Hello, I have been planning to write here for a long time, but I never dare. However, I thought it was necessary to share my opinion. For almost two years I have been studying and studying the relationships, marriages or cohabitation of couples with different religious views. I don't consider it a job, because I don't have any professional qualification, but I don't point it out as another waste of time. I like to delve deeply into things and discover the essential, which is the factor in almost any such relationship. I have examined the cases of almost 30 families of different ages, 15 on a family basis and 18 in non-committal relationships, on the basis of which I will present my conclusion. I can say quite openly and without any doubt that of all these couples, only one lives happily, and not in the full sense of the word, this happens at the cost of many compromises. Islam and Christianity are two very close religions, but of a radically opposite nature. Yes, friendship is possible, the relationship is really strong, but in love the future is disastrous. A clear example is the man and woman I met and I was quite impressed as individuals and people, but unfortunately they both saw that their love is not a fairy tale. She was a 26-year-old Muslim, he was a 30-year-old Christian. They met at university, first they were friends, and then their love ignited. At first they were very happy, they did not pay attention to their religions, but internally each of them deeply valued what he believed in. They did not have sex, she wanted to be a virgin until the wedding, that was her only condition.
Married, there was no obstacle on either side of the family, but the harmony was yet to fade. They had a child, a boy. The man really wanted to bear the name of his grandfather, who was George, the woman did not agree with this decision, but still accepted, because she had also set a condition in the beginning, now they were equal. Two years later, Kemal, the new child in the family, appeared, this time named after his other grandfather. Both boys grew up in a very confused world. One was circumcised and brought up according to Islamic values, the other was baptized according to Christian values. Gradually, a front line was formed and the children were separated, one with his mother, the other with his father. They began to hate, criticize, and look for weaknesses in the opposite religion. The couple addressed the children with "your son". Love was long gone, the understanding was gone, and marriage was doomed to failure. They separated by mutual consent and each took the desired child. They loved both very much but felt closer to the boy of their religion. The children still can't stand it, even though they go to the same school. And their parents have new relationships, this time with members of their religion, and say they are happy. They say that the biggest mistake they have made is to create a family in which there is no unity. This is just one story, but all the examples end with this end-parting.
As much as you love a person, as much as you think you are happy, the pride and environment in which you grew up, the way you were raised, and what you believe in cannot change. No one can give up his beliefs, even if he does, there is always something left that torments him, and over time the pain increases. I respect people, I don't mind mixed marriages, but life shows otherwise, no matter how hard you try, you can't escape reality! Do not doom your future children to misery, do not doom you! When creating families, do it with people of your religion!
Answers 15
I support the author.
Let's now research how many percent of single-religious marriages are happy in the long run and see the difference in percentages. I don't think it will be very big. When performing an analysis, a control analysis is also performed in the absence of the presumed cause, but under equal other conditions, in order to isolate the other possible causes. By your logic, if all serial killers drink water, it means that water makes us serial killers. But do the others who are not serial killers drink or not water? Not to mention that the number 30 is by no means a representative sample, guaranteeing a minor statistical error. When doing such analyzes, scientists study at least a few thousand, if not tens of thousands of cases to avoid statistical error or at least minimize it. I have about 10 known such families and almost all of them are happy, and the few, who are not, are not happy for completely different reasons. I myself had a relationship with a non-believer and this was never a problem, we broke up for other reasons.
Well, then I'll part with my friend if we don't succeed in the future! This is only one point of view, only in a family where the woman is a Muslim and there is no guarantee that the same thing cannot happen to people with the same religion, how many Bulgarians get divorced ... I think a lot. In the relations between two people a misunderstanding can always arise, the Bulgarian men have a different mentality than the foreigners. I have a relationship with a foreigner and I dare say that he is much more open and understood as a way of thinking, maybe this is a separate case, but he has a very calm character, a very moderate person as emotions unlike us Bulgarians. I would never see religion as an obstacle to our relationship, compromises must be made on both sides, and various details must be discussed in advance at the time of marriage, for example, I agree that boys should be circumcised, and I don't see anything wrong with that. I also had a relationship with Bulgarians and if I meet a Bulgarian who will treat me well like a Muslim no matter what his character is, but of course he will prefer a man of my nationality, but our men behave very badly with an apology, they have no respect. I have only looked at one man as my dream partner and it is still so, but he abandoned me and is Bulgarian by the way. Well, he is probably busy, so he will have to make a different choice of requests. For now in the face of my foreigner I see is a serious man who aims to be with me and no religious nonsense can distract me from him, if he later changes his attitude we will separate or divorce, I do not care about the human opinion.
I completely agree with what was written. I have only one example of such a successful marriage from my close circle, but the woman who was a Bulgarian-Mohammedan was baptized before the marriage. However, her family never forgave her and she severed all ties with them.
It's not about Islam and Christianity, but my best friend, who is a Satanist, just like me ... she's 29, I'm 21, we're not teenagers and we know what we're doing and what we believe in. This woman married a zealous Christian studying theology and they have been together for five years and are very happy and harmonious. Faith is a problem when you make it a problem. My friend's beliefs are very far from mine and I do not understand them, but I respect them, as I respect the faith of everyone else to the extent that it does not harm or hurt others.
"I have examined the cases of almost 30 families of different ages, 15 on a family basis and 18 in non-committal relationships, on the basis of which I will present my conclusion. I can state quite openly and without any doubt," Takaaaaa, and now the author say you are the EXACT method by which you came to this conclusion! How will you GUARANTEE that you (OUTDOOR) know the deepest and most intimate things in a couple's life and the true level of whiskey happiness of these people !? Since you are so categorical and your conclusions, I strongly insist on answering your questions!
My sister is a Christian, she is married to a Buddhist. She has never been happier. One of my close friends is a Muslim, her husband is a Christian. One of the happiest couples I've seen is. I am an atheist, my husband is a Christian. We are a wonderful family and I never had anything against his beliefs, nor did he have a problem with mine. So what was he shouting? :) F, 41.
My sister has been happily married to a Muslim for 11 years, my best friend has been living with a Jew for 5 years and has a wonderful boy, my close relatives have married Protestants - also happily, most of my university colleagues - which for a Muslim, which for a Muslim for a Catholic - I don't know if they have religious frictions. At work I have a fellow Buddhist married to a Bulgarian - there is no more wonderful family. Bad examples: countless fleeting relationships of girlfriends, acquaintances, personal stories heard and unheard. How and why? Always different reasons, but for religious problems I know only the dirt of the parents before marriage. Me? I have been with representatives of different religions, but if I have had disappointments it is because of personal qualities and somewhat cultural differences, but never because of religious contradictions. My current friend is a Protestant, but in fact I know this fact indirectly, we have never talked about religions. From the point of view of my own and other people's life experience, I know that ethnic and cultural differences, shared and unshared values and views of personal peace are a much more serious barrier after marriage, but in the first place are always human conscience and shared feelings.
And try not to shake hands with a nigger, your hand will turn black. Is such narrow-mindedness possible ...
It's up to the people. I have a Muslim husband, we have been together for many years ... we live happily in his country, he also lived in Bulgaria. He loves me, he holds me, he supports me, he tries not to miss me and the child. He doesn't make me jealous (he says he trusts me) he doesn't tell me how to dress, where to go or who to go out with. He never imposed his religion and views on the subject on me. As for the child, she bears both Bulgarian and Turkish names, speaks both languages, knows the traditions of both peoples, and one day she will decide for herself what to choose as a Muslim or a Christian. I personally was not baptized at my mother's discretion. So it's all about man and good luck.
I would rather add, the intellectual level of the people. However, at this time, young people are more like the time in which they live than their parents, ie they wear less than those young people 100 years ago, they are excited about other things, there are many more things in common and especially living in a neutral civilized state, things are radically different. There will always be differences and problems, but each case is for itself, in my opinion.
First read the comment of №9 again - in order to have a reliable study you need to analyze at least 200-300 couples, separately do the same with couples with the same beliefs. And then it will be more statistically true (and again not 100%). And when you see how many divisions there are between the supposedly identical ones, you will change your opinion. And of course you need at least 5-6 years of constant observation and research to give a valuable conclusion. Otherwise, it's all up to the people. Not to mention how many couples stand and endure "in the name of the children", "what people will say", "not to be left alone" and the like. I'm not saying that your example didn't happen, just a cardinal conclusion based on it and 10 more cases cannot be made. According to a survey, 30% of Bulgarian women and children are victims of domestic violence. 30% makes 1 million out of nearly 4 million Bulgarian women. And you interviewed 30? She guessed for herself
The Russians say: In taste and color, comrade net, which means that everyone has their own perceptions of things, as well as traditions. The point is to have tolerance and not to crush the human soul, which is unique and has nothing to do with opposition to religions. When it is widely called from advertisements do this or that, eat what we offer you, buy a sausage or do not eat what you are, or lose weight with what you are, then it is an interference in the human soul. It is the same in the family - one wants one (because it is so scientific), the other wants another (because it is so learned) and they have no point of contact, except the sexual point, which leads to additional misunderstandings. Therefore, it is not the religions that are to blame, but the upbringing and patience to endure, and what is incomprehensible. Because just then, one learns, school is a lifetime, not just when you finish 12th grade. And children are made with a lot of love, not with passion and purpose. Just to add that when something is said (whether true or not) and repeated by television, newspapers, the Internet, neighbors and more. - it becomes news, sensation, war, flood, tsunami, earthquake and what not, and when you look out the window everything is fine, everyone is with his worries. So where is the truth then? Religions are a fabrication of humanity in order to have communications between its various members, for better or for worse - for everyone to draw their own conclusions. So where is the truth then? Religions are a fabrication of humanity in order to have communications between its various members, for better or for worse - for everyone to draw their own conclusions. So where is the truth then? Religions are a fabrication of humanity in order to have communications between its various members, for better or for worse - for everyone to draw their own conclusions.
I want to raise my children in Hindu traditions and those of other Eastern religions such as Taoism and Buddhism - lighting sticks, oil lamps, wreaths of flowers, touching the feet of the elderly as a sign of respect, meditations, mantras, purification of the chakras , rituals, etc.
And you, as you are "believers" ...