Your Parents Are Not Eternal!

   Come on, enough drama and manipulation with guilt and duty - drama, drama, drama. I hope that by respect and love you do not mean calling them every day and going to them every week - they look after us, we our children.

   Very well written! I hadn't thought about it before, but a month ago they found my father's cancer. It's a pity that something like this had to happen to me to start appreciating what I have. People, sometimes your parents may not be perfect, but be glad that there is someone to go home to when you are disappointed in everyone else. Make your parents happy, I'm sure they will enjoy a little and do not make them sad :)

   How touching. Immeasurable and unconditional love - in return only love, respect, proper attention, no resentment, no sadness. What do we do if for the parent it means to call every day, to report on everything you do, to respond to the second of his every whim, to have lunch with him every weekend, to ignore your partner, your children and yourself, to leave him to insult and crush you, your partner or your child, to let him interfere, to allow you to come home uninvited, etc.? You have to listen and perform, because when he dies you will feel guilty? Really? If you neglect the child and the partner, what - you should not have guilt because they did not create you? Just because someone has become a parent does not mean that they have automatically become a good person and that communicating with them adds value to you. By the way, the animals have sex and then "breathe life", take care and protect the young, but let them grow, separate and have young in turn. What does it mean to sit hungry to have for the child? I keep thinking that children are made when you have the financial means, not so that there is someone to look after you in your old age. To fight with teeth and nails - I guess you mean the normal - the baby is born, you change diapers, feed, educate. It brings joy, it is not the most difficult and sacrificial thing in the world. Don't make it like that! This topic is pure manipulation through guilt and duty! A good parent would never jingle such things, but on the contrary - when love is unconditional, you do not use it as a bargaining chip. Are you really ok to be visited out of guilt and duty, not because you're a cool person, offer support, understanding, do you add value? When you die, is it really most important that your children regret the time they didn't spend with you instead of overcoming it? With such stories this is achieved! I love and respect my parents and thank God they are alive, but they would never tell me what they did for me and what they should get in return.

   That's right man, thanks!

   That's right, but you can say the same about your grandparents, and in my case, it was my grandparents who raised me. And now they are gone and I miss them madly! And ours, I'm not saying they didn't love me, but they were so busy with their own careers and development that I only saw them in the evening for a while, while my grandmother was the one trying to explain the lessons from the textbook to me, no matter that at times it was difficult for her to understand them.

   2 and 3, obviously you did not understand anything from the text! Come on, when you are left alone, without anyone to help you, let's see if you will not appreciate what you have already lost and have a different opinion. Nowhere is it said to constantly report or call your parents 50 times a day, but to think about them regularly, to visit them, to take care of them when they are in need, to call them and listen to them. I recently lost one of my closest and dearest people in the family and now I deeply regret all the moments when I hurt and neglected him. There is no greater pain than knowing that you can no longer get it back. Therefore, people, evaluate your loved ones, even for the smallest thing they do, because then it will be too late and there is no going back. I would give anything to get back the most beloved woman in the world, everything!

   But when you have children, you have to love them much more. Think about what you would do if you have a child and your parents really want to stay in Bulgaria after graduation, and you and they want to go abroad. You will listen to them naturally. If a person thinks that he will love his parents more than his husband / wife and children, it is better not to have a family. And just because your parents made you doesn't mean you always have to do what they tell you and call them. What many parents need to understand is that the most important thing they need to teach their children is to be independent.

   I'm tired of this sense of guilt and duty! We have been manipulated with guilt all our lives. If you are a mother, then you are a saint. Bullshit. The relationship must be mutual. How many parents ruin the lives of their children. You tell some general tales like "Beauty will save the world". Since I don't have a close relationship with my parents, I've calmed down. I was so guilty that I didn't feel like living. Now we hear each other on holidays. I started singing. I hadn't sung in years. I am listening to music. Anyone who has experienced pain from a parent will understand me. The rest be healthy and enjoy your parents. But stop making these statements about the unconditional parental love that only exists in movies.

   To number 3 - "Just because someone has become a parent does not automatically mean that they have become a good person and that communicating with them adds value to you." - This is so well said that it cannot be said more clearly about to stop this manipulation. By the author's logic, the Roma, who have ten children each, are the greatest people in the world. The meanest people I know are parents. And some of the best people are not parents. We need to respect our parents, but only if it does not harm our mental health. If it hurts, boundaries are set. I will only tell you a statistic - 90% of divorces among young people are from the opinion of the mother-in-law or mother-in-law, how a family should be looked after. So don't explain to me about parental love, but read the book "Poisonous Parents", visit several psychologists to tell you what are the causes of depression and where they come from - from childhood, of course. Don't get me wrong, love is at the heart of all relationships and it has to be mutual. When it is distorted, people move away and ruin their lives. Love yourself, love your partner, love your parents, but always set a limit when it hurts because you don't owe anyone anything. The stories on the site show that 90% of people live unhappy lives with many problems. And these calls for debt and guilt are not appropriate! But communism did that to us. Guilt and debt, and no happiness. We must be hardworking women, without opinion. Love yourself, love your partner, love your parents, but always set a limit when it hurts because you don't owe anyone anything. The stories on the site show that 90% of people live unhappy lives with many problems. And these calls for debt and guilt are not appropriate! But communism did that to us. Guilt and debt, and no happiness. We must be hardworking women, without opinion. Love yourself, love your partner, love your parents, but always set a limit when it hurts because you don't owe anyone anything. The stories on the site show that 90% of people live unhappy lives with many problems. And these calls for debt and guilt are not appropriate! But communism did that to us. Guilt and debt, and no happiness. We must be hardworking women, without opinion.

   And I agree that after a while your parents take more than they gave you. They should not interfere in your life, just because I will help my children become independent means that I will be happy not to be asked for help.

   I don't know if you are a man or a woman, but have you heard that many mothers of men cling to them and ruin their relationships with many women because they say that no one is worthy of him and only she can love her son very much. Such mothers are terrible. And is this our life as he wrote Every day to visit them. Well it won't happen. In 2 weeks I will go abroad and I will probably call them once a month. That this will be a lot.

   Number 6, I'm not 10 to rely on mom and dad for help. Parents are not obliged to look after us all their lives, nor are we obliged to look after them in old age. If you think it's worth neglecting yourself, your partner, and your children to pay attention to your parents, you better not start a family, as they wrote above. Mom and Dad and their happiness should not be a priority for us all our lives and it is very wrong to think that the happiness of parents depends on how often their children pay attention to them. It is not right to instill a sense of guilt and duty. You are either a victim of such attention, or you are still financially / emotionally dependent. It is normal for them to leave before us, to grieve, but not to eat away with guilt - get used to this thought once and for all.

   I don't know what kind of families you live in, but you are very independent. Maybe because I am from a village and my family has always been united and that is why I wonder if I know ... Please point me, dear people independent of my parents, where in the author's text is the guilt and sense of duty mentioned? Where is the mention of those parents who interfere in the family of their children? That's right, nowhere! It is written only to give the necessary attention to the parent, to show gratitude and to think about him regularly, and not to completely erase him from your life! What if you have a new family of your own? Does this mean forgetting your parents, who gave their whole lives for you? A smart and educated person is able to combine both. It is true that there are both bad parents and bad children, but this is not the point at all, and all of you above have turned it to a totally different subject. And tell me, dear, when you get into trouble, who will help you first - your parents or the evil neighbor, for example? I don't know at all why I waste myself arguing with people who don't have basic values. From number 6.

   Thanks to the author for reminding me. They are everything to me, my best friends. Today I will spend a great day with my father and in the evening I will talk to my mother.

   When we were little, our mother beat us severely. He made me shy with my sister, I still managed to cope with life, but my sister failed. This evil woman managed to break her. My sister is 50, still living with her, and still afraid of her. We owe nothing to this woman. I can never forget the wounds he inflicted on my child's soul. So, this just doesn't apply to my mother. I go to see her once a year, and that's it.

   Number 6/13, as they wrote above, does not need to be literally told that you have to feel guilty and obligated, so it is called manipulation. You are told what you received and what you have to return in return. Or does it make no sense to explain to people who do not have basic knowledge in the field of interpersonal relationships? What you call cohesive, psychologists call emotional dependence (enmeshment, toxic family) and you are an example of that - you live in a village near yours, you are very cohesive and you are afraid to separate from them because there will be no one to help you. You have 100% low self-esteem, you don't want to risk a gram, to try new things, to develop, to be independent, to believe that you can cope on your own in life, without mom and dad and this is certainly stuffed from a young age in the head. You know we live longer than our parents? And one more thing - because I have been living alone for a long time, I will tell you that there are many ways to cope when you have a problem - alone, friends, colleagues, to pay the specialist, your partner (I understand that in your family partners are strangers people are under the road and over the road, and the blood is not water - relatives are relatives forever).