanted, and so on. n., but that's all. There is no future with you, and he does not want to have, that's it. The bad thing is that you are an amorous and emotional young man .... and you have taken everything inwardly, and you should not. What did you expect ... it was clear that sooner or later this would happen. You throw that poop out of your thoughts and look at your life ahead. You don't need this one, there are as many girls as you want for you.

   14, and I have wondered how there can be people who believe that there can be something serious between them and their mistress who is cheating on her husband. So, she has no remorse and no conscience, and she will not cheat on him.

   From the author: 14 and 16, you may not have understood me. It is clear that it is very likely that whoever cheats once will be willing to do it again. It is not a question of whether he will cheat on me or not. I wanted to say that each case of infidelity is individual and should not be viewed in general, and all women who do it should not be judged strictly without knowing the reasons. In my opinion, there are several types of adulterous women - the first type - in search of emotions, thrills and adventure out of boredom and monotony, the second type - out of lack of love, affection and respect from their husbands, the third type - to benefit from their lovers, fourth type - whether they are free in the family to do whatever they want, fifth type - marriages that are only formal and long ago the feelings and love have flown away from them, women or men have their own rhythm of life separately and accordingly try to seek their happiness elsewhere, find someone and divorce, because they have the right to do so if they do not feel happy, and the sixth type - as the fifth, but without intention to divorce for household reasons - children, property, loans, etc. I am not inclined to condemn women of the second and fifth types, as I would condemn others, they do it in their quest for something better. You will say - why women do not divorce and then look for - well, it's simple, they want to have a safe ground under their feet, many men do it too, I'm not saying that's right, but it's mass. I have reason to think that in my case it was a woman of the fifth type with an exhausted marriage, who was looking for a serious relationship in order to grow into cohabitation or a new marriage, although I am not 100% sure of that, but that was the logic of things. She may have stopped if she thought I wasn't mature enough and responsible for a family, if she expected to see me behave like that, I know, but I didn't think she was the type of woman who cheats just for fun. I think there was a deeper purpose. Do you think it's a mistake to stand between two people when everything is over between them? Rather, now my thought is focused on something else now - how to stop thinking about her, in my case wedge wedge kills with new relationships or sex does not always help, and we see each other every day, and I feel awkward and worried in her presence and I can't concentrate well on my work. I see two options - either to set myself up for complete nepotism and not notice her at all and to talk to her in a purely formal and official way, which will be difficult, or to tell her all that, which has accumulated inside me, which in turn hides the risk of unforeseen consequences, emotional conflicts and those at work, but it will make it easier for me and I would forget it faster. I took in not so much the end, if that withdrawal means the end at all, because that is not clear and tomorrow she can look for me again, but the silent approach with which she wants to impose guilt and responsibility on me, and I want to show her without forcing myself that this was not the way and that I will regret that we will not be useful as friends.

   In such a situation alone, no matter what is written, no one will understand exactly how you feel at the moment ..

   From the author: №18, what do you do about it, how do you deal with the situation? Is she pulling, what behavior are you taking? For me, things are that my mind tells me to forget it quickly, that we are different characters, there is no future, etc., I want to distance myself maybe, but my heart does not give. It's hard to forget someone you see every day and to whom you have a physical attraction. Whoever speaks, it is difficult to communicate indifferently and purely professionally or formally with someone to whom there was a great and shared thrill, passion, etc. The recipe may be time, hobbies and the emergence of a new, also great thrill.